Regarding GAL -- failure shouldn't factor. You're GALing for life experience, not for competition.
Are you one of those guys who looks around the room at yoga to see if you're holding the pose the deepest??? Life is yoga practice. You're right that you have enough information for now. Go live. See the IC about the failure thing if you must, but in the meantime, live as though there's no such thing as failure.
Old Dog... I double dog dare you to go get a spa pedicure. And ask for champagne while you're soaking your feet too. Can't possibly fail at that, and I bet it's a 180 for you too!!!
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
"Sounds like an excuse for laziness - Mr Bond would probably agree - but it's not just that. It is real, and has held me back too long. It's the thing I want to address when I next get to go counselling."
It's not exactly laziness, but it sounds like more of the same behaviors for you. Reading, going to C, talking about it, etc. means nothing unless you actually DO something.
GAL is for 3 things. 1) It's to make you a more well-rounded person personally and allows you to change the bad behaviors that your WAS didn't like 2) It gets your mind off of your sitch, and 3) it allows your spouse to see a more confident person and not the old LBS they are used to seeing. That's what changes perception.
It's like in the movie Grease when John Travolta at the end, sees Olivia Newton-John's character change. It shattered all pre-conceived notions and made him see her in a different light. That's what GAL does.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
You're right saying GAL -- failure shouldn't factor and it doesn't.
Yoga, I do look around but oly to make sure I'm doing it right. Actually I guess there is a little 'can I do it the best' and it's not about that. But then again I'm sure that's true either, it's also how far can I personally go. Maybe a bit of both.
Spa pedicure! Are you kidding? That's not just a 180 it's a 540. I've had a couple of massages in my time but couldn't really relax during them. I loved it when my wife would massage me, but hers were usually half hearted: she preferred it when I did it to her.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
And if you drink that magnum of champagne- you should actually be able to relax and enjoy a massage for once after your pedicure. I think a facial might be in order too......
"Sounds like an excuse for laziness - Mr Bond would probably agree - but it's not just that. It is real, and has held me back too long. It's the thing I want to address when I next get to go counselling."
It's not exactly laziness, but it sounds like more of the same behaviors for you. Reading, going to C, talking about it, etc. means nothing unless you actually DO something.
GAL is for 3 things. 1) It's to make you a more well-rounded person personally and allows you to change the bad behaviors that your WAS didn't like 2) It gets your mind off of your sitch, and 3) it allows your spouse to see a more confident person and not the old LBS they are used to seeing. That's what changes perception.
It's like in the movie Grease when John Travolta at the end, sees Olivia Newton-John's character change. It shattered all pre-conceived notions and made him see her in a different light. That's what GAL does.
Wow! I thought my thread had become a vet free zone. I nearly didn't see it as well. Thanks for commenting Mr Bond.
And I know, I know, I know, and yet I still have trouble doing it. It's so frustrating. I used to go out on my own when I was younger and first moved to the big city.
I've never seen Grease. Perhaps I need to do that as part of my own GAL activity.
I think I have turned some sort of corner now though. It's taken a while, but let's see where I can get to.
Last edited by Old Dog; 09/30/1407:21 PM.
M: 57 / EW: 52 T: 21, M: 8 S: 18, S: 15 Bomb: 1 Jun 14 EA Aug 2014 I think PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
"And I know, I know, I know, and yet I still have trouble doing it. "
If you can get out of bed to go to C, you can get out of bed to GAL. The actions don't have to be big ones. Start by going out for a walk at a park. Then go to the coffee shop. Then into an event. It just takes doing SOMETHING.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
And ask for champagne while you're soaking your feet too. Can't possibly fail at that, and I bet it's a 180 for you too!!!