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#2482275 08/25/14 03:18 AM
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Ggrass Offline OP
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Be perfectly symmetrically drawn and sexily flicked!

Old thread

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2473991#Post2473991

Lets hope that works.

Does a happy dance, not only does Christmas come later in the week with pl makeup I can do thread links.

Last edited by Ggrass; 08/25/14 03:19 AM.

M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
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Lol!!


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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Oh the challenges of properly and symmetrically applying eyeliner...

Love this thread name!


M: 37 H: 36
M: 13 T: 18
D: 7
Bomb: 6/30/14
Separation: 8/11/14

Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.
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I ordered yet more makeup!

Lol stomps foot, it's not here yet, damn and blast.

Been a bit blue this week.

Seems people are freaky, I found beers at a place I clean I don't drink the damn stuff. So lets just pay it forward, a nice gesture you would think.

I gave some to 3 of the blokes at work, the married one said its not necsarry I explained hey I found em and its a waste to bin them. H said well ok thanks nice gesture.

Second one said similar.
Third single guy got freaky! Thought I was hitting on hi questioned should "I not give them to "someone" at home alluding to h"

Then I got upset and squeaked "um NO! " had a hugely teary night. How the whole world thinks I'm married but yet the news of h openly dating ow and introducing them round as relatives we had staying with us fell into my lap this week.
Makes me wonder how h can find all these super willing woman and yet I tryed to be nice and freaked blokes out. I wanted nothing.

Sigh mediation Monday!

Sigh!


So did you hear about the bloke shooting celebs?




He was shooting for the stars! grin


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 3,500
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Ggrass, you're aiming higher than he is, that's why.

Sorry things are coming to this. Best to you!!!


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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Bumped into h friend who told me h dad used to run amok on h mum!

H w1 was supposed to have had an affair she denied but her a partner was h best mate!
H x 2 fave cousins had a' over the years.
His son took up with x best mates daughter and did the lets tell her we love her and then hook up with her best mate In front of her.

Mmmmm it's looking like truely, h has always been a cheater and surrounded by them.

Maybe it's just better to let the whole damn thing lie, h hasn't really give a shite about us nor remained in any contact.

Oh in good news today I got given a free lippy from work sample of a mag! Awesome.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Jun 2014
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I can't pretend to understand your shorthand there GG, but what Maybell said.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?


An investigator.

(Not so) Old Dog xx


M: 57 / EW: 52
T: 21, M: 8
S: 18, S: 15
Bomb: 1 Jun 14
EA Aug 2014 I think
PA Feb 2015 possibly sooner
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H whole family had affairs on each other.
First wife with best mate.

2 of husbands male cousins cheated multiple times on their wives. Husband adores and thinks those cousins are to aspire to.
Husbands father (fil) used to be well know for running round on husbands mother (mil)

It's all very incestous and nasty when you look at the whole picture. I was only looking at bits. On the whole all the men are cheaters. All cheating on each other and with each other wives very days of our lives.

Sigh.

Last edited by Ggrass; 08/28/14 08:53 AM.

M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Apr 2014
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Well upset and frustrated today.

Some of you will remember the letter from 2 weeks ago? The one that sent my in the funk I seem to be in.

I had draw issues again, I'm sure dam sure that h has been in the house. There was another letter begging! For forgiveness but framed in the past.

So written about an event as it just happened last night, but harping on forgiveness and me letting him know he has been forgiven? Wtf???!!

I'm very sure this one was not there 2 weeks ago. I am tempted to set a trap as there was supposedly money in child's room $20 on the cupboard which went missing. There was also $50 in a birthday card for me, which I'm sure I never took out of the card. It's gone. Unless the s16 is lying? But the money was to pay me for stuff son wanted.

Those cards were stuffed in the draw, along with the letter, well shuffled in with other papers. The cards were there a few days ago.

Stranger and stranger!

I'm thinking how to set a trap!


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
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Who cares! The make up arrived and all is well in the world.

The dusky pink liquid is awesome, so is the navy blue gel. I think i mailed the liner flick finally after months! New foundation one seems a bit light the other a little darker. Haven't opened the new mascara. Thought I might save it for a better occasions than the mediation tomorrow.

Well it's a bit daunting. But anywho!

