Old dog seeks new trick 4

[LisaB]

OMG Mr Bond, I love that reminder of Grease! That really does sum up what the WAS should see in the LBS after they GAL and 180. I can see that look of shock and interest on John Travolta's face. HAHA! Love it. Now to see it on my WAH's...

And I want champagne and a pedicure.

Hugs to you Old Dog! Keep up the GAL work!
Lisa

[Old Dog]

Some daily inspiration from Susan Jeffers.

I allow my mate to learn and grow in whatever way he or she has to, as I allow myself the same.

[gan]

Oh, man. You never seen Grease? But then what did you when "You're the One That I Want" came on the radio? (I've done the math...you were in prime time to be dancing to Grease!)

I think you should add that to your bucket list, too.

[Old Dog]

Oh, man. You never seen Grease? But then what did you when "You're the One That I Want" came on the radio? (I've done the math...you were in prime time to be dancing to Grease!)

I think you should add that to your bucket list, too.

Scowled. I was into punk rock ;-)

[Old Dog]

OK everyone. Advice needed.

WAW wants to tell the kids to reassure them they'll be OK. Last weekend I thought we'd broach the subject with them but didn't. I wasn't keen anyway even if I said OK let's do it.

So it'll probably be this weekend. I thought it would be a good 180 if I kicked things off. She won't expect that as I always avoided relationship issues.

We've discussed a couple of things to tell them like:

Nothing will change for you in the immediate or even medium future.
We all still live together: although I'm still working away from home in the week.
I'm looking for a job nearer home do I can come back.
You still have two parents who love you unconditionally.

I'm a bit stuck on when they ask why this has happened.

Obviously I want to avoid any blame or finger pointing but hey, this isn't my idea. Do I just have to go with 'we' have changed and don't feel the same way about each other any more?

What have you said? And what other questions might I expect to hear?

Got a DB coaching call tomorrow do I'll ask then as well.

[unbidden]

Just remember this, the worry is much harder than it actually is. It's a hard conversation to have, truly, but it's way worse in your mind. So just remember to breathe. It'll be OK. Not great, but OK.

[Maybell]

Everything you said sounds spot on. When they ask why this happened, let your wife field that question. I did, and though I wasn't thrilled with his answer (and I don't think it rang true for my kids), it was his responsibility to find an answer for it.

Also, I wouldn't wait for them to ask. I would discuss it with your W in advance and plan to include that information in the script, even if it's just high level.

[Old Dog]

Just spoke to my DB coach and he said don't just let WAW field the why/how has this happened question. It's a good opportunity to show her that your not ducking the issue, you want what's best for the kids and present a united front for them.

Focus on being a friend, keep up the PMA, acknoledge this marriage is dead but remember you'll always be in a relationship with her, you got kids.

Got to sleep now, it's late.

[Old Dog]

I found out that there were a couple of Feel the fear and do it anyway workshops in London tomorrow so I thought I'd go along to one.

First of all I had to check with my wife if she was OK looking after the kids for a further day. I felt quite anxious phoning her this morning. How would she react? I felt the fear and phoned anyway and she said 'cool' and seemed very pleased. I still felt weird afterwards though.

Unfortunately, one of the workshops is full and the other cancelled :-( Oh well. I'll look out for the next one.

Ending on a positive though. This weekend, someone is coming to buy my car which I've been trying to sell.

[raliced]

A "Feel the Fear" worksop has an excellent idea, but since your wife is ok watching the kids anyway, why don't you take Maybell up on her dare and hit the spa! I think there is quite a contigent on here who really want you to take that spa day :-)