Its just crazy how they can turn completely away from someone they have been with for so long. just venting I guess.
Crazy, indeed. Mind-boggling even. And why not talk things over rather than opting for an affair?
My H thinks "we did work on it" but in truth he only made passive-aggressive comments I was supposed to understand meant he had issues.
Even though he knows I'm ready, willing and able to fix things between us, it's just easier to screw someone else and then walk away.
I don't know if it's laziness, pessimism, being a "quitter" or what, but....
I'm starting to think those that are like the LBS -- those who see value in the R, in the WAS, and in love itself...are a different class of individual.
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
My WW said she "waited too long" to tell me she was unhappy, so it was just too late to do anything. In fact, I later discovered it wasn't too late, she'd just found someone new. She used to tell me lovingly that she wouldn't look for anyone new if I died. I guess she was telling the truth: she wasn't going to wait around for me to die!!
M 16 T 17 W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14 ILYBNIL 5/14 A discovered 6/14 D papers served via USPS 8/14 Filed my response 9/14 D final 5/15...
"Even though he knows I'm ready, willing and able to fix things between us, it's just easier to screw someone else and then walk away. "
This isn't true of the WAS. Just because the LBS decides to change, it doesn't mean that the WAS has an obligation to do so. In fact, in many cases, prior to a bomb drop, the WAS will leave little clues of their unhappiness. Sometimes they come out as seemingly "passive-aggressive" comments, or nagging. It's because they may not understand and can't express why they're unhappy.
Many LBS's are like that as well.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Pilot, not sure what w is feeling today. I didn't see her last night when I got home. I know she was shook up last night by her calls and then txt saying she was shook up. Today she called me on her lunch but I didn't answer, I was in a meeting. Lately she will call but not leave message. Anyway I did answer her call at 3 when she got off school, she asked me if I was picking up kids. I was 5 minutes from school and since I didn't here from her i wanted to get kids since D12 was home sick. D12 and I talked a few times today to make sure she was ok at home. Anyway when W got home at 430 I got in truck to head back to office. I was nice when she asked me where I was going. She then called me at 7pm to see where I was. I do think the LRT is helping me. She is acting like she thinks there maybe a LF. Let her thank what she wants. BOND had a comment about waw not really understanding what there unhappy about. I do think there is alot of truth to that. I don't want my w to think we will have a good friendship if D. It just won't be in my plan. Anyway just venting a little
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Vent away igit. And do not worry about not knowing how your W was feeling today. Odds are, you didnt really know yesterday or the day before either
Good to see you sticking to your guns. However, at some point, do you plan on answering a call, or maybe calling her back after a missed on? Just to show the path home still exists? I am not advocating, as i am not a pro by any means. Just asking if you had thought that far out on this...
Keep up the good work..
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Pilot, I do answer some calls , txt etc.. she knows that I don't want this. I am freindly, a super dad, a good neighbor, etc...just need to stay busy. It bugs her when she doesn't know where, or what I am doing. With her job she needs me to help with kids. It is so apparent, Tonight when I came home I asked her if she did there homework, she didn't know they had any? Hello mom anyone home? No biggie I have been doing it with them. Not sure if mom has energy to...I am just frustrated beyond frustrated.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
Pilot, I honestly think in her mind she thinks I will always be there to help w kids , sports, play date's , car pooling etc,, I have asked her numerous times for a schedule during the week for kids, homework, schedule picking uh p, dinner, etc.. I still haven't got one, I think I may send her one tomorrow by txt for remainder of week. Maybe put a smiley face on it to keep it light
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
So today D12 home again sick. I picked up kids from school and boys teacher stopped by car and told me boys homework is not getting done. I felt bad for boys. They looked sad. Anyway I went to office rt before w got home. She called and I told her about homework. I have been reading a book they have to read from school. School has website that has updates on homework . W and I went to parents day 3 weeks ago when teach er told us about site. W said she would handle. She has dropped ball for last 2 weeks. I didn't get mad just asked if she could put a schedule together. This along with numerous bad behavior slips. It's really bothering me. Anyway w came in my room tonight and thanked me. She didn't tell me what for. I assume d it was for helping w kids. Anyway I did tell her I was worried about boys. She thought it was gd boys were upset, her words, they will learn to ask to do homework. WHAT! 1st graders! Anyway she said something about me telling her to get a job. Like its my fault. I just let it roll off me.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
W called me today at work I haven't been to available but today returned her call. She wanted to help me at my office to get caught up with bookkeeping. She offered to come in office this weekend. Yesterday she told me she hated my office. I told her I would bring work home for her to do. I really want her to just straighten out things on books she is familiar with and then keep her out of my business. She suggested she help me find a replacement through her contacts at community college. Little does she know I hired a girl today part time. Wife also suggesting where to move my offices to. She has always been very controlling in our M. I have gone very dark recently starting no conversation s, not talking about anything other then kids when she ask. I am in my mind moving on with my life. I won't be there for her like she thinks. She fired me as a husband and until she changes herself and attitude I will treat it as it is. I guess I am venting there is alot of uncertainty with everything involved in a D with kids. I am sticking to my guns and not helping in anyway. There will be a hearing in a few weeks about mediation. I have agreed to that. However I will not compromise on bigger issues. Will not settle to make it easier on her. I am going to go darker the closer it gets to the start of legal process.
M 54 W 48 T 19 M 17 D 12 Twin S 6 Twin S 6 Ilybnilwy 1/26/14 A discovered 2/3/14 D filed 7/25/14 Sumons served 8/14/14