Forward march left right left right left right.


Oh couple of the blokes at work were happing my snotty pitty party. Got a half cold. Sniffs and sniffs some more.

The 20 something was being freaky and the dutym was like just hugg him he loves it! Rolls eyes, we got all silly, but I wouldn't hug anyone at work it can get you a sexual harassment suit. It did lift the mood.


So did yesterday's lighting of dead trees, I smoked out the whole world. Smoking hot I was!


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 276
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I'm so glad you found love again...in the form of makeup.

You seem to be doing fairly well with detaching. Your H seems to be a little lost right now, what with the secretly placed fake old letters.

Sorry you have had to deal with all the bad. Enjoy the newfound fun person you seem to be turning into.


Me: 34 W:33
T: 10 M: 6
S: 6 D: 5
BD: 5/14
Still together(ish)
Not giving up: 7/14
D talk has slowed, a lot.
Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms.
Slow and Steady wins the race.
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I used to always be fun before.

I'm am doing the flip the script on those letters, they were always here, it's not going to be raised at the mediation for settlement. That is money not r! That line of flip the script has helped me to let go of the whole thought they were new. I cannot be sure!

I am also thinking if h raises any r issues, then I will be using the line, things are not that simple any more. If he places pressure for answers then I will be saying I will hear you out but I need time to digest and consider my answers. Or if he pushes the rec barrow he will be asked to formulate that plan. I am not expecting much, he couldn't even say hello weeks ago in person. He did however wave when I passed him on the road yesterday. He got the " I don't see you wave! Aka none or not even acknowledgement!"

I want to get him to also agree to leave my son alone. He was sleep walking etc. throwing up and very very stressed. He saw h yesterday in town, he was stressed last night and he had a verbal spew at me! So in a way I need to broach some r issues as h assulted son last year.

I think a nc for my son would be nice. Help him heal and acknowledge its not going to change. H has had 9months to consider his position and given the news he was dating openly late last year I think the ship has sunk.

Last edited by Ggrass; 09/01/14 12:43 PM.

M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Jul 2014
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Sounds like you've not only dropped the rope, you sound ready to set it on fire.

I don't blame you for wanting to keep him away from your son. That sounds very toxic.

No matter what, I think you seem ready to live life to the fullest.


Me: 34 W:33
T: 10 M: 6
S: 6 D: 5
BD: 5/14
Still together(ish)
Not giving up: 7/14
D talk has slowed, a lot.
Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms.
Slow and Steady wins the race.
Joined: Apr 2014
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Tempted today to send ss25 a text for his birthday. Might be a bit ironic tho being mediation and settlement today!

Bit teary last night, snotty too. Throats rough scratchy this am but there is no way I will cancel.

Got to move butt! Or I won't get to go shopping before hand. I thought nice looking jeans in the correct size and a cute shirt will show off the weight loss nicely! wink whistle

Need to do a fancy war paint too, looking to do natural look with Flicky eyeliner in the new navy. I know he hates make up, cause it makes you look good!


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Jul 2014
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Go get him!

wink


Me: 34 W:33
T: 10 M: 6
S: 6 D: 5
BD: 5/14
Still together(ish)
Not giving up: 7/14
D talk has slowed, a lot.
Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms.
Slow and Steady wins the race.
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
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I'm thinking fancy heels too!

Practices thanks for your honnesty, I appreciate it!

I'm sure I won't if he starts name calling etc, but that's unlike with a third party. He's all about social correctness and looking good right and nice.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Jul 2014
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Quote:
I am also thinking if h raises any r issues, then I will be using the line, things are not that simple any more. If he places pressure for answers then I will be saying I will hear you out but I need time to digest and consider my answers. Or if he pushes the rec barrow he will be asked to formulate that plan. I am not expecting much, he couldn't even say hello weeks ago in person.

My next appt in Wednesday and I'm rehearsing for every eventuality just as you are. It looks like you've got a good plan.

I'll be thinking of you, Ggrass. You hang tough.


M:54, H:55
T:33, M:27
12/13 BD: EA
01/14 BD: PA, H leaves
03/14 H & OW break up
05/14 H says he will file for D
08/14 H initiates D
09/14 H wants to R
12/14 Still bungling our way through R
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Well I wasn't true to you can't cry in mascara!


