Hi everyone, Well, things are not getting better in my life in general. Woke up with a 103 fever and think I have the flu! Couldn't go to work today. Made calls from home and a potential sale that I really thought was going to buy said he was going to pass! I can't believe the way things have been going against me in my business life. I sent out 20 resumes, including jobs that I'm more than qualified for and haven't got one call back, not one. I never have had this much trouble finding a job in my life.
On a positive note, my W texted me today. She is upset because her dad is doing really poorly and she asked if I would keep D14 this weekend. I told her I was sick but I would be willing to have her stay with me. She said that D14 is supposed to go to the football game tomorrow night and her first date on Saturday! Thing is I'm in no shape to drive her around so far from home. W texted back that she will be upset but what she doesn't realize is that W's dad is close to dying and that she really needs to see him now. D14 will just have to realize this and "adjust". Man, talk about no sympathy for D14! I just think my W is so stressed out about her father. A big reason for her MLC there for sure.
I tell her that D14 is just now starting to be interested in boys and they tend to get a bit myopic and selfish. We went through the same thing with D19 at the same age. So, I tell W that she needs to do what she thinks is best with her dad (added how sorry I was he was doing so badly) and I will take her if she thinks it best. So, a little bit ago she texts asking how my fever is. I tell her it's still high after taking advil and how I hate being sick. She texts back that she is going to the store and asks if I need anything! Uh, is this the same person who left me with no money and late bills? So, I text back my thanks and tell her that if she wanted to get something for D14 while she was here it would save me a trip. I'm out of fruit and snacks and didn't expect her to be coming so soon. I also ask for a box of tissues as I've run out from my sickness. She texts back she would be happy to do this. Later she asks if D14 might get sick from me and I said that I didn't know but she is young and I'll give her a lot of sppace while she is home.
This is the nicest she has been since she left. In fact she has tried to be aloff it seems most of the time when dealing with me. Nice of her and I guess it's because I'm helping her out but I'll take it. As long as I don't get my car repo'd and then I'm in trouble! I tried to call my parents yesterday and today and I can't reach them. I hate to do it but I may ask for help. They don't have a lot of money but I will pay them back if it's the last thing I do!!
So, still broke, now sick but my W is being decent. I guess I'll take what I can!
I hope you feel better. Try and stay positive dude! Focus on the good things man.
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
OK everyone, I have a few questions for all my LBS friends! Funny how I have never met anyone from the board but there are some here whose opinions and insights I trust more than 99% of the people I know. There are just so many smart, insightful, generous men and women on this sight. There are some who, from getting to know their thoughts, feelings, what is important to them, it really boggles the mind how their S could ever leave them MLC or not. I see so many here that have had their worlds torn apart without warning. Have endured so much pain and hurt and still take the time to help others who are going through much of the same. Who can still find humor and find time to laugh and make others who are in pain laugh along with them. Then there are the those that can see right through you and push you to look at things a different way. I'm so thankful that I found you all!!
So, the questions....someone suggested that I try doing Uber. Where I would give people rides and the payment is all done through a phone app. I don't live in an area that they serve but the city is about 30 miles up the road and I was thinking that maybe, at least on weekends, I could try doing that.(as long as my car doesn't get repo'd!) I was wondering if anyone here has had any experience with Uber or knows someone who does or even just has heard anything good or bad about doing it. I would have loved if they had this when I was in my 20's! I would have made money and probably had fun at the same time. Su@k's that I have to even think about it but I have to do something proactive or I won't make it!
Also, does anyone have any ideas that I may have overlooked. I hesitate to post on FB as the owner of the company would see it and until I at least find a new job, I can still keep trying to make some sales there at the same time. Not only that, to be honest, I'm still hoping that once some funds come in, I can get a draw. Knowing that he was paying the guy that just quit, I don't think it's wrong of me if I did that and still left if I find a different position.
