Wifes severe depression, MLC, and suicide attempt

[Shining]

LT, just getting caught up on your thread. You certainly have a full plate....I don't have advice...just stopping by as a support.

Wishing you the best on your new endeavor, as well. Hopefully, it will keep you occupied and focused away from the craziness.

[Mighty]

Thanks for offering your insight.I feel much like your mother did. Unfortunately a lot of it is out of my control because of my wife and his parents. I fear she will be carried along for a while and not learn the lessons from this that you learned. I think my biggest concern if she goes forward with this is that he won't grow up and will eventually run. I will probably then have to help my daughter and pick up the pieces. Right now I feel she won't be true to herself and get talked into something she may not want to do. She had accused her sister of doing this in the past. I will have to remind her in the future when she complains about her sister.

Keep planting seeds, LT. Sometimes, even when you think they aren't listening, they are.

I am worried about the guy sitch though. That puts you in a difficult position. I'm sorry you are dealing with that. Maybe once the baby arrives, she will be more focused on that, that she won't want to deal with nonsense. She may realize she wants stability for her and the baby and someone to help provide for them. It wont be fun for her to be the sole responsible one and carrying him.

Just keep planting seeds. Firmly and lovingly.

To fill in for all the stopped projects I have decided to start my own company. I have acquired the design software I use as an engineer. Once I get it up and running I will translate my paper sketches to finished products that I will prototype and hopefully take out St Louis to show at a trade show and get things rolling.

Now that is awesome. Good for you. And will be great for GAL, too! Double prizes!

[Lifes Twists]

So my wife is back in the hospital due to psychologic issues. Still trying to piece together what happened at this point. Unfortunately I am dealing with a very ill spouse who is trying to divorce me.

[Atsbaby]

I don't have any advice, but thought I'd give you some hugs, sounds like you need some!

((((Life's Twists))))

[25yearsmlc]

Hi Eric,

No it is not the parenting class. She did that. Because of her suicide attempt DCF did an investigation.

Do you know what their findings were? Did you get a copy of their paperwork? I suggest you do so if you can.

I was left with either seeking full custody or getting a court agreement in place. Within that court agreement is a stipulation that we will attend co parent counseling. It spells out who with, how often and when it will be considered done. My wife stood in court and said that she read the agreement, was not forced into it, understood it, and agreed to it. Now she won't follow it.

As long as you get the kids as much as you/they want, why does it matter? I'm not saying it isn't important, I am just asking what it "costs" you to ignore it, if anything?
Also, why do you say she won't follow it (did she say she won't?)

AND what do You think her reasons for that, are?



My attorney is ready to file a motion of contempt because he knows if it goes to court she will loose and she will also be compelled to pay his fees as well as her attorneys fees.

As a L, I'd be loathe to go after a "judgement proof" woman in court. That's b/c she is someone who doesn't have money. I can get all the judgements I want, but if she has no money, what am I getting paid with? A repos car? Used furniture? Her 401k would be hard to get to quickly...so would it be The mortgage? (But then that affects YOU...)

and if your lawyer is ready to file for contempt it MIGHT be b/c it's easy to prove contempt and thus, "win". The question is, what are YOU gaining by any of that?

"Winning" in these scenarios is pretty much an illusion. (Sort of like winning in a divorce case, actually.)

Also, I missed HOW your wife tried to take her life. Did she write a note?
Did she make a gesture or do the full on attempt?

And regardless, what does SHE SAY about it, now?

How are your daughters doing? Oh, and regarding the issue of you dating, given that you have the girls as often as you do, and you are still married and involved in your wife's life AND your girls are with you so much, I'd strongly advise against it. For many reasons but mostly at this time, for your daughter's sake.

It just strikes me as inappropriate, Immature and probably selfish at this time,
to have a man with an ill wife and 3 daughters living with or near him, to decide he "must date NOW". Not that YOU are saying that, but in general.

You do Not have to agree, and I know it gets lonely, but do you at least see where I"m coming from?

Your daughters need you more now than ever. Don't choose OW over them, just when their mom is checking out.

Kids need a "rock" in their lives and they always know a rock when they see one.

I think it's your job to be their rock for now and the near future.

Despite everything going on, you DO still need to GAL anyhow. For your sanity - and for your daughters to see and KNOW that they are in charge of their lives.

No one else can "make them" miserable (or happy for that matter). WE are all in charge of our lives and our happiness.

Model that for them, by showing how content you are inwardly and as a dad and friend, and that you do not NEED your wife (or any other woman) to "make you happy" or to complete you.

Show your girls That they ARE "enough" for you to be happy with now (plus that will soothe their bruised egos and hearts too.)

Good luck

[Lifes Twists]

Hi 25,

I think I am in tune with everything you have said. I don't think the contempt will do anything except to make money for the lawyers. I have not allowed my lawyer to go forward with it.

My wifes first attempt was in April. She left no note and took a large quantity of pills and booze. As explained to me it was a very serious attempt and yes she truely wanted to die.

I am not sure where you got the idea I am dating. Right now I am not even looking given all the other issues going on I do feel it would not be appropriate at this time. My daughters need me and I do need to be the rock for them. I am doing GAL things that do not require a wife or partner. I am showing them that I am concerned, but will move forward with my life. I am trying to set an example for them and not falling apart given all that is piling on me.

[Shining]

LT, thinking of you. I'm sorry your plate became "fuller" with the recent hospital situation. Sending hugs and prayers.

(((((LT))))))

[Georgiabelle]

LT,

Sending positive thoughts your way.

[ericmsant2]

LT,

Just stopped by to see how you are doing. Sending prayers your way.

[Lifes Twists]

Thanks everyone for your good thoughts and prayers.

I have been a bit numb to everything these last few days. My daughter with the unexpected pregnancy has been suffering severe morning sickness as well as a virus. She finally made up her mind that this was not the best time to bring a child into this world. We just got back from having the pregnancy terminated. She came through well and they dehydrated her afterwards and she is starting to feel much. Everyone here right now has this virus as well as daughter at college. I go and pick her up Wednesday evening and bring her home to recuperate.

We don't really know where my wife is right now. We think she may be in a hospital nearby. If they did not have a bed in the psychiatric ward for her then she could be elsewhere. We have heard nothing from her family either. My daughters want to go look for her location later this week when they are feeling better. I am hoping she is in a place where she can get the help she needs. Beyond that I cannot put a lot of worry into her situation as I have my hands full.