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Jer2911 #2532651 01/30/15 02:45 PM
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My prayers for my sitch have changed so much over the past 3 months. Thanks to a wonderful spiritual counselor I am learning how to pray more like Jesus so that my prayers are less selfish and less from my ego. I still don't think I am praying as perfectly as I can, but I also trust that God knows what is in my heart even if I am not articulating it as clearly as I should when I pray.

Here is what I am currently praying on a daily basis:

Thank you Lord for all of the blessings you have given to me and my family in this life. We have all been blessed beyond measure and I trust that you will continue to bless us even as we struggle through this dark time in our lives. I trust that you have a plan and a future for us even if we are unable to fully understand what that is right now.

Heavenly Father I pray that you will save W's soul and that you will heal everything inside of her that is so broken right now. She is your child Lord and I know that you love her even more than I do. Please be with her now and call her to you so that she can feel, hear, and see the path that you have for her, so that she can find her way back to you, and so that she can understand your Will for her and for our marriage.

Lord, please guide her through the fog and through the tunnel. Be with her Lord as she goes deeper into the darker areas of the tunnel, and give her the strength, tools, and wisdom to deal with her demons and issues that are causing her to make hurtful choices. Give her the strength, tools, and wisdom to make her way out of the tunnel towards a healthier life. She is in so much pain right now and she is causing pain to everyone in her life as a result. Be with her Lord and help her move through this tunnel so that she can be free from those demons and able to live with an open heart.

Lord, I also ask that you continue working on me. My heart and soul are open to you. Please help me to understand your path for me and your Will for me and for our marriage and family. Help me to accept your Will and give me the strength, courage, patience, wisdom, sense of peace, and sense of grace to follow this path and do your Will.

I am your child and I know that you love me even when I falter. I am struggling Lord and I need you to walk with me giving me the strength to get through every single moment. Help me to become the person you need me to be in this life. Help me to be the mother, partner/spouse, friend, daughter, and sister that you need for me to be in this life. Help me to be an instrument of your love, your light, your peace, and your grace in this world for all who I encounter.

Heavenly Father, I also pray that you will place a hedge of protection over our family. The enemy is trying so hard to destroy our family and I ask that you protect us as we continue through this trial in our lives.

Lord, please minister to OW's heart as well. Help her to see your Will for her life. She is really a very sweet young woman, and I do believe she will hear your voice in her heart and soul. Help her to see how my W is hurting her with this A, and help guide her to something better for her life.

Lord, I also ask that you continue to work in the lives of all of the LBSs and MLCers who are struggling today. Give all of them the strength, courage, wisdom, sense of peace, and sense of grace to live according to your Will for their lives. Please give the LBSs guidance with regard to their choices and decisions related to their lives and their marriages. Please help the MLCers move forward through their tunnels and open their hearts, minds, and souls to you and your Will for their lives and their marriages.

Heavenly Father, my marriage right now is broken. It can only be healed through you and your ability to work miracles in our lives. I am placing my marriage at the foot of the cross and I humbly pray that my marriage will be restored if it is your Will. Help me to have patience and to accept your Will regardless of the outcome. I trust that you are working on both me and my W to help both of us follow the path and Will that you have for each of us individually as well as your Will for our marriage. On Earth as in Heaven, Thy Will be done.

Walk with me today Lord as I go through my daily routines and business. Give me the tools and the strength that I need today to be the best possible mother, partner/wife, and friend.

In the name of your Son Jesus, I pray these things and I trust that you are always with me Lord. Thank you for all that you have given me and all that you continue to give me in this life.

Amen.

________________

This is truly the hardest moment of my entire adult life, but I do believe in the power of prayer and have seen it work other miracles in my life. This horrible experience has turned me back towards God and my faith in such a profound way... I have never placed so much faith in God in my adult life, and I do believe that this is all part of His plan to draw me back to Him. It sure would be nice if He could have called me back with something a little less painful, but perhaps it takes something this painful for us to hear Him calling us back.

I will continue to all of you in my prayers as well. God can work miracles...


