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My old friend....

I am gonna borrow your thread for a minute, to ask....

MODS...what is up with the time stamps for posts ???

They used to post, for me at least, in Eastern time..

Has that changed to Mountain, or something else ??

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Mach,
Shining raised the same question yesterday and here is Cadet's response to her:

"Originally Posted By: 2BHappy
Did they change the time zone for this site? The post times seem very different?

Somehow the times in our preferences got changed
Mine was set for zero or greenwich mean time and I am on Eastern Standard time and it needed to say -4

I suggest you edit it.

I can list directions if you cant figure it out
Start with "my stuff" then Edit preferences"

Apparently the lastest updates that took place over the weekend scrubbed some of our profile info too, i.e., the time zone issue.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Sorry about that time stamp issue. Didn't notice it until you mentioned it here.

Don't know if it is fixable, but we're looking into what we may be able to do.

Thanks


Michele Weiner-Davis
The Divorce Busting Center

Transform your marriage with a private 2-day intensive with Michele Weiner-Davis. http://www.themarriageintensive.com
Email michele@divorcebusting.com
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Okay....I think I figured it out...

THANK YOU JOB !!!

You are such a blessing ...

THANK YOU VIRGINIA

When I went to my preferences, where it says to adjust the time..

I put in a -4 hours, and it seemed to set it correctly for me...

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Originally Posted By: Virginia
Sorry about that time stamp issue. Didn't notice it until you mentioned it here.

Don't know if it is fixable, but we're looking into what we may be able to do.

Thanks

You(meaning DB mods) dont need to do anything other than follow the directions that I have given in two different posts.

This is a problem that the users can solve.

MLC BOARD
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2490161#Post2490161

NEWCOMERS
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2490204#Post2490204


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Cadet #2537131 02/11/15 11:50 PM
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Calling Wonka or anyone else who would like to help.

rather then hi jack someone else's thread I will post to you here.

what do you think the welcome post should look like on newcomers. Do you have any suggestions for links? I am willing to brainstorm with you to make up that post.


Last edited by Cadet; 02/11/15 11:53 PM.

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Thanks for hearing my bat signal, Cadet!

Here are the two greetings that you roll out for newbies and MLC. What I would like to see is that the Sandi Rules, Validation & Boundaries Cheat Sheets links inserted in the newcomers greetings for newbies. Can you somehow work that in there somewhere? Thanks a bunch! smile Mwah Oh and add the link to abbreviations in this section.

Newbies do need help with resources and links as well that is done for the MLC posters.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NEWCOMERS FORUM

Welcome to the board

Get out and GAL.

DETACH.

Believe none of what she says and half of what she does.

Have NO EXPECTATIONS.

Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.

You are on moderation right now on the forum.
SO post in small frequent posts until you get off of it.

Your W is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.

USE it wisely.

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon


MLC FORUM

Welcome to this board.

The first thing you should do is be sure to read the Divorce Remedy book by MWD,
Divorce Busting is also an excellent book.

Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.

You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support)

I have read a good deal of books on the subject and can give you some suggestions when you are ready.

Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.

I will give you a bunch of homework assignments to read.

However due to the board PURGE this POST is under reconstruction and
we will be working on this as time goes by, this is the most current version,
sorry for the confusion.

I would start with the going dark link.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=50956#Post50956

Abbreviations
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2183063&fpart=1

Reccomended Reading thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2483893#Post2483893

The Lighthouse Story
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...619#Post2484619

MLC for Dummies
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=960393&page=1

Great one liners
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...true#Post894543

TMAK Reconnection
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...011#Post2485011

Snippits from the Anne Sheffield depression site
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=851708#Post851708

Stages of the LBS
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1964990&page=1

Validation
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=191764#Post191764

Doormat Tactics
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...444#Post1942444

Standing vs leaving
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1966340&page=1

Why they run:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2484259#Post2484259

Pursuit and Distance
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2483574#Post2483574

Musings from AmyC
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2253741#Post2253741

MLC Signs
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2177869#Post2177869

Odds and Ends from Delboy
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2488315#Post2488315

The Final Stages Withdrawal to Acceptance
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2074403&page=1

Now you have all the tools to read. Let us know how your doing and if you have any questions.

I suggest that you read the entire thread in the resources.
You can also pick out some people and read their whole story.

