Yesterday I made a list of about 50 GAL things that I could possibly do. I have to say I'm not really interested in some of them, but I was just brainstorming and wrote everything down. Still, there are plenty of interesting things on the list. I need to spend more time thinking about which ones I might choose and how to implement them.
H and I have MC later today, he asked for it, I think to get her input so we can finalize the separation agreement. He should know this morning whether the deal on the place he's looking at will go through or not, so maybe the timeframe will become clear. I feel very anxious about all this. In days past I have felt ready for him to go, but today I'm quite unsettled by it. Wish me luck, calmness, and clarity, friends.
Just because it hurts doesn't mean there isn't some good in it. Like disinfecting a wound before you stitch it up. I hope you get a lot out of the MC today and come away from it with some clarity. I'll be thinking of you.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Just because it hurts doesn't mean there isn't some good in it. Like disinfecting a wound before you stitch it up. I hope you get a lot out of the MC today and come away from it with some clarity. I'll be thinking of you.
Thank you Maybell. I feel like crying for the first time in weeks. I hate to cry at work, though......
You may want to check out Dr. Dobson's book "Love Must Be Tough". It's along the same lines as DB/DR and it's geared towards spouses dealing with affairs.
Btw - that ring on your finger is not just a covenant between you and your H, it's between you and God too. Even though your H may not be taking it seriously right now, I guarantee God is and will provide you comfort when you look to him for it. :-)
FunDad
Me:40 W:39 M:Dec 95 Split: Jul 14 W Filed: 9/16/14 Several Children (including adopted)
Btw - that ring on your finger is not just a covenant between you and your H, it's between you and God too.
You know, it's interesting you say that. Before our wedding, we had required sessions with the priest, and he made that point. About 15 years ago I found out that H had been exchanging racy emails and phone calls with one of my best friends who lived in another state. The thought that my wedding vows were actually made to God was what got me through that difficult time.
I took my wedding bands off in June the day H rolled in at 6:30am after having spent the night with OW. He had previously told me he had broken it off with her to work on M. I was up all night worried about him. I haven't worn them since.
Maybe you should put them back on? If he asks, you can tell him that you are serious about your commitment in marriage because it's not just about him and the ring comforts you as a reminder that God loves you both. He can give you strength.
This message on forgiveness will lift your spirits:
Hey, rp, good luck today. Be open about the appt, you never know what you might learn. If you go in with a certain expectation, that's probably what you'll get.
(( ))
And great work on the list. You can whittle it down. I went skydiving (indoor) with my sons and found out that' not on my list of things to do more of.
What's the first thing on the list that causes a bit of nervous excitement?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
What's the first thing on the list that causes a bit of nervous excitement?
Writing. I'm not sure what that means. Writing fiction or non-fiction, stories, poems, journaling. It's something that's been in the back of my head for a really long time.
One of my friends is a lawyer-turned best-selling thriller writer. After I read one of his books about CIA black sites and foreign porn rings, I felt very naïve. And very intimidated. I know I would have to find my own subjects, but I can't think of a single thing I know that would be interesting to anyone else. So maybe I'll start with journaling. ;-) But to turn that into an actual GAL, I realize I'd need to get out into the world and either take a workshop or join a writers' meet-up group, something that actually gets me out of the house. I've got this! ;-)
You know, one of the fun things I did a while back on my GAL track was to take a creative writing workshop. There is something that happens when you use the artistic side of your mind, it re-engages your brain in creating something vs living the pain.
Go for it. you'll love it.
Me: 35 Her: 33 D : 16 S : 9 Together: 14 years Married: 12 She left 4/14/2014 Separated: 5/25/2014 OM Confirmed 7/2014 She filed 8/7/2014 I Filed 10/21/2014 Divorce final 2/12/2015
Hey slow down. Take it one bite at a time. Or Bird by Bird (google that) All those things would be great but do them as you're ready.
I'm an introvert and if I only did GAL things that got me out of the house surrounded by strangers, I wouldn't GAL much. Create a mix that works for you.
(I have a job that gets me puuuhlenty of interaction with new people and a small group of longtime friends, I'm not a hermit)
I define GAL as things that make me feel more like me. Thinks that feed a passion, things I'm able to lose myself in.
Your GAL has to be about you.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
