Hey Claire, I've been a little self-absorbed lately, but it looks like a lot of people have got your back. I agree with what Ss said about reaching out to your friends. Because you are super-awesome!!!
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Maybell-- jeez Louise, I was totally thinking the same thing about you... Fighting off a cold and feeling drained, but have some thoughts I want to share with you, so I will try to get my fingers typing!
Don't overthink it. It's for her to share with her friends who her family is. Your little one is just going to be thrilled to see them up, even if they're not pictures of the family altogether. One of you & her and one of your H and her will be just as good as one of the three of you together. You're probably not the only family in this situation, either. When my kids were in pre-K a lot of times the parents didn't even make it on the board, just siblings or pets, because we don't always make it into the picture, do we?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Thanks so much for all the feedback about holiday schedules and Maybell, this advice re: the pictures was perfect. I really love this board.
I was thinking of asking him if there was a particular picture he wanted to use. I don't want it to seem like I'm being manipulative or trying to make him feel guilty. But at the same time, I don't want to absolve him of parental responsibility ("I'm the mom, so it's my job to do this kind of stuff, and he doesn't even need to think about it"), OR for him to see me as just taking control and shutting him out.
Overthink much, Claire?
How about this: Hey H, D3's teacher asked us to send in some pictures of S. I'd like to do that by Wednesday. I have a few pictures of you and D, but if you have a recent pictures that you'd particularly like to use, please drop off a picture-- ideally on Monday since we need to send it this week.
Me: 42 W: 32 Married 7 years together 8.5 S1: 7 S2:7 Bomb #1: 09-16-13 Recon #1: 11/13 A discovered 04-03-2014 W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me I filed D 12-02-2014 S 05-31-14 Divorced 5-19-16
Let's recap my week in DBing/kicking a $$ at life:
1) H was away all week. I was not feeling well. Yet i still took great care of D in her first full week of preK, and had a good week at work despite nightly wake ups (my own PLUS D's some nights!)
2) H requested yet more schedule changes. I acknowledged that travel and arranging schedule must be difficult, and that I know he would avoid the conflict if he could. (Huge 180 for me...to give him benefit of the doubt and not be resentful).
3) made a welcome back daddy sign for him with d. He hasn't acknowledged it and i haven't gotten upset about that.
4) trying to really take my coach's words to heart and shift my mindset... It must be hard for him when I act in new, better, unexpected ways. I complicate his WA narrative and make it harder for him to justify leaving me (as opposed to him thinking Divorce is easy and honky-dory for us both).
5) I think i am doing a decent job of setting boundaries while remaining detached yet "neighbor-friendly".
6) Getting used to not wearing my ring. Shared old dating stories with colleagues without breaking down.
7) Got through disappointing my mom over holiday fiasco ("oh, but I already invited your aunt and cousin!") She caught herself after that and didn't press it further, which I appreciate very much.
8) My MIL called me last night while I was out with friends to share a story about D3 (before her family bday dinner w/o me). I didn't drop everything to talk to her. Called her later.. told her I appreciate her sharing the story, and hoped she had a good celebration. No "miss you" or lingering goodbyes. Must complicate her narrative, too..though I'm not sure what hers is.
This cold is such a pain I actually busted out my neti pot today! Hopefully some rest will help. H agreed to keep D till after dinner tonight, so I will only have bedtime on my plate tonight.