He however laughed and joked played the confused victim. Wanted to play straight swaps. Mmmm well when I said come up with options, he said I have none I have no idea what the agenda was. He talked of being exhausted from fighting oh dear! That's from a man that says I never take his calls um yes he rang my house twice when I wasn't here told me if I were to ring ever, he will ignore my calls.

He left out the little car he supposedly gave to ow, I mentioned the car he gave away.

He replyed I got paid in full! Lol he charged the ow for her car, lol grin wink there's a surprise. His assets are totally in his words double mine. Absolutely. He's a nut! Thru and thru.

Nothing was truely sorted, he has 30 days at his request.

My reply is I do not make snap decisions any more period. 30 days is fine. I forgot some db, but calm mostly. Now he can get on the front foot or not! The choice is his. I'm not sure I validated much.

But and there is always a butt!

This time is was my butt, I bought wrangler jeans in a size 15! whistle size 16 shirt all new. I looked hot new eyeliner new hair from 2 weeks ago well newly died.

I love the new jeans, they make me walk funny! Swagger almost grin
H was the post child for narc behaviour. He laughed and joked with the mediator.
He did the over exaggerated double take complete with gasp! He used the mlc excuse of she never said she wanted a mediated settlement. Really now to wait.

I have to formulate a list of items to be returned that's not pursuit? Right even If I have to make first contact.


M 46 h54
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T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Jul 2014
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Quote:
H was the post child for narc behaviour. He laughed and joked with the mediator.


So did my H. I think MLCers are experts on the "Act As If" philosophy. "Act as If This is a Lark."

Quote:
I love the new jeans, they make me walk funny! Swagger almost


That is the Badass GGrass Swagger! You go, GGrass!


M:54, H:55
T:33, M:27
12/13 BD: EA
01/14 BD: PA, H leaves
03/14 H & OW break up
05/14 H says he will file for D
08/14 H initiates D
09/14 H wants to R
12/14 Still bungling our way through R
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Mad hatters tea party springs to mind!

Maybe acting as If "I'm as silly as a lark! " works straight from the mlc hym sheet!

I love the bit where I said I used to phone you back until you said several times. Ner ner you rang I ignored you! so I don't waste my time!

So my list of items will be written like my posts from here, Lordy Lordy I've thought up some really great lines to use already.

I thought when talking of options I might seriously open with

To my dearly beloved x gg I bequeath the grey plastic porta throne, the one which I bought her cause she was anti peeing at long drops. wink

Can you tell I've been using my gift of time from last night humorously! I didn't sleep much sigh

That's just the openers. I will give him one week, then I will send my list and offers of settlement.

Feeling bright and happy, but tired

Dances,

So Congo, Congo, Congo kick Congo Congo Congo kick.

In other news I did wish ss now 25 happy birthday. Refered to myself as we did years ago as wicked step mother.
Reply was ;)nope just super wicked humor, so hence the ideas for humorous lists.
Retail therapy in a city sat. Might go out after work Friday. Just for coffee with friend to get her list of shopping from the make up chain I've been mail ordering from.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Jul 2014
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A very merry unbirthday to you!
Makes me want to go on the teacup ride at Disneyland. Of course divorce busting feels a lot like that. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow, forward, backwards, always spinning, going around in big circles...and sometimes it makes you wanna hurl.

I'm sad for where things are w/ your M, but I'm really excited for you and how you're going to face life moving forward.


Me: 34 W:33
T: 10 M: 6
S: 6 D: 5
BD: 5/14
Still together(ish)
Not giving up: 7/14
D talk has slowed, a lot.
Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms.
Slow and Steady wins the race.
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Posts: 2,118
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He wants to stall it the forward momentum in the doldrums of mediation. I want this bus to be mine, rather than his crazee train!

Look he really appeared to hesitant on things yesterday. There are some things I just want to ask, but I'm going to start the process with a joke then follow up with my list. Asking for his list of stuff.

Then I might just be me blunt as always and ask what I want to know. A true 180 for me.
H kept putting me off asking him questions etc as he said its rude etc.


M 46 h54
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T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Apr 2014
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Mmm choo choo, I think I can I think I can I think I can.............




