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#2487859 09/12/14 06:15 PM
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Dun Offline OP
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I have been married for 13 years and my wife and I are separated (Not legally in TX). I have given her 13 years of misery and she was selfless throughout the relationship. She just wanted to keep the family together as we have a 13yo daughter as well. She finally hs the confidence to be on her own and have her time. We got married at 20 so we did not have a "dating" time in our lives. We had our daughter at 20 as well so it was never really "us" time which has affected the relationship. I was selfish for the 33 years I have been living. I finally said no more and am not selfish anymore and let her know I was willing to let her go to make her happy because I truly love her. I do not want this and have done a complete 180 in my actions. I never respected her, defended her, verbally abusive, etc. I am working on myself and my marriage without my wife right now but I am hoping she will see the light soon and want to stay.

Dun #2488909 09/16/14 07:16 AM
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Welcome to the board

Get out and GAL.

DETACH.


Believe none of what she says and half of what she does.

Have NO EXPECTATIONS.

Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.

You are on moderation right now on the forum.
SO post in small frequent posts until you get off of it.

Your W is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.

USE it wisely.

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon


Me-70, D37,S36
Cadet #2489206 09/16/14 09:37 PM
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Dun Offline OP
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The last few days were easier. Worked out a few hours last night, football on Sunday with the guys..getting through this easier.

Dun #2489222 09/16/14 10:24 PM
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I know this sounds stupid, but football couldn't have come at a better time for me. It guarantees me 4 days out of the week where at least I know I can do something that I enjoy. Obviously I don't watch all 4 days but it's nice to know I have that option.

Sometimes it's the simple things


Me 34
W 30
T 13
M 8
BD 7/27/14
EA Confirmed 8/6/14
S 8/2/14
D Imminent

I quote the immortal words of Socrates who said "...I drank what?"
Dpthght #2489231 09/16/14 10:52 PM
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Keep up the good work. She will need to see those changes for a significant amount of time for trust to build. I wish you the best.


Resentment occurs when we aren't doing what we need to care for ourselves, though we expect others to do it for us.
Dun #2489531 09/17/14 06:11 PM
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Originally Posted By: Dun
I have been married for 13 years and my wife and I are separated (Not legally in TX). I have given her 13 years of misery and she was selfless throughout the relationship. She just wanted to keep the family together as we have a 13yo daughter as well. She finally hs the confidence to be on her own and have her time. We got married at 20 so we did not have a "dating" time in our lives. We had our daughter at 20 as well so it was never really "us" time which has affected the relationship. I was selfish for the 33 years I have been living. I finally said no more and am not selfish anymore and let her know I was willing to let her go to make her happy because I truly love her. I do not want this and have done a complete 180 in my actions. I never respected her, defended her, verbally abusive, etc. I am working on myself and my marriage without my wife right now but I am hoping she will see the light soon and want to stay.


This is all very fuzzy and confusing. What, specifically, are her marital complaints about you? Which of them -- from your perspective -- are truly faults you need to acknowledge and work on?

The sexting other men from inside your marital home has to stop, regardless -- it's incredibly disrespectful to you and to your marriage. Time to lay a firm boundary on that one.


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
Starsky309 #2489541 09/17/14 06:47 PM
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Also, have you read DB or DR yet?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER

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