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Joined: Dec 2013
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W called friday. She made arrangements to moveher things Saturday. She came and mived them. The exchange was peaceful. She came and boxed up her remaining items. I worked on yard work outside quietly and left her to it. She had a truck and some friends arrive later to take her larger items. All done within a few hours. My kids were around and just stayed to themselves during this time. S12 Went to the park to rollerskate during most of this time or quietly spent time in his room.

I have an emptier bedroom, dining room and living room now. I told the kids we will work to replace what she moved out today in the next few months. They are going to shop wuth me to help me design a space we all enjoy.


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,922
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Hi Paul,

I think it's great that you are letting the kids help create a space that all of you enjoy. You can create your own little family oasis:-) Glad the exchange with your W was pleasant.



3 kids
BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. )
Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style
D final 9-9-14
"Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
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Paul, I was just thinking about you yesterday!

I'm sure the house feels a little empty and it must be stirring up some feelings. This, too shall pass brother!

Make the space your own! You got this!


Me: 39
H: 45
Second marriage for both
H left 12/2013
M:4 T:5.5
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Posts: 1,593
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Hi Paul, just checking in on you. You sound like you are doing well.

How is your D doing?


me: 44 XH: 42
M 11 years
D10 and S8
Bomb drop 9/27/13
D final 7/1/14
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Thanks GB! HI artsy! Thanks for checking in. I don't log in much these days. Hi M! Its been a long time since i have seen posts for you. How are you? D16 is continuing to heal. She tried a new job out but it was very physical and she could not do the work so she gave the job up.

I changed where my paycheck goes effective july 3. Haven't told W yet but I will later this week. I am nervous about my finances but it will be ok. I just need to get there.

W contnues to drag her feet about the D. We will get there eventually. a mutual friend mentioned that W said she has no idea why things are the way they are now or how her life gor to this place it is in now. I don't understand that comment. In her view everything was just fine the way it was.

My new friend and i continue to do well. I am learning from her. My kids see a version of me they never really knew before and they like it.


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 883
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W finally hired a L. We are now moving forward. I continue to press forward with changes for me and the kids


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 511
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Hey Paul great to see you are doing well!!


Me 47/W 34
T 16 M 13
No kids
BD 6/2013
W asked that I move out 6/2013
I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013
separate beds not much talking
Served D Complaint 5/2014
W moved out 9/27/2014
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Custody part is now done. Property division is next. We almost done. Its been quiet anf respectful. She doesn't want to fight and neither do I. She told.me she just felt we made each other sick and shr couldnt do it anymore. I told her i didnt feel we needed to take our marriage down this path, but i respected that she felt trapped in our life.

I felt that i should have been able to protect us from this..i just couldnt do it slone. I am happy now, but shared that this process has left a mark on me. She agreed. I wished her well.

Shr had a BF but they broke up. I am still seeing someone and i am enjoying thhat. Still this process hurt, regardless of any other good things that are happening. I hope to forgive myself someday. Its a daily process of letting go.

We will find our way...i just don't kow what thst will look likenin the future. Respect and freedom from our bond was.all i had left to give W. She appreciated that.


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 9,676
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Hi Paul, I posted here but it must have gotten pruned in the recent upgrade.

Just saying Hi.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Hi Bug! More tears lately (just privately working through this) my GF has been very kind and respectful about the process...she has also been through it...I missed hearing from you these past weeks...there just wasnt much to update...

this process, regardless of good things that may follow, just hurts. I have the things I wanted now. I plan to make the most of the gift. The price was very steep.


me: 47, W:49
M 16.5 years
T 17 years
Three kids - D17,D14, S13
Heart 2 heart about M 11/8/13
Bomb drop 11/29/13
W moved out 12/5/13
I Retained L 2/20/14
D filed 3/17/14
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