Hear the karma train a coming up those tracks! The security dude from near the ow town who we have had for a whole couple of months has me me in tears laughing tonight and I hugged him he most definitely made my whole year.

It not getting better than this, ow is well known to pub security, um I think his words scraggy bike sum up his opinions! Well know woman of quality, if your looking for a bit!

Oh dear, I laughed so friggen hard I cried. My face ached and I had sore cheeks.

Um also I got an shift change on one day per week which means I am home 3 nights per week.


This a work prediction, I feel there might be a promotion coming my way. No real money, but it could include days and 38 hours per week! So I will be effectively full time.
Not part time with base hours.

Whoot whoot... I thought I had the rough end of the pineapple when things flipped upside down in feb, but it seems I was very mistaken. Seems h has and he cannot see it yet.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
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Well my opening email for trying to get dialogue happening over neg for finalising the settlement, is a work in progress.

It's in the sprit of mad hatters tea party and mlc babble.

Excerpts as we go along.

Oh man if he can read it without laughing he's beyond help, I doubt he will remotely understand. I'm beyond giving three figs.

It mentions bequeathing belly button lint, dust bunnies and perhaps returning hs dental floss. The offering of a fossilised mouse, offering his old tooth brush which I said I cleaned the loo with! I don't thinks its still even here.

Oh the plastic porta throne aka as ports loo gets an honourable mention!
I did add a ps at the bottom stating the offering of the mouse was over the top fibbing as I don't have one, but if he had his heart set on one we could look at it.

If he's half smart he will read between some of it, if not who cares?
If he opens up good, it's what the letters designed to do, if not then off to court later.

Both before and after med he was reluctant to leave, which was out of character rush bluster on get moving fast was always his mo. something's odd, but then it's been all odd and queer all year.,
no expectations.


M 46 h54
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T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Apr 2014
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Mmmmm I think I'm paranoid about being paranoid. grin

Now to explain, I had a car follow me up my driveway tonight. Yes, there 3 other houses on the road. It went past the neighbours place I thought it was heading to but did not come over near me and the other neighbour, it had driving lights I could not see number plate. I could not tell sort of car too far back.
No it's not a thru road and car did not try to head thru they would have had to turn round. Unless is was the guy that rents the land.

Stranger and stranger, nothing new in the letter spot. But it looked like things have been moved in there. Son either had lost the key to the door or its Mia. The one that hangs behind the door.

I sent h a pma jokey type email this morning about the things that's hold us back are in our head. It's was something he would look at and just relate to.

He's sent doodly squat as far as negation emails are concerned. Today is 2 days after med. next week I will send the out there email if I have heard nothing. I will leave it one week. grin

And I will keep re reading the email and tweaking it, although I think it's perfect.


M 46 h54
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T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 216
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It not getting better than this, ow is well known to pub security, um I think his words scraggy bike sum up his opinions! Well know woman of quality, if your looking for a bit!


Is "scraggy bike" the Aussie equivalent for "office bicycle"? It sounds like it!

Another very catty term I love to use but pretend is beneath me: "office ho worker".


M:54, H:55
T:33, M:27
12/13 BD: EA
01/14 BD: PA, H leaves
03/14 H & OW break up
05/14 H says he will file for D
08/14 H initiates D
09/14 H wants to R
12/14 Still bungling our way through R
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Ok so the Aussie definition
Scraggy unattractive well worn etc.


Bike means every one has had a peddle or a ride!
He gave me the picture of a fish wife!

I love ho worker! I did notice it.

I'm pondering h was pushing for mediation to be held in the city. About an hour from the location closest too us. A couple of times he's mentioned visiting said city for parties and social functions.


I'm wondering why, he doesn't spend a single solitary cent with out purpose. I'm not going to allow him to Move the location. In case it gives h advantage with maybe perhaps ow 1 or 3 or what? There seems to be a few, and refers to casual arrangements being where his head is!

He does seem to be ho ho hoing coming up to Christmas!

22 years since I got married the first time today! Sigh.
Haven't heard back from h, waiting a week to send my one email.


The only thing I notice is his words are done done done get it done run run running, but his action is lacking. Big on talk little on solutions.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
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Came home to cat locked in dog locked in from where son fed them last night! Sigh.

