OK, this is too good. In today's Time website, it has an article on finding one's "soulmate". The odds are pretty long. Here is a portion:
"...For example, say a bachelorette enters a room of 100 male bachelors who represent the broader U.S population. If she prefers a partner who is tall (at least 6-foot), then her pool of possible prospects immediately shrinks to 20. If she would like him to be fairly attractive and earn a comfortable income (over $87,000 annually), then she’s down to a single prospect out of 100.
If you choose to specify further traits, such as kindness, intelligence or a particular religious or political affiliation, well, let’s just say we’re going to need a much bigger room. And then, of course, there’s the small matter of whether he actually likes you back."
Check it out if you want some encouragement today for those WAS's not ever finding their dream person.
Well, this was different. W is feeling stress on her finances and became snarky towards me. From the beginning, it is s12's birthday on Sept. 2nd. W called me and asked if I would celebrate his b-day this weekend when I had him, just the 2 of us. I said ok, and then she would take him on Monday to her family get together. I told her this sounds fine.
20 seconds later she asked me if we should go together to the State Fair this weekend (a big deal here in Minnesota) to celebrate s12's birthday. What? I told her to let me think about it.
I asked her how her photo shoot on Wednesday night went, and ohhh the venom came out: it was an on-location senior high school photo shoot, and the girl was 2 hours late! So it was too late for the photos because they only had 15 minutes of sunlight (me: that must be so frustrating, her yes!) And the girl's mother didn't pay the $300 W asked for because the mother thought the photo shoot was free (girl's mother did a small favor for W 2 years ago, and W said it would be free, and told her again it would be free last spring. W didn't understand the confusion, that was last spring, I could have used the photos to draw other seniors as an advertisement.) Aye! But I was calm and gave her supportive comments.
Then she told me that I had to take s12 to buy his school supplies, which she normally does. I told her to let me think about it. W only has $40, and my child support payment is "late". I corrected her the payment is not late. The county had not sent it to her yet. And this made her mad, and said "then he just won't have supplies on the first day of school." W snapped at me then hung up angrily. She is obviously feeling the stress of not having steady income, and being responsible for her own place all by herself. But she has not come after me before on the stress of her finances issue.
Yes, I will take s12 to get his supplies this weekend. I plan on playing putt-putt with him, going to the movies, and getting him 'Madden 15' for his PlayStation. I'm looking forward to this weekend. But we'll see how it goes.
Sounds like your wife's lifestyle is catching up to her in a big way, Wet. Be prepared for a lot more angst coming your way. If you do manage to land a better job sometime soon (and my fingers are crossed for you!), be prepared for her to get even worse (and possibly even alternate between being extra friendly and asking you to help her buy things, and getting really pissy at you whenever you spend some of your newly found extra income on yourself).
When I was working, and making more than my wife, she saw me coming home (we live in the same building complex) with some minor things for my apartment (a pillow, bath mats, etc), and she completely blew her top at me. She expected me to go without so that she could fund her hobbies and keep her car tuned up. That really shocked me, especially because I had told her a few days before that I would help her out next payday.
So, yeah, I would expect those phone calls to become more frequent, and more hostile, for the next little while.
Me: 31 W: 31 T: 10 years CL: 7 years IDLY: 01/13 Sep: 07/13 I Moved out: 10/13 W Currently seeing OM Pets, but No Children
Thanks for the warning Spacey. My W's anger is something new in our R, as even during our worst times we remained at least civil.
So I text W to ask if I can pick up s12 at 1 pm. She says no, she won't be home until 2 pm, so I go over at 2. She is not at her condo, but beeps me in and I go up to find s12 still sleeping (school is going to be hard on you Mr. Sleepyhead, when you have to wake up at 6 am).
So I had the chance to snoop at W's condo, all alone, as I saw her Ipad laying there in plain sight. But I didn't (Yay Wet!, 9 days without snooping) The only things I saw laying out made me really sad - she has pain pills, a book on remedies for fibromyalgia, and medicinal pads to help with pain relief. I just wish I could be there for her to give her a massage to help her with this. I know, sometimes I make fun of my W and the decisions she made/is making, but it was a good reminder that there is a real person there who is in a lot of physical and emotional pain. And who needs help.
It does bring you back to reality when you get those glimpses of your s. You are so upset with them for the pain they have caused you, and then bam! You realize they too are in pain and suffering.
I hope she is able to get through this, for all of you.
Atsbaby M:36 H:35 T: 19 M:12 S:11 D:9 BD: 5/4/14 Proof of OW 8/13/14-love note from her 8/19 admits OW 8/22/14 files D w/o telling me 9/20/14 Says he wants to reconcile
Fibromyalgia? Is that something she had been formally diagnosed with before she moved out? Or is there a chance that that's a self-diagnosis? Because that immediately stands out to me.
How familiar are you with the symptoms of depression? Because unexplained aches and pains is a common one, which could lead to a miss-self-diagnoses by someone who's unwilling to acknowledge that they're fighting depression.
I know that depression is thought to be one of the big underlying issues with MLCs, so that isn't surprising, but the snapping at you and aches and pains are classic symptoms of depression that I haven't yet seen really discussed in the context of a MLC, so this is an interesting discovery.
Me: 31 W: 31 T: 10 years CL: 7 years IDLY: 01/13 Sep: 07/13 I Moved out: 10/13 W Currently seeing OM Pets, but No Children
Yeah, the fibromyalgia thing is weird. W blames me for it. Before s12 was born, I wanted one more child, and W did not. She eventually agreed but the child birth was hard. Her pain block given in her spine was mangled, her spine area was punctured over and over, and ever since she has had fibromyalgia. But because I wanted s12, it was my fault.
W has been on anti-depressant medication for the past 10 years to treat it. I always thought it was to help with the pain, but perhaps it was depression related. I don't know. I have never thought of my W as depressed.
During our marriage I regularly gave W back rubs and massages to help her with her pain. But for some reason yesterday seeing that she is in such pain, brought up a trigger of pain for me, because of a flash back when I snooped her phone on July 9th - a text where she traded with some punk her "sexy" picture in exchange for a back rub. Why won't she just call me for a back rub? It should be me, it should be me...
