Quick question: What exactly does "detachment" mean? Is there a definition of what it entails? Does it just mean "indifference"? Is there something I can tell myself? I know it goes hand in hand with GAL, but I find that when I'm not GAL, I'm still thinking about the situation at all times. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and I'm thinking about it. This has been going on for more than five months now. It's definitely getting easier, but I see some people who seem to have successfully detached in a matter of weeks. Right now I'm trying Starsky's "I'm already dead" suggestion and trying to tell myself "I'm already divorced."
Indifference=not caring one way (hate or love)
Detachment=you may care, but are not caught up in the other person's actions/behaviors
When one feels either love or hate, one is not really indifferent because your thoughts dictate your emotions. Really. How you think colors your emotions. Indifference means you do not feel love or hate. One is just simply neutral. Make sense?
For me, I really really hate Ms. Wonka's OW. I am still feeling emotion about the OW because I am not completely indifferent to how I think about the OW.
Now, I am detached from Ms. Wonka and the OW. Which means I am not caught up in what they do or don't do with their lives. Detachment comes with dropping the rope.
Dropping the rope means you are not emotionally tied to or invested in the other person's thoughts, comments, attitudes, and behaviors. GALing is essential in getting you on the path of dropping the rope. Dropping the rope is directly correlated to detachment.
Thank you, Wonka. I'm going to have to read that several times and process it. I appreciated your comments on another thread, so I'm really glad you posted on my thread.
M 16 T 17 W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14 ILYBNIL 5/14 A discovered 6/14 D papers served via USPS 8/14 Filed my response 9/14 D final 5/15...