Had coffee with mate it's after 1am, fed up dogs and biggest was beaten up by the bitach! Who is way smaller and he let her, oh dear sookie la la she ate his dinner way to big for her and I almost had a real puke to clean up. sickalthough she seemed to force it back down.

Bought moi flowers to db the child who might ask, then I can say gifted. He has tended to believe h spew that his mother is awful and will not find friends or company outside the family.

S16 is staying with his dad tonight, I will collect tomorrow on the way to shopping.
Better sleep quickly as I might only get a few hours before I need to be up on the road.


M 46 h54
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Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,118
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Well didn't go shopping today, my mate was ill, so next weekend.

I did talk to my other friend and she has advised to really send any mediation stuff are purely serious.

Like a demand for stuff. I want x y and z. Guess if I had truely dropped the rope it's what you would do no emtion no other talks. No jokes no fun.

Sorry in advance to our smarter men,

Why do men like blonde jokes?

Cause the can understand them!

Last edited by Ggrass; 09/06/14 09:29 AM.

M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Apr 2014
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I'm glad youot that mediation advice. I wasn't sure what your goal was with what you'd laid out.

Keep laughing, Ggrass!

Why do sharks live in salt water?

Because pepper water would make them sneeze. smile


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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Damn damn damn!

I lost it! Do starting again.

The car was lost visitor from next door. I saw lady from next door and she confirmed. Which does make me feel heaps better. She is learning to be more careful and lock up as hubby was often around durring the day. I never notice much and without being more on gaurd an axe murder would follow me home and I might never even notice.

I decided with the negation emails it needed to be more business like less friendly like and more drop the rope style. Nothing changes till they face the cold hard reality of the choices they have made, right?

First one was more just list of stuff, for collection and the reasons why I asked him to respect my wishes around s16 and nc. Also asking for this to speed up and provide some solutions.

How many emo kids does it take to change a light globe?





None, they all, sit in the dark and cry! grin

Last edited by Ggrass; 09/07/14 06:59 AM.

M 46 h54
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T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 216
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I wish I had a good riddle to give you! Wish I could make everything better.


M:54, H:55
T:33, M:27
12/13 BD: EA
01/14 BD: PA, H leaves
03/14 H & OW break up
05/14 H says he will file for D
08/14 H initiates D
09/14 H wants to R
12/14 Still bungling our way through R
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What's brown and sticky?





A stick.


Me: 34 W:33
T: 10 M: 6
S: 6 D: 5
BD: 5/14
Still together(ish)
Not giving up: 7/14
D talk has slowed, a lot.
Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms.
Slow and Steady wins the race.
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How does a woman scare a gyno?


grin ;)become a ventriloquist!

Lol

Well I was asked by a mutual auction hound who doesn't know we aren't together any more what did he buy at the weekend?

So what did we learn by that comment, well it means manky wasn't with him means he was on his own and not telling/advertising at the top of his lungs as in the past we are finished.

He hasn't replyed to my first list. I'm thinking about sending it from another email addy he most definitely has, just in case it hasn't been received.


M 46 h54
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T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
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Had to search for this one:


What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?




It gets toad away.


M:54, H:55
T:33, M:27
12/13 BD: EA
01/14 BD: PA, H leaves
03/14 H & OW break up
05/14 H says he will file for D
08/14 H initiates D
09/14 H wants to R
12/14 Still bungling our way through R
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Hey nitty
that's a good one!

I juts had problem customers, from last night, I was nice joking and helpful. 2x blokes today they came in and straight away starting being ott! Really acting like limpets. Blerk.

Felt like puking a few times. Thank god not locals.


M 46 h54
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Oh in good news, the free beer gift, which had made the quirky guy skittish, seems to have worn off. He was normal nice and joking yesterday.

Him and the much too young were just being double meanings and silky jokes it was good and fun. I love work when it's that fun.


M 46 h54
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Ooooooh you put your left hand in, you put your left hand out and you shake it all about...

Oh do the hokey pokey that's what it's all about.

Well my reply from my list wasn't what I expected, I got another lecture on gun law!,this will be the 4th. No agreement on non disputed items nor a list of h items he says he's left with me! No progress again, he refused to do stuff any legal way he's now refusing to acknowledge anything I want, then turning things to his wants.

