Kat, you're great, and you always make me smile. "Seen" or "Seven", both make sense.
Yes, my W and I could move in together at her condo, oh but that would mean the kids would be taken care of. No, I cannot move closer to my W, I just agreed to an extension on my lease (I've been here over a year already, where does the time go?) She has chosen her new lifestyle over the kids and I, no matter how crazy it seems to the rest of the world.
I just texted W about details on picking up d17 and s13 after the game/ACT. She is up before 6 am and provided a quick 'thank you' reply. When we were together, she always slept past 9 am on most days. When does the draw of being out late and being up early fade away?
S13's school has apps that you can install on your phone. The teachers update it daily. The apps show what was assigned each afternoon. I make S13 show me the completed homework, even if he did it in class or study hall. I had to work late one evening and W was with S10 at football so I had S13 take a picture of the completed work so I knew for sure. I can't make him get A's on tests and quizzes, but I sure can make him get credit for all his homework. At the very least I would email his teacher frequently. I have found that as long as I am not complaining, this contact actually helps with the grades because the teacher knows we are trying!
M42 W40 T17 M15 S13 S11 BD 7-14 A discovered 7-14 WAW moved out 10-3-14 D final 2-23-15
She is in a fog. The only thing she is really focused on is herself. It would be great if she actually felt what she is doing to others,but she doesn't. Seen years later, my ex still doesn't think he hurt the kids in anyway. He is happy, that is all that should matter to anyone in his mind.
Wet, has it occurred to you that you also do not know what she is doing?
I do know that you want her to be a mom. I get that. Who wouldn't want that?
Is it possible she is doing what she can as best she can? Not saying I agree with her choices, but it doesn't sound to me like she doesn't "want" to do those things. Rather, it sounds more like she "can't" seem to make it happen. I say it that way based on your description, but based on what you've relayed so far, it would seem that she is not able to be there for the kids although she'd like to think she can.
If nothing else, you'll need to stay on top of it like you are. Somebody in your W's frame of mind can barely take care of themselves, let alone be a parent.
She just ended her EA? How do you know that?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
AJ writes: "Wet, has it occurred to you that you also do not know what she is doing?"
Hi AJ, you are correct. I don't have a clue about what my W is doing. I do know she does not have a job, no longer has exotic cats to sell, and is trying to start-up a new business of photographing others for their dating website photos. My d17 complains my W is not home very often.
I also know that as of 3 weeks ago she still was involved in at least one dating site. I have staid away from snooping since then.
Yes, AJ you are correct that my W might be trying her best. But a big part of being successful at anything is just showing up. Because of last week's missed school assignments, I am not sure that she is even doing this. Other things are more important to her right now.
AJ also writes: "She just ended her EA? How do you know that?" Whoops, I think you are mistaken on this. I have no evidence, nor do I even hope my W has ended her dating lotsa young men. ---- Bdubs and AJ, yes I will stay on top of s13's schoolwork. But understand, last spring I would send W at least once a week a list of son's missing homework. And nothing ever got fixed. At least now I understand what I am dealing with, as far as understanding that W is in a MLC. I will not go thru this sort of anguish again. ---- Time for a new thread!
