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2BHappy #2491318 09/26/14 01:45 AM
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Hey 2B, seems like you, me and Shining are all hitting a point where we are aggravated and angry with our H's. I understand your thought process about do you really want the M or just b/c he said he didn't now you do.

I'm thinking and hoping that this is a normal part of the process that helps us detach. But if it's really is moving towards not really wanting the M, well, we will be ok too. Because we get to decide what we deserve, and it's much better thn we are getting right now!

Hope you got to go to the concert!


Me 41 H 40
M 20 T 23
S 19,16, 8 D 13
BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work
BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D
Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015
Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
daring #2491394 09/26/14 11:07 AM
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@Daring
I'm working on my ups and downs, some days I want to stand and some days I want my H to leave ASAP.

I feel like I'm scared to end the M, not sure if that is what I really want, well I want a better M & H, but if not that then...here comes the ups and downs of my thoughts in relation to if I want to continue standing.

Did not get to go to concert:(


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
2BHappy #2491396 09/26/14 11:21 AM
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I'm sorry you didn't attend the concert. You "assumed" that your h might want to go since the performer/singer was someone you both liked. In MLC land, we can't "assume" that things will be the same and "expect" them to want to do things w/us. Yes, you were trying to be a friend and get tickets and when he declined, you were disappointed.

BTW, in MLC land, their tastes in everything change. So, this performer may not be someone he's interested in at the moment. Always keep in mind that they become the mirror image, i.e., opposite of the person that they once were.

Expectations have a way of disappointing us at times w/MLCers.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2491402 09/26/14 11:38 AM
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I may have not been clear, but I never expected my H to go to concert with me, nor did I ask him to go.

When I was giving H a heads up, I ask H if he knew the performer was in town...He said Yes

But not at all , did I expect H to go or ask me to go, I was a lil hurt that he did not mention to me about the concert.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
2BHappy #2491403 09/26/14 11:40 AM
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H assumed I would want to go with him, which is why he did not tell me about the concert.

He probably assumed again yesterday when I mention concert to him...


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
2BHappy #2491404 09/26/14 11:41 AM
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Now, I understand. Again, I'm sorry you weren't able to attend. Hopefully this performer will return to the area again very soon and you can attend.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
job #2491408 09/26/14 11:56 AM
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I don't want to talk to H about my plans going forward, which is kinda hard since H is still in home and we have a s14, so I try to be considerate with letting him know my upcoming plans and for the most part H lets me know his plans...

I sometimes feel like I'm telling "my dad" my plans but in a just letting you know kinda way, but I feel like I hold my breath a little waiting on H reaction to my plans.

VERY tired, and s14 is going thru typical teenage stuff but I think because of this crap with H, I'm less patient with s14?

I need to work on how I respond to s14 and his typical kid situations when Im not in the best mood about my own situation with H.

Sometimes it's all too much. I need to spend extra time this weekend in more prayer and reading to relax my mind.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
2BHappy #2491458 09/26/14 01:54 PM
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2B that up and down feeling is so me right now. As I lok at the threads of some who have been standing for awhile it helps when they say they had a feeling of wanting to give up every few weeks at one point.
My IC gave me good advice- don't maje any major decisions when I'm tired and frustrated and on low reserve as I mightjyst say F it when it's not really what I want.

The low patience with the kids I understand as well. My D13 is in full blown adolescence. Hasnt started her period yet but I swear she is in perpetual PMS!!
My guilt/shame about everything increases when I'm impatient with the kids. I think I too need to spend some time in prayer- thank you for the reminder.


Me 41 H 40
M 20 T 23
S 19,16, 8 D 13
BD1 dec 2012 not sure going to work
BD2 sep 2013 seeking a D
Filed oct 2013, D Feb 2015
Life is about daring greatly, about being in the arena- Brene Brown
daring #2491527 09/26/14 04:15 PM
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When I feel like this I should tap my mouth
Convo with H that started about s14 ended up with me telling H to stop blaming me for all the problems in his life, let him know he brought issues with him. Ended with if you are not happy then go be happy, I care about you so much that I want you to be happy and if that is not with me, then its not, but go be happy and stop blaming me for all your problems.

Truth Darts, or at least exactly how I feel!
Hope he heard me loud and clear!

What set me off,,,could have been
H talking about he has no social life cause he works all the time, then mention all the money he has to give me each month to pay our bills.
I said you have no social life is not my fault.
You work all the time cause you want to.
I pay half the bills in our home but don't blame H for that!
I did tell him I appreciate him helping with our bills and our son and I really want him to be happy, and THANKS for everything then gave him a quick hug


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
2BHappy #2491818 09/27/14 04:55 PM
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I broke

After our talk yesterday H and I had hot sex, but it felt like H was trying to just stake a claim...

anyway today after sons game, I guess I was still in a trance from yesterdays sex and I ask H for a kiss, he looked shocked and a smirk on his face,,so I said oh never mind keep your kisses save them for old age...

On the drive him I was MAD, shaking, H was in the garage heading to work I told him I had something for him,

took off my ring placed it in his hand and went to walk away he threw it in my car seat, I took it and ran to his car and put in it side door, he was just looking at me, I said I'm tried of being a wife with NO husband and came in the house told him to have a great day at work.

I'm still shaking a little, H sat in garage for a while,,not sure if he put ring back in my car or not, but Im done wearing my ring for now, maybe for ever!

I think until if ever H puts his ring back on, I have no need for mine.

The no kiss embrassed, pissed me off and hurt me, I'm like Im good enough to have sex with at home but not kiss in public!!

The no ring on H finger is a louder message to me then ever.

right now F _ _K my H.


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
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