Want you to know that you are in my prayers...I'll post more later.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I haven't read all of your current stuff, but im sorry to hear the startup isn't working out like you'd hoped. Keep your head up, something will come your way and usually when you least expect it.
Glad to hear the relationship with MIL is still strong and she helped you while in a tough jam. She needs support just like you, so keep that relationship strong. I continue to pray that your W comes back to reality! I know it's tough to go out and do stuff, but make sure you're still GALing in other ways!
Atsbaby M:36 H:35 T: 19 M:12 S:11 D:9 BD: 5/4/14 Proof of OW 8/13/14-love note from her 8/19 admits OW 8/22/14 files D w/o telling me 9/20/14 Says he wants to reconcile
I'm sending you positive vibes....keep going. Don't give up! I've found that networking is the best in landing a job. Again....LOOK UP your Rolodex and arrange a quick lunch or coffee time with your old colleagues. That's how I've landed my jobs...through connections with my colleagues and peers in the field.
Emails, sending out resumes aren't cutting you because there's no face-to-face contact.
One final thing is to sign up for a Meet-Up group in your area with the specialization you're looking for. Some have business contacts and start-ups.
I would like to see that you've signed up for at least 3 Meet-Up groups by Wednesday...'k?
I agree with Wonka. Get in touch with some old friends.
Network buddy.
Tad
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
Thanks everyone! I really needed the support the last few days. Wonka, I've been networking with others in my industry and it seems most of my old colleagues are struggling as well. Which is odd to me since I'm in the oil industry and it's booming around here and I've been in this business for 15 + years. I'm branching out into any sales field at this point but still not getting much. I've joined a few social meetups but there just haven't been many business ones in my area. One thing about that is there are new ones every day so I'll keep looking!
I really am thankful all of your support everyone! By the way Tad, I read that you landed the perfect new job recently. I hope it's going well!
I am sorry things have been so stressful for you. I hope you are well. I am glad that you were able to work out something for your car with MIL's tire. Thank goodness for those blessings, right?! I find that I am so much more grateful and aware of those small blessings these days. I am sure something is waiting for just the right time for you with employment. You wouldn't expect it to be easy, now, would you? That wouldn't be right! Part of this process is to see what we are made of. Well, at least that's the way I see it. And as far as I can tell, Matt, you will be alllllrrrrright! Keep your head up, and enjoy those small blessings. I know something big is around the corner. Be patient, Matt. This ain't easy.
Yeah Matt. Thank you. I love my job a lot. It saved my a$$. Do you know how I got it though? I had totally given up on my industry (broadcasting) and drove a cab for a while, but was making close to nothing. Literally - nothing. I mean, I was close to living on the street. It was that bad. I was at a dead end/in a rut/whatever you want to call it. Finally, as a last resort, I swallowed my pride and posted on my Facebook page that I needed a job. I had a few people post leads on my page - they were things that I had no experience with, but it was something. I applied for all of them and heard nothing back. Then, believe it or not, I heard from a radio buddy of mine that I hadn't spoken to in over three years. (I had gone into a shell and distanced myself from all of my old friends....ALL of them.) He sent me a text right out of the blue telling me that he saw my post and asked if I was still looking. (I was actually surprised that he still had my number.) I told him that I was and the rest is history. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I can see a little light at the end of the tunnel.
My radio buddy? Well....if angels exist, then I swear he is my guardian.
I guess what I'm trying to say is - don't be afraid to let people know that you need help. It took a while for me to believe this again after all that I've been through but....there are good people in this world that would be willing to help but.......you have to ASK.
Take care bro.
It'll get better.
Tad
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
Thanks Mighty and Tad, It's 5:30 in the morning and I can't sleep...again. I just don't know what to do. I keep trying and trying and nothing is falling into place. I know I am partly to blame for the place I'm in right now but so much of it is just out of my control. I must get some money but where do I start? I can't believe that once again, I trusted the wrong people, counted on others who I thought I could count on and now I'm paying the price. I don't know, maybe there is no place for someone like me in today's world. I tried so hard to keep my M together and failed. I tried so hard to be the kind of husband only a fool would leave and my W left.
