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I hear what you are saying edz. I had a buddy tell me yesterday that the easiest way to get over one woman is to get under another. I know he meant well, but what he said just tells me he has not heard a single word I have said to him.


M42 W40
T17
M15
S13 S11
BD 7-14
A discovered 7-14
WAW moved out 10-3-14
D final 2-23-15
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Originally Posted By: bdub
I hear what you are saying edz. I had a buddy tell me yesterday that the easiest way to get over one woman is to get under another. I know he meant well, but what he said just tells me he has not heard a single word I have said to him.


Hi bdub

yes, exactly. I guess it's not easy to understand how this all feels unless you're in it - and as I imagine we all did at one time or another its not something that will ever affect "your" relationship - until it does!

I think there's an element of bravado as well. Women who Ive spoken to do seem to understand better although then there's an element of either not understanding why talking wouldnt work, sadly my W doesnt seem as interested in talking as they think she should be!


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
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Well, the words I'd like to use would get censored so I'll settle on darn I suppose!

After setting up that money transfer Im still sorting out the mess that our DD's are in (found a DD running at £9 a month for something that was cancelled in 2011 - remains to be seen if I can get that back).

Meantime W hasnt cancelled a £90 DD to her CC so her bank transfer went over and then another £90 to her credit card.

Stomped around the room a few times, calmed down then sent a calm email. Said I know she's busy with HE (actually she's unschooling at the moment which is practically not educating at all and just treating S to days out instead) but I have to raise this with her as the bank wont tollerate both coming out and I need to balance things the best I can. That I really dont want to raise these kind of things or make these decisions and that this is not what I want but Im trying to work out a way to make sure I can respect her decisions.

Now I'm torn in that 1. I'm mad she didnt sort this, she's had 2 months and I told her this was her CC last month and even found the card so she could ring them 2. Worried that Im now hurting for money this month (or will be) and 3. Trying not to mind read and worry that she's going to go into a new funk (after emerging slightly) after I contacted her on this.

After already feeling down yesterday and today I now feel 100 times worse. There are days I just feel like walking into the sea, this is now officially one of them.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
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Well looks like the rubber band snapped on the forum there (site migration?) Just to close out the day W hasn't responded or contacted me including on Facebook despite being online (according to Facebook status) so looks like she's back in the funk big time. Oh goodie.....


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Sep 2014
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Edz
Sometimes I wish Facebook was never invented .
For about 2 weeks I haven't used the chat thing on Facebook to see when my WAW was last online . Tell you it feels good not thinking why she is online at gone midnight and wondering who she was talking to .
Both my kids have taken a massive step back from Facebook also .
So maybe to stop yourself from thinking to much about those online statuses etc try and cut back on checking Facebook.
Facebook can be a good thing but it can also be a bad thing . Just think about Jeremy kyle if you ever watch it . I think he face palms himself most times when Facebook gets mentioned lol.

You been swimming again as think you need to break the 80 lengths record .

Pulled my calf at circuits last night but did that stop me nope I was so determined to carry on but missed out the shuttle runs .

I walk my dogs down the park with the ark so if you ever feel like a chat or a cuppe just say might even buy you a mister whippy ice cream


Me 40
W 37
Together 22 years
S18
D12
WaW 12/08/14 after affair exposed , suspected for several months
W returned home for 2 weeks to see if can handle family life
After the 2 weeks she has left .
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Hi South

Well may take you up on the ice cream, off swimming tomorrow night then Sunday if I dont have S.

Facebook has never really been a draw for me and I know what you mean on checking and thinking what is W posting but mostly manage to resist. Still have Ws passwords so could go mega snooping if I chose (as far as I know she hasnt changed them as she came to me a few weeks back when she changed her phone PIN and forgot it, I unlocked it for her using online services) but really what good would it do me. She's not in antarctica, she could call me or come round in under 5 minutes she chooses not to, yes she's busy with S on unschooling but thats all choice, she's making busy work right now, money problems are about to hit her worse than me and Im trying to help her get ready but ultimately if she ignores me I'll just kill the DDs and she wont be renting anywhere with a bad credit reference in the UK - I dont want that to happen but if she ignores me not a lot I can do, hurts so much that the woman I spent my life with for 15 years has become this other person who is so irrational and blanking me though, I feel like its just a long lasting punishment with no escape. I can detatch and GAL but ultimately it still means not being with the person I want to be with.

Anyway, back to work. Cheers South.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
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Not sure if I missed it, but have you read DB or DR?


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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edz Offline OP
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Hi

I've read DB not DR, Im ordering it though since I think I could do with any more information I can get.


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline OP
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And this morning I get 3 texts and a phone call asking me a couple of technical questions and mentioning she's coming around later. I'm guessing thats to pick up stuff as today is the last day she's on the tennancy but who knows whats going on?

No expectations (well maybe girding myself for something bad - seems to be the theme of the week)

Ed


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,942
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edz Offline OP
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PMA and I'm already tidy and clean anyway as I work better that way even working from home - no jimmyjams here!


M:44, W:46, S:10
M 13 years, T 15
BD:23/7/2014
W/S Moved to MIL: 23/7/2014
My new place: 21/11/2014
W/S back to flat 22/11/2014
W coming closer, talking 4/2015
Piecing 5/2015
Moving in again 6/2015
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