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Quote:
J's jaw just dropped.


I would have loved to be a fly on the wall wink My ex and his wife met my BF briefly a couple of weeks ago - all 6'3" muscular handsome black inches of my BF wink My ex looked very gray and older than I remembered.

Quote:
I have to be honest and admit it stung a bit. And I don't get it because I don't want him back, but seeing that ring brought back a lot.


It's probably more about him marrying the OW. I don't remember even noticing my ex's wedding ring, but then, his wife was not an OW (they started dating about 10 mos after we split) so I really don't care. I'm sure I'd have a lot more difficulty with it if he had married one of the women he cheated on me with.

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Wishing,
I think your former neighbors went to the wedding out of curiosity...nothing more. Let's face it, your xh screwed up his life and he was another one that had a nice home, wife and lovely family...so what did he got after? They had to see if for themselves in order to believe what he took up with.

Any way, take things slowly and when the time is right, you'll know when to take things further, i.e., moving in together. Sometimes we have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the real prince that will appreciate, love and cherish you the way you were meant to be.

Here's hoping the new year will be a far, far better one for you and your family. It's time for you to begin a new chapter in your life as the page is blank and waiting for you to begin to write on it.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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Hello all

I thought I would touch base and let you all know what is going on in life.

Things are so much better in life with the new guy. I can't believe how different this guy is compared to my X. He treats me with respect, helps out with housework and does all the cooking and is totally supportive of everything. I keep pinching myself to see if this is real. And extra plus, both kids love him. He's the real deal and we are getting very serious. We are talking about moving in with each other. He also told me he has student loan debt and since I have the debt my EX left me with we have vowed to work together to pay down that debt. It's nice to be with someone who doesn't spend money like it grows on trees.

In other news, EX is still going out of the country for work. We have a right of first refusal clause in our order which states if either parent cannot be with the kids for an overnight then that parent should contact the other parent to take care of the kids. Well, Ex calls me last Friday and asked me to take care of the kids on Thursday until his plane gets in. I asked him "what about Wednesday" and he tells me his new wife is taking care of them. I explained to him what our order said about ROFR and he claimed that only applies to babysitters, not stepparents and that his NW has just as much rights to the kids as me. I told him he couldn't be more wrong. After a few more arguments I told EX I was getting clarification from my attorney. He snapped and told me if I was going to be difficult then he would find alternate care for Thursday and hung up on me. I tried to call him back, but he refused to answer the phone.

We have exchanged a few emails back and forth but to no avail. He claims that the wording of "should" in the clause gives him the choice to pick and chose who can watch the kids and that it is up to his discretion. I told him he was wrong and I wasn't giving my OK because that set a precedent. He didn't respond.

Why does he have to play these games still? Is it his sick little way of keeping me in his twisted little life? I guess I have no choice that to contact the courts and let them handle it.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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Why is he still playing games? Because he can and he will just to get his way. Get clarification on the child care issue and have it written up in plain English and provide it to him. The more you argue w/him, the more ego kibbles he's eating up.

I know he still gets under your skin, but he's still very much a child and he will flex his muscles whenever he can. You, on the other hand, will need to keep your boundaries and when he sees you aren't backing down, he just might change his tune.

I'm sorry he's still acting out...but get the clarification and go from there.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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You are doing so awesome! Congratulations.

They are gonna do what they are gonna do. You keep doing what's right for you and your kids.

Count your blessings. How lucky are you to be rid of a jerky guy.


----
M 39
H 35
D5,D4
M 4
T 9
ILYBNILWY 5/18/11
Left 7/11/11
Divorced 12/1/13

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Quote:
Why is he still playing games? Because he can..
It's been my experience that you could stop the sentence there. The reason behind it is unknowable a lot of times. Even to them it seems. That, and they don't remember it later in many cases.

Good job keeping to the boundaries and clarifying. You're right, precedence is a pain smile

AJ


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK
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"Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world
Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
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Thanks everyone. I heard back from the attorney (man I was hoping I would be done with that guy) and he re-affirmed X is wrong. I already knew that though. He just thinks he is right.

So the attorney gave me some advice and suggested I email X one more time stating my position and if X fails to respond or doesn't follow the court order, he will be in contempt. So that's what I did. He is Hong Kong right now so I probably won't hear from him for a few more hours. I suspect he will hit the roof. The way I worded the email is very professional, very matter of fact and full of legal-eze. Not bad for an amateur if I do say so myself.

I don't know why I am so freaked out about dealing with this guy? Maybe PTSD? I don't want to say I am scared of him but I don't like the confrontation and he knows it. Time for a 180 I guess.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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I'm glad you spoke to the attorney and now you know for sure that what you told your xh is correct.

If he's going to go nuts over your message, it's best he's in Hong Kong and far away from you where he can't do a thing about anything. I'm sure he's going to have a few choice words to dish out...but stay calm and do not get into a heated discussion w/him. Keep it short and sweet and if he's nasty, then go silent. Sometimes by remaining silent the true message is heard more so than actually saying anything at all.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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That is so true Job.

I got a text last night from X simply stating he no longer needs my help with the kids on Thursday. Apparently he did not like me standing up to him. I simply texted back "I am sorry to hear that" and left it at that.

This morning OW texts S and asks him what time he will be done with his band performance tonight so she can pick him up. S asks me and I tell him I don't know. So 10 minutes later X texts S and asks the same thing. Again, S responds he doesn't know. X and OW don't want my help or assistance? Fine. Then X and OW get none of it and can figure it out for themselves. I just told S to text OW when he was ready to be picked up.

Five minutes after I drop the kids off at school, X emails me and says he hopes I didn't instruct the kids not to go to his house after school because then I would be interfering with the placement agreement and he would be forced to take action through the court. I didn't respond. Another five minutes go by and X texts me that he emailed me. Another five minutes and I receive another email stating the same thing as the first.

He was trying to bait me into a fight and get a reaction from me. He got nothing but eerie silence. I'm just waiting for the right time to watch him hang himself.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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WH,
Don't respond to his crazy texts. He's trying to bait you into an argument. It's all projection because he knows full well what the placement agreement states and he also knows that you are following it to the letter.

Ignore him unless it's an emergency. Continue on your path and allow him and ow to figure things out for themselves...the first order of business for them to learn is how to communicate and keep a calendar! LOL!

Stay the course.


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
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