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shodan Offline OP
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Mr Bond...thanks for the input. I agree that it can be done but that it is harder when she is here. Then again, if she were not here, it would be easy to detach but that would not be good for our R/M either.

This morning, my W mentioned that she is trying to plan her travel for next week. She may need to be gone Tue-Fri. She is trying not to leave Tues night so she limits her travel to only Wed and Thur night, coming back on Friday. But she may have to leave on Tuesday if her meetings start Wednesday morning. I just told her to do whatever she needs to do. If she needs to be gone all week, we (the kids and I) will understand.

The ironic thing is that pre BD and A, I would support fully my W traveling for work. I would not like it but I also know that her job is important to her. I am trying to keep that mindset now but of course it is harder with the A in the air. Granted, she has not admitted to the A but has shown signs that she is not really in it fully.

Not sure what to do here except detach, GAL and be patient. My DB coach believes that my W needs to feel that I will not hold the A over her head for the rest of our lives. my DB coach also believes that my W has some deep hurt that she is struggling to get over. It could take a while for her to get to that point where she is willing to take the leap of faith to work on our M. Which brings me back full circle to detaching and GAL, which is the only way that I can survive this.


Me: 40, W: 40
M: 15, T: 18
D - 10, S - 7
D announcement 6/7/2014
A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W)
Still living together and sharing same bed
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You can show her your STRENGTH as a man inside and out while she is there. Conduct your business the way you want to. This doesn't mean that you pay all attention on her, it means that you just do what you want to do in the best way possible irregardless of whether she notices or not.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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shodan Offline OP
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Update...we had a pretty good weekend. Yoga, coaching soccer, etc. My wife had a charity event in Westchester Fri and Sat night. So was able to get out of the Sat night event and came home by 8pm. She stayed in CT near the event, not in NYC, so perhaps she was telling the truth and not with the OM.

Unfortunately, Sunday I did some snooping and found tickets to a concert in NYC for this coming Thursday that my W had bought. Of course, I knew nothing about them. The lies are what are killing me. I have no idea what to believe anymore. It is pretty apparent that my W does not care that I do not trust her. She feels entitled to do whatever she wants. But then she also will make efforts to fly out the morning of a meeting (rather than the night before) or come back on the last flight home (rather than stay until the next day) so I see efforts by her to NOT be in NYC and to be around her family.

I know the answer is to GAL and detach. I am just venting really. I just hate that my family and I are in this situation. My kids do not deserve this. I do not deserve this. Uggh.


Me: 40, W: 40
M: 15, T: 18
D - 10, S - 7
D announcement 6/7/2014
A discovered 7/20/2014 (but denied by W)
Still living together and sharing same bed
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