Depression is the key to the whole thing and it is always present!

Believe none of what she says and 50% of what she does.

I would not ask her anything unless you can have no expectations.
Sometimes asking them questions will be thought of as pressure.
You do not want to do anything that can be thought of by your H as controlling or pressure.

Lets not worry about her. Lets work on you!
Start your homework assignments.
Something to DO while you are on moderation.
GAL.
Eat, sleep and take a deep breath.
In general take care of your self first.

Detach the single most important thing to DO.

Your W has given you a gift
THE GIFT OF TIME
use it wisely

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon
_________________________

Last edited by Wonka; 02/12/15 12:01 AM.
Wonka #2537192 02/12/15 03:11 AM
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I'm not a vet but was remembering how devastating that first week or so was after bomb drop, and agree with Wonka (hiya Wonka smile ) that newbies need some resources too.

One of the most helpful things for me was when my marriage counselor gave me a list of "dos and don'ts" which was very similar to Sandi's Rules. It calmed down a lot of my ex's reactive craziness. I think you could suggest that newcomers read Divorce Remedy, and agree that the "validation cheat sheet" Wonka posted last year would be very helpful to newcomers. In addition, I would explain what moderation is, besides just telling them that they are on moderation, and think you should write out what GAL stands for.

Maybe the post for newcomers could look something like this: (I "borrowed" a bunch of your welcome post on the MLC forum)

NEWCOMERS FORUM

Welcome to the board

Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.

The first thing you should do is be sure to read the Divorce Remedy book by MWD, her Divorce Busting is also an excellent book.

You may be on moderation now, meaning that each of your posts must be checked before it is published on the forum. Newbies are moderated until the moderator has observed good posting behavior, and he or she can recommend to the administrator that the newcomer can be unmoderated. Therefore post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support)

Get out and Get a Life (GAL).

DETACH.

Believe none of what he or she says and half of what she does.

Have NO EXPECTATIONS.

Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.

Your H or W is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.

USE it wisely.

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon

Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:

Sandi's Rules: A list of dos and don'ts for the LBS (left behind spouse)
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2380415&page=1

Validation Cheat Sheet: Techniques and tips on how to validate (showing your walk away spouse (WAS) that you recognize and accept his or her opinions as valid, even if you do not agree with them)
(http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2534754&page=1).

Abbreviations
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2183063&fpart=1


Linda

Me 65, Ex 64
M 38 y
2 adult S, 4 G-Kids
MLC 11/07
BD 12/09
D 3/14
Dating nice guy 7/14
Engaged to nice guy 12/17
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Thanks Wonka and Linda I would propose this for the
NEWCOMERS FORUM
(anyone else? Starsky? Mr Bond? have any suggestions)

Welcome to the board

Sorry you are here but you will meet some wonderful people here and get some great advice.

The first thing you should do is be sure to read the Divorce Remedy (DR) book by MWD, her Divorce Busting(DB) is also an excellent book.

You may be on moderation now, meaning that each of your posts must be checked before it is published on the forum. Newbies are moderated until the moderator has observed good posting behavior, and he or she can recommend to the administrator that the newcomer can be unmoderated. Therefore post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support)

Get out and Get a Life (GAL).

DETACH.


Believe none of what he or she says and half of what she does.

Have NO EXPECTATIONS.

Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.

Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.

Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:

I would start with the going dark link.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=50956#Post50956

Sandi's Rules: A list of dos and don'ts for the LBS (left behind spouse)
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2380415&page=1

Validation Cheat Sheet: Techniques and tips on how to validate (showing your walk away spouse (WAS) that you recognize and accept his or her opinions as valid, even if you do not agree with them)
(http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2534754&page=1).

Abbreviations
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2183063&fpart=1

Stages of the LBS
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1964990&page=1

Validation
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=191764#Post191764

The Lighthouse Story
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...619#Post2484619

Your H or W is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.
USE it wisely.

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon


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Cadet,

Don't forget the Boundaries: Cheat Sheet link as well (I suggest that you put it right under the Validation: Cheat Sheet link). I'm not sure if the Lighthouse link is applicable to newbies as it is more appropriate for LBS with MLCers.

Isn't Divorce Remedy book the second edition of the original Divorce Busting book? I bought both and DR essentially covers what DB did in the first edition with new additional information and improved topics.

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