He focused on the list I left out, which is the disputed items which I think should be delt with separately. He pretended again to not know of items sigh, that I was pretty sure he may have. I re validated some of his comments and also said if he was truely wanting proper adult conversation he was more than welcome to contact. He was told I deal with x y z. Then we do disputed items. Rolls eyes. Yet again I'm trying to convey to someone how to behave, he's far outting 53 he knows how to behave he was the behaviour police in the m.



Mr quirky seems to have settled down and is ok, joking etc tonight. Which was nice. No progress.


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Bangs head repeatedly on the nearest brick wall!

Damn damn damn!
There was a dude in here a couple of weeks ago remind me of johnny dep from pirates of the Caribbean! Awesome long curly hair, hot too!

I pretty sure I got asked out, but damn I didn't see it and said no i can't! Didn't even god damn think to say ill go another time. Sish! crazy crazy

Douh!

Oh just a one liner today drinking rum before 10am doesn't mean your an alcoholic it means your a pirate! Arh! grin


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Well now the city shopping trip, the haul was huge.

S16 may never stop lecturing me about how I selfishly shopped all about me. For once. He was so very not amused, and let it rip once my mate was out of ear shot!

Eyeliner tally was 3 gold green and white.
4 lips sticks a lip pencil
Hotties! Not men but rollers to give my limp biscuit hair some legs!
Make up brushes
New bras
Couple of pairs of jeans (women's ones)
Undies (Lacey women's ones)
Another 4 pallet of eye shadow a real steal on sale
Lip gloss

Some of the bargain items were $2 a couple the eyeliners mainly.

Now the comments on women's items refers to an time when we went shopping to buy underwear etc. h insisted I buy men's cheaper more robust etc. same men's jeans etc.

Now me I love a bargain, so being tight for $ I did go for more practical clothing on his insistence. The strange thing was it was my $ I earnt it I had the right to spend it how I liked and while I'm not throwing out good items, I thought maybe its time to have nicer things with the weight loss it's making it easier to buy as well.

It's just a moving forward thing. I'm thinking a nice feminine frock for mediation.

http://www.ebay.com.au/bhp/50-s-rockabilly-dress
Like this from the 50's
No jokes but a music clip to lift the mood

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BxRQNO8vg2Y
So just imagine my hot blue mobile disco bouncing down the road to this!
Rock on all you poor mlc folks.


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Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
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Well bought the dress. I think I will wear it to mediaition. It's about as sane as h!

Oh we all looooove the hokey pokey. Put your left leg in put your left leg out and shake it all about.

Got a reply from,last weeks email, about 5 days, so I replied straight away. He's stringing things out. To which he got called on by me. He also had o be reminded about he was told make a decision you vetoed every suggestion so far, so hurry and decide.

I also told him to stop holding onto the ashes and see the psych if he needs to chat including her number. I know he's not going to make an appointment, but my point was i am not here to solve your issue and hurry up and decided already.


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Oh well captain sparrow was in again.

So folks please teach to me to be a normal grown adult. Seems I just turned 5, douh!
Bangs head on nearest wall.

Mind reading he's a keen one. The others girls at work were all swooning over him I think hot as a stove covers it. Man man!



Around my work a promotion is you get off night shift to days, I just got the word that the hinted days will be coming my way. I'm getting at this stage 2 more to bring my total to 3 days thus leaving me 2 night shifts, as one of my new days is Sunday there will be more $. Couple more Hours guaranteed as well, almost full time.

Lady I used to work with came in tonight was gobb smacked at weight loss and totally appearance changes. Very complimentary. Seems the only one I offend 100% of the time is husband. Mmm ponders who's view is warped?

Goooooooo me. Today was an excellent day all round.

I also a bit teary but I think the stand is perhaps coming to an end. I cannot r with someone who is saying I'm all at fault nor will let go of his affair.

Last edited by Ggrass; 09/16/14 11:23 AM.

M 46 h54
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T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
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Oh no that twice, one more try or I'm giving up.

S16 has been a pia, he's still sending abusive text with major profanity.
He's been called out, then made threats. I told him to cut it out or he can move to his fathers full time. He will not like that remotely.

