Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 4 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 6 10 11
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
Originally Posted By: Cnfused
If they decide not to return as long as we've done the work we can move forward with dignity, respect and love for ourselves. But we must do the work to get there.

I know I don't want the woman my w has become. So I will have a new R - just not sure if is going to be with the new her or not at this point. One day they may come out of the fog.


Same here. I have seen my WW three times in the past three plus months. The first time was two days after she left. She was cold but her appearance was the same. The second time, she was still cold, but this time her appearance was darker. The third time, I could hardly recognize her. It actually felt bad being around her.

When we first met, she had a sparkle in her eye, and I even asked her if she was a Christian, because it seemed she had joy bubbling up inside. She was. Now, that sparkle is gone. It's very sad. So, I'd have to say also that I would not want the woman she has become to come back.


M 16 T 17
W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14
ILYBNIL 5/14
A discovered 6/14
D papers served via USPS 8/14
Filed my response 9/14
D final 5/15...
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
Originally Posted By: igit
It is crazy. My w was dropping kids off at christian school on way to other m house. Nice huh


Taking the kids to learn about the 10 Commandments while she goes off to break them.


M 16 T 17
W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14
ILYBNIL 5/14
A discovered 6/14
D papers served via USPS 8/14
Filed my response 9/14
D final 5/15...
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,685
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,685
Originally Posted By: nmwb123
Originally Posted By: igit
It is crazy. My w was dropping kids off at christian school on way to other m house. Nice huh


Taking the kids to learn about the 10 Commandments while she goes off to break them.


My H is in a Christian rock band and leads the worship at our church. Up front and center every Sunday. AND he bakes the communion bread also. I am fearful lightning will strike every single Sunday.

Last edited by rppfl; 09/12/14 12:53 PM.


"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
Originally Posted By: rppfl


My H is in a Christian rock band and leads the worship at our church. Up front and center every Sunday. AND he bakes the communion bread also. I am fearful lightning will strike every single Sunday.


Insanity! I will add you to my prayer list as well, rppfl! The Holy Spirit is convicting each of our spouses. They may be ignoring him right now, but they will not be able to do so forever.


M 16 T 17
W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14
ILYBNIL 5/14
A discovered 6/14
D papers served via USPS 8/14
Filed my response 9/14
D final 5/15...
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,685
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,685
Originally Posted By: nmwb123

Insanity! I will add you to my prayer list as well, rppfl! The Holy Spirit is convicting each of our spouses. They may be ignoring him right now, but they will not be able to do so forever.


Thank you, prayers are appreciated. I work for this church, so going elsewhere is not an option. And I'll get to deal with H on a weekly basis about church business no matter what happens, and I'll have to treat him just like any other parishioner. I didn't pray for patience but it's being taught to me nonetheless.



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 930
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 930
Just a friendly reminder to you guys. I know you are just speaking and venting here on the forum, but you have to be careful you do not use religious beliefs or morality as a tool to try and win back your spouse. Guilting them does not work. And even if you do not consciously do it, you may be doing it subconsciously.

Besides, everyone sins. And everyone can be forgiven smile


Me: 42
W: 32
Married 7 years together 8.5
S1: 7 S2:7
Bomb #1: 09-16-13
Recon #1: 11/13
A discovered 04-03-2014
W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me
I filed D 12-02-2014
S 05-31-14
Divorced 5-19-16
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,685
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,685
Originally Posted By: pilot
Just a friendly reminder to you guys. I know you are just speaking and venting here on the forum, but you have to be careful you do not use religious beliefs or morality as a tool to try and win back your spouse. Guilting them does not work. And even if you do not consciously do it, you may be doing it subconsciously.

Besides, everyone sins. And everyone can be forgiven smile


Point well taken, pilot. My faith is quite personal, and I can assure you it's not something that has ever come up in the context of what my spouse is doing except here on the forum. I do believe what he's doing is wrong for many reasons, some religious, some strictly moral (without a religious connotation), but I don't ever express that to him. He has to feel that for himself through his own filters, whatever they may be.

I sincerely apologize if I've offended anyone here.



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
I
igit Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
I
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 441
Hi Guys- I feel your pain. As Pilot says the shaming them wont work! I am in same camp as you guys! I pray for God to watch over her! Turn it over to him and let him work on her in his way and his time.Keep the faith!


M 54
W 48
T 19
M 17
D 12
Twin S 6
Twin S 6
Ilybnilwy 1/26/14
A discovered 2/3/14
D filed 7/25/14
Sumons served 8/14/14

Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
Unfortunately I did try to guilt my wife into returning. It didn't work. But I haven't talked to her since then, so I guess I'm letting go. I haven't pursued in more than a month. I realize now that she's going to have to work this out on her own, so all I can do is pray for her.


M 16 T 17
W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14
ILYBNIL 5/14
A discovered 6/14
D papers served via USPS 8/14
Filed my response 9/14
D final 5/15...
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 316
I say that I was guilting her, but I really wasn't. The questions I asked her were simply me trying to understand what was going on in her mind. I could not understand how she could ignore the Bible and do this despite her trying to live according to the Bible up until now. So I asked her questions about that, but she did not have answers.


M 16 T 17
W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14
ILYBNIL 5/14
A discovered 6/14
D papers served via USPS 8/14
Filed my response 9/14
D final 5/15...
Page 4 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 6 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard