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I miss that too, Lisa! But more than just the physical aspect, I miss the deep emotional connection that I thought I had to my H. At the same time, I'm trying to remind myself how exciting and wonderful it feels to fall for someone new. It's been 16 years since my last "first kiss." Maybe that's something to look forward to if all else fails. Trying to find the silver lining!


M: 43 H: 39
D: 14
Married 15 Together 16
BD: 6/2014
S: 8/2014
OW revealed 10/2014
Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress
So over it!
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Posts: 681
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LisaB Offline OP
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Ahoy, I hear you on looking for the silver lining! I have been looking for it so hard I think my eyes will fall out! I actually went on and on the other day to a friend about how I was HAPPY that we split up and how my life is so much better without him. I almost convinced myself.

LOL pilot! I don't have to ask around for a bad sex parter. I am pretty sure I have at least a 50% chance of finding one all by myself. (if past experience proves correct haha)

Like you I know I am perfectly capable of living on my own, but I don't want to. I don't need to "learn" how to be independent. I know how. I have been single a lot. I am not interested in a long, waiting, dry spell...

I know patience is the thing with this DB stuff, I just don't know if I feel like spending my patient time being single and lonely. I wish I had an old fling to call. I would do it in a heartbeat! All my decent old flings are in relationships. You see I have already thought about it haha.

Well, it's not like someone is banging on my door this very minute so I guess these thoughts are a moot point. I just feel frustrated that my WAH seems to be having a more exciting love life than me and here I am lonely wondering if I will ever have a good relationship again. That is rotten. Although from what I know about it, his love life is exciting but not exactly happy. I'd rather be happy, and I am, so I guess I am doing ok.

This week WAH is going away on a work trip with OW. It's one of those team bonding trips, so no work, just play. Annoying because I know he is sharing accommodations with her. I guess the good side is that last I heard she rejected him so maybe the trip will make him suffer. Although I also heard he is now interested in another coworker too so... Well, maybe you can see why I wish I had a new boyfriend(s).

Love stinks.

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Lisa, you crack me up! I hear you. While I have no proof that W is or has had other interactions, I do have to wonder. It makes me sad to think about because you're right, here we are, hoping to save a marriage while the WAS does their thing. I was talking to a friend from my previous job and found out she just left her H earlier this year because of some crazy stuff he was doing. She's still hoping that he'll come around, but said "All the hoping in the world doesn't keep your bed warm at night!"


M:35 W:31
S: 9 D: 5
M: 11.5 yrs
BD: 5/13
W moved out: 7/13
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LisaB Offline OP
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Ugh. I just saw OW walking down the street. (we live in the same neighborhood)

She didn't see me. Of course I said some choice swear words under my breath. Is it bad that I wish horrible things would happen to her? VD is the major one. And it wouldn't be so surprising if she caught one considering her slutty behavior.

Is it worse that she stole my H just because she is insecure and didn't even want him? That she flirted and slept with him to prove she could steal someone's man and then rejected him? Now he is sad because his "crush" doesn't want him. Would it be better if they had tried to have a relationship and failed? Won't he continue to lust after her and idealize her since she rejected him?

Not that it matters.

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Lisa,

I think it's pretty natural to have those feelings. When my W first moved out, I had no idea where she was living. She and I would meet at Target on Friday night/Saturday morning and she would take the kids. When they came back, the kids would tell me this guy was always there. It wasn't until around Halloween when I finally put my foot down about the kids being uncomfortable about him being there that she admitted to me that he was her "roommate" (We're friends an nothing more...). Later toward Christmas when her car got impounded for excessive parking tickets, she finally let me know where she was living so I could pick her up to spend time with the kids. One night as I was dropping her off, I saw his car parked out in the street. It took every ounce of my strength not to go let the air out of his tires. That was just one of the milder thoughts that I had. Haha.

Hang in there. It's a tough road, but as a good friend of mine always tells me, the best way to get through hell is to keep on walking.


M:35 W:31
S: 9 D: 5
M: 11.5 yrs
BD: 5/13
W moved out: 7/13
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Sorry you saw her! It is better that she rejected him, rather the two of them having an ongoing deep love relationship (wouldn't that be worse)? Maybe he'll have a small taste of the heartbreak that we're experiencing.

I feel myself longing for a boyfriend too, even though I'm not in a place, emotionally, where is would be a good idea. It definitely wouldn't be fair to him, and it could make a divorce rather messy (although perhaps more bearable). I saw an attractive guy at a movie screening last night and it was all I could do not to give him my number (but didn't -- had D in tow). What would I tell him: I'm married but interested in dating? I can't imagine that this would be a good pickup line. I'm committed to not dating romantically until the D, based on feedback I got on my thread. I have to have faith that dating, and finding another partner, will happen in its own time. In the meantime, it's good to get back in touch with my own needs. I think if I were to pursue another relationship at this time, it might just be in reaction to my H and my situation. I'm trying not to be reactionary right now, as much as possible.

But I do have those urges!!


M: 43 H: 39
D: 14
Married 15 Together 16
BD: 6/2014
S: 8/2014
OW revealed 10/2014
Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress
So over it!
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Me three! I'm really missing the physical and emotional connection I had with my H (physical contact is up there as one of my main LL). On the other hand, I never realized how many good looking guys there are in my neighborhood!


H 37 Me 36
Together 15 years
Married 5 years
No kids
BD Apr 2014
H moved out 2 Jun 2014
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Hm, maybe I need to move to Australia?


M: 43 H: 39
D: 14
Married 15 Together 16
BD: 6/2014
S: 8/2014
OW revealed 10/2014
Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress
So over it!
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 681
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LisaB Offline OP
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Australian guys are super hot! I have a few on my radar as well... smile

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LisaB
I was reading from the beginning of this thread and couldn't finish because I ran across so many BD. Can you or a seasoned member please tell me what BD stands for? Thanks.

I'll just say from what I read from page 1 to 2, it is very hard being no contact towards them and then when they turnaround and be no contact to you too.


Me:30 W:34
M:8 T:9
D:9 D:4 D:3 S:4 S:1
D bomb: 8/2014
S 12/2014
PA Confirmed in 3/2015 if I recall correctly
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