Seems h didn't like my last email, I told him he's clinging to the ashes of a dead r, he should see ic which I asked him to see before to sort his decisions out as he seems unable. Well his actions show he is. Refusing to hand over things he should rightly do.
Now after round and round he's saying I can hand over the riffle to storage, but insists he can do tomorrow. Not sure he can organise that, because I already organised it before and he stalled it.

Sigh now he thinks the right way is the way, rolls eyes funny about that. Do what works so what the the wah, least want to hear he's still holding any feelings, it worked. Now he's trying to prove me and my suggestion wrong. wink
Hopefully that will move settlement onwards.

So why is Santa so jolly?

grin wink

He knows where all the naughty girls live.


M 46 h54
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Pearl harbour your reply and mine was lost in the cull!
Sish.


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Sish, bestie now needs a dress for an upcoming wedding, so of to factory outlets we go in the city. Does a hapoy dance.

Pondering about another trip to look at more make up and eyeliners. Might check out another foundation too! One of the expensive ones is too light.

Oh and h has finally forwarded his list of return property, one set of show clothes. The set is one for him and one for me exactly the same. I am really stunned he would ask for them.

As he stated he hated doing it, hated anything that reminded him of us and our life. I'm bamboozled.

I have drafted a reply and will send it tomorrow as I have been tied up with paperwork training and the rifle licence and work. He's been taking between 3-5 days to bother reply to me. One day will not hurt him.

Today was a follow up email and a text, from h.

Nothing really needed nor require a response.

Oh in good news sparrow came into work again, too busy to chat much, but I think he's leaving town soon. Oh well. I was still a little flustered but almost hit behaving and like a normal human. Not quite. Oh well, at least I'm getting bettera.

Last edited by Ggrass; 09/24/14 09:37 AM.

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Well, yet again shopping was awesome. Spent way too much $. Two Pairs of shoe for the price of one. Bought another 50's dress, went to some ops shops bought 3 shirts and pants for $20. Shopped to nearly till 8pm.
Drank coffee ate doughnuts and boy ad a huge day.

Oh dear but it seems like h asking for the show clothes was him setting me up, in one way I took his bait but his requests were vague and very much open to confusion.

He was asked for a list and what he gave was initially vague descriptions, hence i thought he asked for something he says he did not.

So my reply will be asking him to be more concise and stating his requested items have been dropped off.
I forgot his main method of confusing people was to claim they didn't get his meaning thus making it easy for him to make you wrong and get into a circular discussion. Very pa.

By dropping his stuff off the conversation is completed, by my action.
Does a happy dance, while I could have handled it slightly better, it shows I can push some change.

While I cannot make him communicate better I can stop the dance of misunderstandings.
It's hard to explain, but inside myself I think I've had a big win.
Now I just need to learn to make this a habit.

Last edited by Ggrass; 09/27/14 01:02 AM.

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Ok so the misunderstandings, I told him exactly in person what I wrote.

Dot point makes no misunderstandings. Why make a statement when you wanted x y and z, it's waffle and taking it out on me when I have no idea what you were referring to.

He then said as I expected I don't take things out on you! Mmmm

Wore a nice dress, heels and work make up. Doesn't hurt to create mystery, but as some others are thinking I'm seriously not sure I can like him.

He asked if I had been on a day off, which I wasn't, but his mate saw me so there is no point trying to muddy water. So I stated early day.
He was in a very foul mood had the driveway blocked? Not sure why, said it was just chance, I'm guessing another lie.

He was stressed unhappy and he also said his dog has bone cancer and is about to die in 4 weeks! Dog did look very ill.

He also made a big point of giving the bag back I gave him his stuff in, a women's brand label shoe????


Then after that things disintegrated in me me me me me! From him, he might have been singing.
Then another chorus of me me me, I'm so poor I was so generous you have no idea. He seemed to want to draw me In to yet another round and round.

My escape was "I really have somewhere I need to be" and I just walked away.

Unfortunately, he now makes my skin crawl I don't like the nasty man I see. The lies just keep coming. I find it hard to find any compassion atm. While there was some stressed feelings before i got there, I wasn't over whelmed as before. Nor do I feel I should do what he wants.

I'm not sure what he was trying to achieve apart from getting me to drop the mediation and do one on one with him. Which will not happen.

