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labug #2483632 08/31/14 04:38 PM
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Maybell Offline OP
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Would it be wrong to invite H to bring the kids back early so we can grill out before he flies away?


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
labug #2483633 08/31/14 04:38 PM
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My thoughts always goes back to:
is she really working to fix things internally?
is she just 30 seconds from getting there and I have just pushed too early?

Sounds weak - I know.


Me-45 W-44
S21, S18, D15
T-27, M-21
BD Jan 2014
PA revealed March 2014
In-house separation - April 2015
I filed - Aug 2015
She moved out Oct 2015
Maybell #2483634 08/31/14 04:40 PM
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Originally Posted By: Maybell
Would it be wrong to invite H to bring the kids back early so we can grill out before he flies away?


No, as long as you don't get caught up in his response. wink


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
labug #2483635 08/31/14 04:44 PM
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Maybell Offline OP
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smile thanks!


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
Maybell #2483724 09/01/14 12:09 AM
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Maybell Offline OP
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Can somebody explain why it's so hard for me to reach out with an invite to me H? He's said he wants one. I have one in mind. And I'm afraid to execute.

I know why I find it hard. I guess I just hope someone's got a spine to loan. I'll give it right back! smile


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
Maybell #2483731 09/01/14 12:30 AM
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Why? Because you're afraid to look vulnerable. The truth is, you can invite him without being actually vulnerable. This is how I do it.

I mentally prepare myself for a NO. How would that feel? Are you worried about how you'd look? Rejected? Like he has all the power? Like you're left behind again? Maybe... BUT here's the thing, it's JUST an invite. How would you feel if you invited a friend over and they said, "oh thank you so much but tonight is not a good night". You'd say, "Oh no big deal, another time perhaps. Done.

Here's how you make it so you are prepared for that. Have a back up plan! Before you ask H call a friend and say, "I'm inviting H to do something but I'm finding it hard. If he says No, are you available for a glass of wine so I can not feel like a rejected loser sitting at home on the couch after my H just said No?" If H says yes, you're off the hook until Tuesday (or whatever) and the drink is on me!"

Now you have a back up plan. So what's the worst that can happen? He says Yes, you're good. He says No, you're good, too.

Now make the call!

How's that for a realistic spine lending?


M: 37 H: 36
M: 13 T: 18
D: 7
Bomb: 6/30/14
Separation: 8/11/14

Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.
Maybell #2483732 09/01/14 12:30 AM
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No expectations.
Think through what you will say if he says yes...and if he says no.
You got this one, Maybell!


Me 38 H 40
D 3
T 8 M 6
BD 10/2013

claire7 #2483736 09/01/14 12:42 AM
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Maybell Offline OP
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I invited him to come grill at the house and he turned it into bowling (both with kids).

I didn't drag out the exchange but he sent me one to thank me for offering.

All I have to do now is look fantastic and be ready to smile. Decent bowling wouldn't hurt.

Thanks for the spines!!


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
Maybell #2483744 09/01/14 12:54 AM
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Woo hoo! You did it!! And it turned out well! Bowling is a GREAT way to be playful and fun (flirty?), have a blast with the kids and to cheer him on a bit (encouraging him to cheer you on!).

Spray purfume on the bottom part of your hair so that when it moves it'll smell amazing.

You SO got this, Maybell!!!

No expectations except FUN and smiles!


M: 37 H: 36
M: 13 T: 18
D: 7
Bomb: 6/30/14
Separation: 8/11/14

Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.
Ss06 #2483745 09/01/14 12:57 AM
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Maybell Offline OP
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Ooh, thanks for the perfume tip. I bought a new one after he left that I really like. smile

Bowling was something we always enjoyed together. Better than grilling. Should be fun!


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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