So my class that is Monday and Wednesday will only meet on Wednesdays. She gave us today off, thank God cause I cannot concentrate worth anything today.
I GALed while Clark stayed with the kids. He's really trying to suck up. He was nice and talkative telling me how he helped d clean her room and helped s with homework and blah, blah, blah, blah.
I don't give a rats @$$ if you saved a person from a flaming building. You are the last person I want anything to do with right now.
"I still want to be friends."
Really? Cause every friend I have doesn't stab me in the back repeatedly and lie to my face and expect me to trust them afterwards....such an @$$HAT!!!!!
Atsbaby M:36 H:35 T: 19 M:12 S:11 D:9 BD: 5/4/14 Proof of OW 8/13/14-love note from her 8/19 admits OW 8/22/14 files D w/o telling me 9/20/14 Says he wants to reconcile
Try to stay in the moment...Just this one moment. Then, the next.
Breathe and focus on what happening right in the moment. What sounds you hear, listen to your breathing...push the bad thoughts and fears of the future away. You have no idea what will happen. Just stay in the moment.
You aren't alone and there are many who have walked this path before you. Trust them.
You can handle this. :-)
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
Have you asked for space? Have you said that you feel very wronged and just up and being friends feels like your perspective isn't being honored at all. Would it be a horrible idea to express that sentiment in a kind and loving way. Tell him you appreciate him being a good daddy but as far as being buddies, it's just a big thing to ask of you right now.
Thank you Lois. I asked him why he didn't tell me and his answer was because you don't want to talk about D stuff. "Talk about" no I don't want to but a sentence, I decide to file and my Atty put in the motion today. Heads up would have been nice.
Its so discouraging because in KY is no fault and only a 60 day wait period. I'm sure we'll move slower since I'm not giving 50/50 until he has a place to live, and my Atty says it will take Clark a while to prove he is responsible enough to get it.
Ss, I've not asked for space, but its really hard when your kids are involved in sports. I see Clark at least 4 x a week just in regards to s football. I also don't want to deny Clark his kids. They need him and what little bit he actually does step up to, they need.
On a plus, I got some cute new clothes last night and when I really begin transforming myself, Clark will be beside himself! I'm glad to be out of limbo, but hate the direction we are headed. Here I come 180's!!!
Last edited by Atsbaby; 08/28/1412:02 PM.
Atsbaby M:36 H:35 T: 19 M:12 S:11 D:9 BD: 5/4/14 Proof of OW 8/13/14-love note from her 8/19 admits OW 8/22/14 files D w/o telling me 9/20/14 Says he wants to reconcile
Take care of yourself today. Put your needs first. Don't diminish what you are experiencing. The grief and pain is real and deserves your full compassion.
What do you need to take of YOU today?? Pamper yourself and reassure yourself that YOU will be OK...anytime, you feel that fear and doubt creeping in...STOP! Tell yourself, "I can handle this. I will be ok. I'm not alone."
You're stepping out onto nothing right now. You can do it. Plow through, trust the grief process. Whatever you are feeling is OK.
:-)
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time. That's terrible that you were blindsided although when folks are in crisis they aren't particularly trustworthy.
First, I bet you look super cute in your new clothes. Good for you!
In regards to the friend bit, that's just to make himself feel better. Personally I wouldn't even respond to that as there is really nothing to say. (Internal thought) we all know you wouldn't actively seek out a friendship with a disrespectful liar. There's no other "fluffy" way of saying that. My stbx told his new friends we got divorced back in May. Honesty and reality are not his strong suits either:-)
I know it's difficult although keep the focus on you and the little peeps. Hang in there:-)
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 08/28/1402:46 PM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
@ATS Stay strong, stay focused on you. Limit your time with your H if may help with the emotions. Even at S football practice and or games, try to sit elsewhere or walk around the field until you feel strong enough to sit with your H as his friend.
Tell him that right now you dont want to be friends (if that is how you feel) tell him you want to only be coparents.
Good job on the new clothes, working on the new you. Pick the clothes for you to feel better about you, not for your H to notice you. H notcing you will just be icing on the cake, but do all your changes for you!
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
So sorry to hear about this Ats, If it helps when my W filed it was just like the way your H did. It was less than a week after a long R talk where she said she wasn't going to file, that separation was as far as she wanted to go, not going to lawyer, etc. Next thing I know she not only saw a lawyer, she hired him and filed! And yes, I got the "friends" thing and her acting oddly nice the fews days before I found out. It's all part of the script. I know that it doesn't really help to know that but you aren't alone. You will get through this Ats. You will be OK and so will the kids. Be careful and don't allow H to take advantage since you still really do care.
Thank you everyone. I do need the support and advice! I appreciate you guys so much. We will all get through this one way or another.
So I really have to vent since I have found out more sh** ! I feel if I get it out here, it won't be reflected towards Clark the @$$hat!
Yesterday at work I get an email asking about the weekend and how Clark wants to take kids Sunday and split Monday "I'll get them midday and return around 4."
Um...NO. I responded with "we'll discuss later." So last night Clark asked about it and I said I didn't know yet, but it was a little unfair of him to take the kids from 10-4. His response was "I would get them for 6 hours and then you'd have them from 4-10."
Hello! School night!! They will be in bed by 8:30. Plus the time I get with them is making them breakfast and dinner. How the heck do I spend time with them? Oh that's right, it all about the lack of responsibility. Sorry forgot Clark!
Anyways, tonight I suggested we split Sunday and he has them all day Monday. He gave me a confused look and said when do you want them back. I'm not sure. He knows a friend will be in town and her and I will be hanging out. But this is the problem, I probably won't see her until evening, so he says, well I have plans.
Right, responsibility, my bad Clark! He says don't worry about it. I'll make it work. I finally click 2+2= busted!!!
Before this whole bd crap, we were buying the local university season football tickets from his parents. I'm a HUGE fan. Well @$$hat went a head with buying them and has lied to my face multiple times about them. I'm so pi$$ed!
So he did admit to "splitting" them. Not sure if this is true or not...going with not. I think he bought them all not splitting. Can take ow so I can't catch them together. Anyways, his mom kinda gave him away tonight at s football game, which is how I figured it out.
I know I need to let this go, which is why I'm here...I'm so emotional now and it bothers me.
I'm retaining my atty tomorrow and hopefully can get some of this stuff locked down with temporary orders. I need time away from him and I'm trying desperately to figure out how. Clark chooses to sit next to me at s football stuff, but you're right 2B, I need to get up and walk away. I'm NOT in a place to be friends. I really want my M to be reconciled, but I need my sanity first (plus the man Clark is now, is not the man I want).
And yes, my clothes are for me. They are actually for work, and they make me proud of my self again
Last edited by Atsbaby; 08/29/1403:30 AM.
Atsbaby M:36 H:35 T: 19 M:12 S:11 D:9 BD: 5/4/14 Proof of OW 8/13/14-love note from her 8/19 admits OW 8/22/14 files D w/o telling me 9/20/14 Says he wants to reconcile
Atsbaby, I didn't realize you were through with the old thread and posted on it! Sorry!
He is acting in such a cowardly way. That's awful about how he filed... and then pow, the football tickets...
If I could, I'd give you a big HUG.
M:54, H:55 T:33, M:27 12/13 BD: EA 01/14 BD: PA, H leaves 03/14 H & OW break up 05/14 H says he will file for D 08/14 H initiates D 09/14 H wants to R 12/14 Still bungling our way through R