I still haven't been able to get ahold of my parents. They aren't very tech savvy and when they aren't home, they don't even have their cells with them or at least have them on! It was so funny watching my D19 trying to explain how texting works and show my dad how to do it, last time they were in town. They both have the old fashioned "clam shell" cell phones and they don't do apps at all. I did give them a tablet a couple years ago and my dad has started texting through that but half the time it doesn't work. One time when they called he was upset because the girls and I weren't answering his texts. The thing is, we just weren't getting them! I'm sure somewhere in their house they have a VCR blinking 12:00 all day and night!
I just can't stand not knowing a way out of this mess! I have noticed one thing that is different. I'm not angry or blaming my W for this sitch. In the past I would get so angry that she left me knowing that I really needed her support financially for the first time in 20+ years. I would think how I wouldn't have ever done the same to her, no matter how "bad" I felt about the M. Back when she was depressed and hadn't gone to the dr. about it yet, there were times that it got really bad. I couldn't understand why she was acting the way she was, not doing anything but sleeping and playing video games, not taking care of the kids (they were young at the time) and I got to the point every now and again of asking myself why I'm even staying. But each and every time I thought how much I still really did love her. That she wouldn't be able to take care of herself in the condition she was in. There was no way that I would EVER just give up on her. Once she was diagnosed with depression, I at least knew what was going on and that she was sick. It kind of became whenever she acted out back then I would think "That wasn't my W. That was the disease" and that helped me see how she was hurting so much more than I was. Until now, I would think about this and get angry because she didn't care about any of that. She just wanted what she wanted and I wasn't anything but a "problem" that needed to be gotten rid of.
Right now, I understand that I have to stop thinking like that. It doesn't do a damn thing or help me in any way. I know that I am in charge of my life and I need to stop thinking about the past. Hey, at least that's progress in getting through this horrible period in my life. All I need to do is change my sitch. Some day, hopefully soon, this will have been nothing but a bump in the road. A learning experience. All I have to do is make it happen.
Sorry for the long winded post. Got to try and stop doing that.....
Damn Eric! Love the quote! You posted while I was writing my last post and the quote you gave was spot on!! I need to get rid of the bitterness. Thanks for stopping in and taking the time to post, much appreciated!
Thank you so much for posting fth! Things are worse than ever. I'm not sure how I'm going to get out of this mess but time is running out. I've been sick up until today. I did get in touch with my parents and they helped me with my car payments and will do so until things get better (I thank God for them every day!) but that is all they can do. They aren't wealthy at all and have already helped me with my lawyer. The money man at work still insists that there just is "no money" and that he "can't" do anything. (He did give me enough to go to the Dr. but that is all). I have no money at all and have NEVER been in that position in my life. I have to get my D14 today and get her to school and back every day and I just don't know how I'm going to do that.
I'm going into the office today and try and talk to anyone I can to make a sale and will try again to get some money. I did send out more resumes and included places that I never had (or would have) tried before. I also plan on taking time out to try just stopping at places and applying for ANY job. As for Uber, I need gas money to do that and I don't even have that.
On Friday my electric will be shut off if I don't do something about it. My internet will be shut off soon as well as my water if I don't pay that. These places don't seem to want to make arrangements and when I really can't say when I can pay, it doesn't help! I think it would be worse if I said I would pay and didn't. I also am a bit worried about food for my D14. I just don't know what I'm going to do and I'm really scared! This is my fault for, once again, trusting the wrong people. I trusted that my W wouldn't leave me, even after B-day a big part of me never believed she would actually do it. I trusted the people I work with that if things ever got this bad I could count on a draw like they had done for others but I never asked for. Soon I will lose my phone and I just found out I'm over drawn on my bank account and will lose that soon unless I find funds. I just don't know what to do.
Sorry to be such a downer but this is the hardest period I have ever been through in my life and I don't know what to do!
Make some calls. There are agencies and even churches out there that will help pay your utility bills. Some will even help with groceries.
Try the Salvation Army. If they can't help, they should be able to point you in the right direction. Call today man because it might take a day or two.
Also, the Department of Economic Security. They can get you food stamps and even emergency food stamps that allow you to get food today.
Tad
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
Okay...make a list of what is due and by when. List them in priority order. As Tad mentioned...look into services that may be available. Contact every agency you can. If you have retirement funds, find out if you can tap into those.
As hard as it is...stay positive brother...stay positive!
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