I feel like I must do something but there isn't anything I can do. Yesterday I found out that one of the other people I work with quit. Turns out that he has a "pill problem" and has been taking Aderall and is quitting to "get clean". OK, so what else do I find out? Well, it seems he owes the company money because the money guy who now tells me there just isn't any money to draw from has been giving this guy money every month for the last several months! Here I need money to live and can't get any and this guy has been giving money to a junkie who hasn't done a thing to help the business! What is wrong with this world? What has happened to everyone?
The one person in the world I always thought I could count on has gone off to find herself and relive her childhood. I'm about to go under and there is nothing I can do about any of it. I'm scared. For the first time since all this started I'm really scared. With no money how am I supposed to take care of my D's? I have to find a way through this. Find a way to make my life start to work again or I just don't know what will happen.
Part of me wants so badly to blame my W for the sitch I'm in. How she left knowing I was counting on her and she did it with a negative bal. in the checking account and unpaid bills while making $7,000 a month. Yes, that would be so easy. But I know that wouldn't be the whole truth. No, I should never have allowed myself to get where I am. I need to look forward, not back but I just don't see a way forward that I can go. There is just no foothold and everything is dark. I just need one sale. One. But even that seems out of reach at the moment.
Sorry to go so negative everyone. I just have never felt so alone in my life like I do now. I just need one thing to go my way. One break that could start me moving forward but it's like I've hit a wall and there is no way through.
I will post on FB about looking for a job. Most of my FB "friends" are from out of state and I don't know how much help they will be but I will try. At this point I will do anything I can. Even if I found a new job, I still have no money until I can get paid. I need money to get caught up or I won't have a way to get to a job or pay the electric and water bills! I hate this feeling of helplessness. This feeling of not being in control of any part of my life. I always thought that no matter what I would have my family. I stuck by my W through hard times for her and always thought that someday, If I ever had a "hard time" she would be there for me but that turned out to be so wrong. What I do now will decide whether I make it or not. My entire life, all my years of hard work have come down to this one point in time where I will either make it or not.
I have tried to live my life the "right" way. To do the right things and be a good person. In a business full of "crooks" I have never once lied to make a sale or compromised my values. I always thought that, in the end, that would come back to help me. Maybe the old adage "Nice guys finish last" is true after all. Maybe I should have been the shark all along. I pray that isn't the case and that I will make it through this time.
I don't have any questions. No worries about my W or our sitch. No I'm just at a point where I need to get this out. Thanks for taking the time to listen. Not sure what I would do without the board right now.
I am in a similar situation financially and work wise as you are. You first need to ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen? You are not going to die, that is at least a positive. I feel that sometimes you have to get to the bottom before you can go up. I am looking at this as a signal that I need to discard the direction I was going and strike out in a new direction. I am looking at it as an exciting opportunity to try new things and see what fits. You can either look at it as a glass half empty or a glass half full. I hope you choose the half full and figure out how to fill it.
Twisting on Life's Rope Me53 W53 M20 D21 D19 D16 BD 2-2013 D final 1-2015 _________________________ "Dream about tomorrow, Live for today, Learn from yesterday"
Hi LT, I've really been trying to see things the way you say. I really have. I have been successful many times in my life and I've been down before as well. This time just feels different since I no longer have my partner.
One of the guys I work with suggested I try joining Uber and make some cash on the weekends giving rides to people. Thing is I need to drive 30 miles to the closest urban area to do this and then hope I get some fares. I just never thought I'd be brought this low again. When I was younger I would have been much more equipped to handle this kind of thing. Here I am at almost 53 and I'm seriously thinking of driving a "cab" (which is what Uber actually is)?
You are right about the fact that I won't die from this. I still have my D's and I still have myself. I've been down before and I've always been able to get back on my feet and do better than before. This time I have no cushion, no room for error. I'll get through this I know I will I just need one small thing to go my way and I'll be fine!