Me 48, Her 50
(Same-Sex Couple)
3 Children
Together: 9.5 years before BD
BD: Week of 10/27/14
ExW started EA w OW 9/2014
ExW married OW 12/2015
Jer2911 #2533706 02/03/15 12:10 AM
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^^^^^

Jer 2911 what a great prayer. You are so strong to make such a gracious prayer for the OW in your prayer. And the way you have grown closer to God through this is an inspiration to me and I am sure to others on the Board as well. Thanks for sharing your prayer.


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
Wet #2545453 03/07/15 02:48 PM
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Today I celebrate the 5 year anniversary of my being healed of MRSA (drug resistant staph). I had suffered over 3 years with the MRSA, surgeries, ER visits, many treatments of anti-biotics, none of which worked. It always came back.

The healing was done thru the simple prayer of a man and 7 others who surrounded me at the prayer chapel at my home church. Praise God who heals and works miracles.

My take away for everyone here is that one of the earliest names for God in the Bible is El roi (Genesis 16:13), which means "God who Sees and Cares". Never doubt that God knows of your pain, He cares for you, and that He has the power to help. God bless you all.


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
wmwb123 #2546119 03/10/15 03:52 AM
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I pray daily the signature you'll see below! And --

"Blessed are they who keep the Word with a generous heart, and yield a harvest through perseverance."

At night my kids and I pray the Lord's Prayer and The Lord is My Shepherd, and I always add, "Keep in your name the ones you have given us, that our family may be one, as you and Christ are one." And usually i add some prayers for each of them -- e.g., "Heavenly father, we are trying so hard to do your will, and it's so hard, sometimes we forget and are unkind to each other. Fill our hearts with love for each other and help us to stay on your path even when we get confused. (My son) needs you so much, please let him know you are near and that you are with him through his sorrows and that you know he has the strength to use your love to come through his sorrows as a light to others."

Also I try to think a lot about how kicking H out would be easier, a quick fix for my heart -- or having an affair to comfort myself. So by keeping my heart as a heart of flesh, I am offering it to God. So I pray --

I now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up those things that are wanting of the sufferings of Christ, in my flesh, for his body, which is the church

And --

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence; and take not your holy Spirit from me.
Restore unto me the joy of your salvation; and uphold me with your free spirit.
Then will I teach transgressors your ways; and sinners shall be converted unto you.....
For you desire not sacrifice; else would I give it: you delight not in burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Last edited by Gerda; 03/10/15 03:59 AM.

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
Gerda #2549786 03/21/15 06:19 PM
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I am reflecting on how much I have been praying for God to "fix" my W and to heal/restore our marriage, and as I reflect on this I am becoming more and more aware of how God is working in my life since BD.

To be clear -- my W still wants separation/divorce and her EA with OW is still going strong... To the point where W and I have had open conversations about OW and their intentions to have a future together.

However...

Since BD, as I have been praying and more recently engaging in a more active study of the bible, I can now see where God is working in this entire sitch and I feel the need to share it here as a way to give God some praise for the work He is doing here...

1. I am increasingly growing in my faith and developing a much closer relationship with God that I have NEVER had in my entire life... and it is only through this relationship that I have been able to be as strong as I have been through what has felt like a living nightmare in my life.

2. I am still living in our home with my W and our children -- despite W's desire that I would move out right after Christmas. Not only am I still living here, but...

3. W and I are actually getting along like good friends -- and I was convinced around Christmas time that if I didn't move out as soon as possible that W's anger and bitterness would only grow and she would end up hating me... Which leads me to believe that...

4. God is working on softening W's heart towards me... That God is working on removing the anger and bitterness that W was feeling towards me and replacing it with, at the very least, friendly feelings... And this strengthens my faith that God is working to turn her heart around despite what I see and hear regarding her EA with OW...

5. I know for a fact now that W and OW still have only had an EA because I now know for certain that OW is "saving" herself for marriage. This is a huge blessing in my opinion -- an EA is still horrible and of course this could change in the future, but for now the EA has not become a PA.

6. Our weekends have been filled with much more quality family time than before BD. Both W and I seem to be making a greater effort over the past several weeks to focus more on the kids on the weekend -- going out to dinner together as a family, playing games together at home, choosing movies that all of us can watch together, etc.

