Advice with WAW

[Dpthght]

Mr. Bond,

Yes I have

[MrBond]

Okay, so in what ways have YOU changed?

[Card29]

Dpthght, your situation is so similar to mine. My WAW suffers from depression. I have been trying to get her to be more social for a few years. She started an EMBA program in March and began spending lots of time with a group of students there (originally for projects). She went on an International Seminar trip to Paris for 2 weeks, had an "awakening" and dropped the bomb on me when she got back. I'm DBing as best as I can and hoping she will eventually come out of the fog, and realize that she does love me, or at least had for years (she currently denies she ever did) and that she can feel like that with me again. So far I have had some micro victories, so I'm trying to stick to it (detach, GAL, 180, no expectations, give her space, be a friend) while keeping an eye out for the next microgoals.

Hang in there and DB as much as you can.

[Dpthght]

Bond, current things I am doing.

Making sure the house is immaculate (indoors and outdoors)
Doing a cornhole league on Thursdays
Been working out 1-2 hours per day and taking up new active hobbies I haven't done before
started reading again
started cross-stitching again
eating better
I haven't initiated any contact with W unless she does it first (been going almost three weeks on that)
Giving her space and when I see her all I do is listen as a friend would
I am not giving her info on what I am doing besides vague references
Overall just been trying to find who I was before things went wrong

Card, sorry to hear that, I wish you nothing but the best

[Dpthght]

Well it was a crap day. Garage door broke and had to get that fixed. Had to tell the W about that and made a joke about user error (long story) and she got a kick out of it. Then scheduled an appt and made a joke about it being better than the cable company. She made a joke back with a South Park reference (our favorite show) which made me lol. Everything got fixed and texted her all is fixed with a joke about the user error again and she was loling big time. All of that was good but I so wanted to ask her how she was but I didn't. Not talking to her or seeing gear is killing me.

Sorry for the rant just needed to share that. Again I thank you all for everything.

[Dpthght]

Well I signed up for Pintrest today to start getting some ideas on decorating. I looked at my W account to see what kind of ideas she had (she is really really good at this kind of thing) and I saw a pin buried in a category that had a picture of Ace Ventura going "Alrighty Then" with the subcaption of "When your crush won't text you back"

Why would she leave something like that for the whole world to see? Do I even bring it up to her at this point? Granted I know about the OM but she doesn't know that I know so I am kind of at a loss on this one.

Thanks guys

[Cnfused]

Would bringing it up make her feel closer to you?

[Dpthght]

No it wouldn't Cnfused, I just really wish she would admit it, but that probably will never happen. Just frustrating is all, especially when she leaves it out there for the whole world to see.

[Dpthght]

Well here is the latest and greatest.

W is still moving forward with the D. She is pressuring me to make a decision on the house to either try and sell it or keep it for myself. She is getting all of her statements together and I am doing the same. When she comes over she is all business and never brings up anything regarding our R, nor do I.

I have been trying to detach, only talking to her when she speaks with me and I listen way more than I talk. She seems hell bent on getting this over with ASAP and doesn't want to move forward just move on. Looks like she isn't moving back in at all at this point and is ready to find her own place.

Overall I am ok, taking it hour by hour (sometimes minute by minute). I have been GAL and trying various things to figure out what I enjoy doing. I am just lost.

[Dpthght]

Well I spoke with my attorney and a mortgage person. Looks like I will be able to keep the house (with forgoing my interest in her retirement) which is a great thing. Overall I won't have to come out of pocket very much which is good

W is supposed to come over tomorrow to discuss everything, she is really pushing to get the divorce finalized. When she is there I will tell her what both of them have said.

My question to the vets, obviously I don't want this and she REALLY wants to get this over with. There are things that we haven't discussed at all. I don't want to bring them up because I am trying to detach from it, but how do I let her know it's not too late to save this? I am sure people will say don't bring it up but I need some advice on this.

Thanks