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ItHurts Offline OP
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Thanks pilot! At least I have much more time than I originally thought. Even if she does go to FL she will have been there a full month by then and maybe she will decide to come back home by then. Some people tell me that they don't think she'll even wind up going but that goes in one ear and out the other because vets here told me to NEVER listen to friends words. So I pay them no mind. Just glad I have a little over 2 months still...kind of a relief to see something official like that. I am a little surprised WAW didn't contact me about that form as I'm sure she got one too...but mine only came yesterday and maybe she hasn't gotten hers yet.
Thanks again for the well-wishes Pilot, I am not too hopeful at all sadly but I guess you never know what the future could bring. I never would've thought she'd ever be in bed with me again and that shocked the heck out of me so who knows? Life is full of surprises at times I guess. Hope all is going as well as can be expected in your sitch Pilot.


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 736
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Good morning. Okay before I reply I want to check in here...got a text from WAW this morning. She told me she has given her notice at her job and her last day is in mid-September. Her move to FL is the end of September. How and when should I reply? She sent it about a half hour ago.


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
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Posts: 2,877
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Did she ask a question? If not, no reply is really needed.


Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
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Happiness is a warm puppy.
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^^ agree!

I understand if this seems hard but IMHO it is (still) the way you need to go.
Remember that DBing is counter-intuitive


Me:44 W:43
D7, D5 (S11 from other R)

T: 8y - not M
ILYB: 8. Mar 2013
W moved: 1. Aug 2013
LRT: 20. Aug 2013
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Well she didn't ask a question but I was on her medical insurance plan and she kept me on there but since she is quitting her job to move to FL she wanted to let me know that I won't be covered soon. So it's kind of a courtesy that I reply since she was nice enough to keep me covered in spite of our divorce. I hate to just ignore the message because she really didn't have to do that...she could've told me to screw off and get my own insurance but she didn't.

Here's her e-mail...

Hi IH,

Hope this message greets you with a smile. I gave my notice at work. My last day will be September 19th. You will have insurance up to that point. After that date at midnight we will no longer have health insurance.
Please look into how to get yourself insured. I love you and hope you are doing well.
Best Always,
WAW


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 930
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Not a bad email. It had positives. Nothing you can do really except let her do her own thing.


Me: 42
W: 32
Married 7 years together 8.5
S1: 7 S2:7
Bomb #1: 09-16-13
Recon #1: 11/13
A discovered 04-03-2014
W filed D 05-19-14 but never served me
I filed D 12-02-2014
S 05-31-14
Divorced 5-19-16
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Yes Pilot we've been getting along great. It seems a lot of the actual marriage problems have taken a back seat with us. We both have broke it down every which way and we both know where we messed up. So I find that we really don't talk about that stuff much anymore when we do talk so we don't argue. I thought it was a very cordial and considerate e-mail on her part as well. That's all I can do, let her do what she is going to do and pretend to be supportive of this decision. How she's moving down there with no job lined up I have no idea but I guess she has some kind of a plan.

Last edited by ItHurts; 08/28/14 10:08 PM.

ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 736
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Okay guys I really need some advice here. I decided to reply to WAW yesterday since it was such a considerate e-mail she sent about the insurance coverage. I kept it simple, just thanked her for the heads up and thanked her for keeping me covered for the past couple months. Then I wished her a good night. It was only two sentences. Well a few minutes ago she replied back and asked me if she is going to see me one more time before she leaves or if that was a bad idea. How do I answer this?


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 288
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Of course you should see her.

Confident, calm, emotionally stable. Happy for her.

Laugh, have fun with this and lighten up and stay light....
No biggie... Mature men handle these things calmly and keep their emotions in check. Women are attracted to emotionally strong men. Be that man...... She doesn't need to see you breaking down over this. If you stay strong, I would bet she will get a little emotional right near the date of her leaving. Stay strong for HER....(and it would be good for you too)

Let her go as if you are just as happy either way. Life is good and you are going somewhere with it....

Just tell her..

"Of course we should see each other one more time.
How about I take you out to (name her favorite place to eat)
on (name a date and time)before your big adventure into the unknown?"
(or something to that effect in your own words)

Decisive, confident, cool and stable and yet keeping it light and fun.....

Then do exactly that....


Justin Credible
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Okay for now to buy me some time before I answer WAW, I just told her I was driving and can't text now. I will wait to hear what you all think I should do before I give her a proper answer to her question.


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
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