Yes, the sitch still appears to be headed towards a poor outcome for our R/M, but my faith is growing that God is working to turn this around and I am working hard to rely on my faith in God and not on my own understanding. Notice I said the sitch "appears" and not "is" -- because I don't know what kind of work God is doing right now in my W's heart and in the heart of OW. :-) Some of the blessings listed above are small, but a couple are rather huge... not quite as huge as my W having a sudden and overwhelming urge to reconcile, but these are still victories in my opinion and I feel that is so very important that I give God some praise for all of these blessings.

God is great and I know He is working strongly within me and within our lives. I fully believe that He is working all things for good in my life right now, and I intend to continue praying as I also continue to recognize any and all blessings that come our way as we go through this very difficult trial in our lives.


Me 48, Her 50
(Same-Sex Couple)
3 Children
Together: 9.5 years before BD
BD: Week of 10/27/14
ExW started EA w OW 9/2014
ExW married OW 12/2015
Jer2911 #2553517 04/02/15 02:11 PM
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Yesterday one of our pastors posted the following prayer on his Facebook page... I am posting here for the benefit of those of us who are struggling with situations that include betrayal and OW/OM in our spouses' lives.

Forgiving God, in every generation
you call your people to contend against the brutality of betrayal and sin.
Breathe your spirit of life into hardened hearts,
and your healing love into broken ones.
Keep us steadfast, even in our fear and uncertainty,
in friendships, compassion, and commitments,
that we may follow where Jesus has led the way.
Give us your peace now as we head into the night,
and help those who this evening are crying out to you in desperation. Amen.

During Holy Week I am lifting all of the LBS's and MLCers up in prayer for healing and reconciliation.

Peace and Love to all of you!


Me 48, Her 50
(Same-Sex Couple)
3 Children
Together: 9.5 years before BD
BD: Week of 10/27/14
ExW started EA w OW 9/2014
ExW married OW 12/2015
Jer2911 #2566971 05/12/15 03:42 PM
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Are you not sure what you should do in your sitch? I came across a devotion and prayer by Martin Luther that has helped me, and I think this lines up pretty well with DBing. Here it is:

Job 1:21 - The Lord has given, and the Lord has taken away! May the name of the Lord be praised.

Luther - Isn't it true that your money, property, body, spouse, children, and friends are good things created and given to you by God himself? Ultimately, they all belong to God and not to you.

What if he were to test your loyalty by taking them away from you? What if he wanted to learn whether you were willing to let go of them for his sake? What if he wanted to see whether you would hold tighter to him or to his gifts? What if you become separated from your loved ones? Do you think you would have the right to rant or rave, forcibly attempt to get them back, or sulk until they returned to you? But if you argue that these are God's good gifts to you and that you want to get them back no matter what the cost, then you would be making a big mistake.

If you want to do the right thing, don't rush ahead without thinking. You must fear God and say,

"Dear Lord, the people and things you have given me are good, as you have said in Scripture. Yet, I don't know whether you will let me keep them. If I knew that you didn't want me to have them, I wouldn't even try to get them back. However, if I knew that you wanted me to have them, I would do what you want by taking them back. But I don't know what you want me to do. All I can see now is that you have allowed them to be taken away from me. So I'll turn the whole matter over to you. I'll wait until I know what to do. I'm ready to live either with them or without them."

'By Faith Alone' 365 Devotional Readings by Martin Luther (entry for May 4th); World Bible Publishers.


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
Wet #2567002 05/12/15 04:37 PM
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Wet

That's pretty darn powerful ... excellent post.


M: 48
W: 47
M16 T26-S8
BD Sept13



Wet #2570406 05/21/15 06:28 PM
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Thank you for posting this. Sometimes a prayer is so helpful in letting go of trying to control the outcome.


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17
Painter #2617045 10/18/15 08:32 PM
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^^^ Bumping this thread for any Newcomers interested in discussing prayer with others who are all facing similar struggles.

I also wanted to bring up a question I have on how much love we should have for our WAS?

The Apostle Paul loved his people of Israel soooo much that he wished he could give his own salvation for Israel:

Romans 9:3-4a - For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my people, those of my own race the people of Israel. (NIV)

Who has this kind of love for someone else? To give up for others all of the blessings of being 'saved', including heaven, forgiveness of sins, etc., is a difficult idea or concept to me.

I don't have this kind of love for my spouse. Does anyone think this is possible?

Last edited by Wet; 10/18/15 08:33 PM.

Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
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