Maybell, I was excited to check in today to see how your lunch went. I'm so glad it was positive - and even better, it sounds like it was positive for both of you. I think you are doing great. Keep up the momentum.
Hi Maybell! Glad your lunch went well and you seem to be in a positive place mentally. Good for you! And great that he enjoyed it too and said he would continue to ask you out. That is a big deal!
I liked what you wrote about the moments of connection. I had that with my H yesterday when he came by. There were these few split second moments where we were both laughing and we looked at each other and it was like back in the old days. But then we looked away or it passed... but as someone said, those moments are what makes it possible to build a new relationship.
I think it is funny that we often see each other's threads and stories and say things like "Oh wow! You are so lucky! I wish my WAS would ask me out and say he will keep doing so." (that's what I am thinking here btw) But then in our own story we see a lot of negative and the positives are not good enough for us. It sounds like things are on the positive side in your story. Congrats!
I also wanted to say that GGG's post also resonated with me. Who is this crazy jerk who replaced my loving H? And why doesn't he see the reality that nothing is perfect and everything takes work sometimes?
Good luck Maybell! And go get that new washer and dryer!
This is mind-reading but it's pretty well documented around here by those who've had affairs... your H will have guilt (whether he ever admits it or not)because of the OW. Add that to the equation when you think about figuring all this out.
When will you ask him out?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I have a coaching appointment this morning so I'll discuss with Chuck but I was thinking I would invite him out after the next time he invites me out. He has another international trip next week.
However, there is something I really want to do that I think he would enjoy so I was contemplating inviting him to join me. The downside is that it's a LONG outing and I'm not sure that would be a good first invitation. It's date limited so it's do it or lose it.
In what way should I add guilt to the equation? I mean, how should I factor it in?
BTW, I did something really nice... had the kids call his mother for her birthday. Can't remember if I mentioned that before. Everybody seemed very surprised and pleased I made that gesture. I never got credit before for the efforts I made to support the kids' relationship with his family.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Those little moments are priceless....So glad you had one. And I totally get what you mean about how you married him for life and you can't imagine anyone else in that role...
Had a great conversation with my brother today. He has been feeling stressed at work and was venting his problems to me and how much pressure he was feeling and it suddenly dawned on me a lot of what my H had been feeling that he never shared. I said that to my brother and how much it meant to me that he was sharing wih me and that he should share this stuff with his wife.
He said no, because she worries so much it would just make home that much more difficult for him. I know my sister in law (different than the one I spent the week with) and this is true. It is also what my H said about sharing his worries with me. And looking back, I can see that he was right about that.
This seems to me to be an area that will be difficult to resolve in the short term, but something to keep in my pocket and be aware of for the future. I don't want to be like that. I want to be what I thought I was, a calm in the storm. And if he's feeling the kind of stress my brother was describing I'd like to know it for both our sakes.
This is starting to feel solvable.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Your strength and determination got you here... and THIS ^^^^ is what you just said. Do you see that?! Do you see what you typed? Do you see how far you've come?
I'm in your corner, Maybell. You're really doing a great job!
