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zed #2500377 10/24/14 06:35 PM
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Just talked to Therapist. She helped me realize that W is already gone. Nothing I can do can make her stay. I have to let her go and maybe 1 day she will come back. Now for the lawyers and/or mediation. I can't say I'm really looking forward to that.


M:35 W 31
D's:6, 4 & 2
T:9 M:7
ILYBNILWY- Mar/14
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zed #2500393 10/24/14 07:12 PM
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So this is starting to move quickly just got an unexpected email W is making a appointment with mediator. Would like a couple thoughts on a couple things. W now says she will move out and take the kids. Where we live I have rights to 50/50 time. Also I get that she is under the impression that she wont have to work. Which again where we live she is expected to help with child support and she did take Civil engineering so she should be able to get a good job. (Thanks to me for paying off her student loan) Should I tell her what I expect prior to mediation. I have 2 reasons why I don't want to. I expect her to flip out again and would rather have someone there. And the other one is I think it would be a nice suprise for her and might shock her (maybe a little vengeful).
The only reason I can think of to tell her is that I do care for her and hope she might be able to cope better if I told her ahead of time.


M:35 W 31
D's:6, 4 & 2
T:9 M:7
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zed #2500395 10/24/14 07:16 PM
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All I can say is that your expectations appear reasonable, especially if backed up by the laws in your state. If you keep your emotions in check, you look like you have a good chance. As to what should be your moral compass, think of you and the kids and not what impact it will have on her.


M39 D6 D3 (at S)
S 2014-09
D 2016-09

"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
Mozza #2500405 10/24/14 08:00 PM
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Remind me - did either of you file for divorce?


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Drew #2500409 10/24/14 08:23 PM
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No nothing yet. Currently living together. W was pushing me to move out last 4 months. I have been DB and trying to make it work. Wife has been checking out


M:35 W 31
D's:6, 4 & 2
T:9 M:7
ILYBNILWY- Mar/14
DP Served Dec.17/14

zed #2500411 10/24/14 08:24 PM
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Sorry that was not very clear Drew. No one has filed for divorce yet


M:35 W 31
D's:6, 4 & 2
T:9 M:7
ILYBNILWY- Mar/14
DP Served Dec.17/14

zed #2500414 10/24/14 08:43 PM
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Originally Posted By: zed
No one has filed for divorce yet

So why are you going to mediation?


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Drew #2500419 10/24/14 09:05 PM
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She want to start separation and someone to move out. Wants to divide assets. A plan for who get the children when etc


M:35 W 31
D's:6, 4 & 2
T:9 M:7
ILYBNILWY- Mar/14
DP Served Dec.17/14

zed #2500672 10/25/14 09:38 PM
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What do YOU want?

And you can't say "I want my wife back, I want my family back..."

We already know that.

What's good for zed right now?

And you don't need to do anything you don't want to right now. She wants to leave, she should leave. But she shouldn't get to take the children out of the family home. You need to be prepared with a custody order if she tries.


Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Drew #2500707 10/26/14 01:12 AM
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"And you don't need to do anything you don't want to right now. She wants to leave, she should leave. But she shouldn't get to take the children out of the family home. You need to be prepared with a custody order if she tries."

I'm a strong believer in this one right here. She wants to leave, fine let her leave. But she leaves with her clothes, her car, and little else. Wives that want to break apart a family should not be rewarded by getting to keep the fruits of the family.


Me 47 - W 35
M 9 - T 10
2 Daughters - 7 & 9
Discovery of EA- 8/4/14
S - 8/5/15
D mentioned - 9/11/14
R & Piecing - 3/17/15
Regard one another as more important than yourselves.
- Philippians 2:3
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