Things I'd love to tell my wife...but probably shouldn't
Was praying this AM and got a bolt from the blue (okay, and Mr. Bond) - as far as you are concerned, we've been divorced for maybe as long as a year. And that explains a lot. And that's ok. It makes moving forward that much easier and helps me recognize the importance of being steady and consistent.
I am going to take your statement that I'm not being foolish by being hopeful at face value. Maybe you said that because you thought you needed to keep the peace, or for your own reasons. It doesn't matter. With the exception of a few minor ups and downs, this is me from here on out. My hope is in the Lord - I know what he expects of me.
I'd like to get to know you better. New hopes, dreams you have for your own future. No need to discuss our current R or sitch - whatever comes from this point forward will be an entirely new thing - with a little shared history. No need to respond now - just consider it. I won't hassle you about it.
Last edited by Shakspr; 09/11/1411:27 PM.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
No real change, but draft divorce decree was sitting wide open on family computer when I got home tonight. Nothing unexpected, so that's a relief. Still hurts to read, but not as much as I expected.
She ought to put that away before one of our children who rises early sees it. They don't know yet. Or I can just close it.
Last edited by Shakspr; 09/12/1404:37 AM.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
Just journaling. Saved and shut the D document early this morning. Txtd her I saw it (as well as hard copy on printer), didn't comment, told her I noticed it while shipping stuff out for eBay (true statement.)
Hard day at work + little sleep lately = LEAN ON MY WORK BUDDIES
Friends - real friends - are amazing. I am glad that I am the kind of person who is a good friend, and that I get the same in return.
Woke up this AM having a dream about two girls I haven't seen since high school 1989! - in the dream, it went bad because they showed up in same place at same time. WEIRD.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
Shakspr, I'm glad you have real friends to lean on. That's so important right now. I'm sorry you're dealing with the D documents, which must be stressful. I also can't imagine being under the same roof while that is going on.
As for dreams, I find that my dreams have definitely been twisted lately. Last night I dreamed that I was fooling around with ex-boyfriend in front of H to make him jealous, but then I became afraid of losing him.
It's funny how our subconscious tries to process what we're dealing with in real life.
I wish you the best.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
Got enough sleep last night to be exhausted, not delirious today. Gonna visit friends and watch football later. Got donuts w/ D8 this AM.
Briefly discussed D document w/ W last nite. No drama, just basic shared complaints of what the Atty had screwed up on the first draft. I teared up a bit once but kept my head.
She definitely has a playbook. I think that I almost cracked it when I told her I realize, that to her, the marriage has been done for over a year. Oct 20 is just a date on the calendar. What she sees now will be what she sees until D-day and beyond. So I want to start rebuilding trust and friendship so we can be good parents - together or apart.
She got real quiet. Not mindreading, but there was a distinct change in posture, etc. Then she shook it off and we went on about our respective evenings.
Last edited by Shakspr; 09/13/1404:08 PM.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
Feeling blue. Like DB'g will do nothing to retrack my WAW. I know it's helping me,but the end goal seems completely out of reach. Time to read some success stories of post-Divorce couples.
Me: 43 XW: 43 T15 M14 D21, SS15, S11, D8 BD: 8/6 EA / possible PA discovered 9/29 D final 10/20
Yep. I'm in that same "seems hopeless" place, maybe I'll go into the success stories, too.
Hang in there, we're all here to support you. 11th hour miracles DO happen!
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
The thing to remember is that DB is really about you, and not necessarily about restoring the relationship with your spouse. That may or may not happen, and there's little we can do to control it, although our DB actions help make it possible.
By practicing DB we become stronger within ourselves to that we can handle either outcome. Stay strong!
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