Bumped into ss25 in my low cut dress and his eyes were a bit uncomfortable, oh well I guess I will be the topic of conversation a dinner tonight! Guessing now ss25 works where I i buy my fuel, I will see him often.

My confidence got a huge ar$e confidence boost from work today, by the men, who were openly applauding the dress, so really h had no effect on my mood. Oh also got caught checking out hot dude at work last night, by the dude i was looking at. Oh well wink he was looking back too. whistle puts that confidence booster in my pocket too. Along with female work mate bashing her head while doing a double take, of the hot ar$e dress.

Life is truly now ok. Tomorrow is my Friday, thank god.

I think I'm either given up or detached its a very bizarre feeling.


M 46 h54
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You go girl! yep, not sure whether detaching or giving up, just know I don't want to do this dance anymore.

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Nods, uh huh watto.

It's hard to tell, so now you know why I get where your at.
I now had some private number phone calls. About 4 bloody call centres, was temped to pick up and give them the run around for sport.

Had the first world drama of hundreds and thousands blocking up the tuppaware shaker! S16 and 3/4 wanted fairy bread, he's had cravings.


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Hi Ggrass

Sorry, was out of town then sick (I always catch something when I fly these days).

Keep working on detaching. Try not to spend any time thinking about H's motives or actions. Doesn't matter--not your problem. Your job is to keep moving forward and working on you.

And in line with working on you, I humbly suggest that you do some reading on boundaries. From this outsider's point of view you could be helped by implementing them with your son. I understand that teenagers are difficult but there's no reason he should be treating you with such disrespect. When you allow it you teach him that H's way of treating women is correct and son will go on to treat the women in his life that way. No good for everyone.

Glad you're enjoying the new clothes and confidence boost they bring. Been there, done that! Unfortunately I've gained the weight back over the years so a lot of my new infidelity diet wardrobe doesn't fit anymore. That's why I believe in shoes. wink


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Oh pearl I bought 2 pairs,of shoes as well! I wasn't allowed while with h! Only second hand and I had to buy cheap as possible men's clothes undies the like. Having nice stuff is cool.

The child is improving, but his father does let him run riot and does not set any boundary at all. Telling son if he continues to theaten he will live in town with his dad, seems to have worked.

Although his concerns revolve around me hooking up with strange men, and kicking him to the curb. So he's feeling emtionally unstable and unsettled.

I have been talking to him on a casual level at times when he's not upset, validating etc. and so his outburst have been less. His concern was his riffle was gone but now it's safe and he's seen it he's far more relaxed.
Seems I've lost a tad more weight, pants I had that have been loose for months, are now able to pull on without unzipping.


The make up is now a work staple for the last three -four months even keeping on keeping on when I get up at 4 am. I want to look good. Or better than I did.

The whole visit to h place left me with a bizarre feeling like i Had been to the MAD hatters, the whole things felt staged or mmm I can't find the words for the feeling. I'm not sure I could even begin to get any vibe off his actions, or words except that they are most definitely not matching. H says done get out of my life, but I'm holding onto the artificial vagina for a sterile stallion which he was supposed to castrate and hasn't.

When I said why do you need it, the horse has no testicles anymore? Horse has foals on the ground and got mares preggers was his reply, but I'm not sure how he needs the av now as the horse has no visible testicles. H said its joint property I'm keeping it till asked to hand it over.

That exchange was just so weird it was not logical nor about the av on his side. Hence when he really started to give me a hard time, I just left, as I wanted no part in the conversation which was him going round till he got an argeement. The next mediation is 10 days. So I feel it can wait and I wasn't falling into the trap about him getting a bite out of me for an argument. ^^^^ all that I cannot do anything about and it now doesn't bother me like it used to. Which shows I've grown some.

Heading to a work do tomorrow night so I'm wearing new heels and dusting off the wrangler jeans that make me walk funny. Funny how loosing 10-20kg or 33-44 pounds makes you swagger! The girls at work now ask how many coffes I've had at lunch, I say 2 coffees makes life funny but add chocolate to the mix and it will get wild. Lol

Life is fun, I cannot remember fun times like this. For such a long time things were awful its nice to be stress free, that was definitely reinforced by yesterday's visit.

The thing my mind kept fleeing back to today is how being separated is actually calm happy and nice. It's funny how things change.


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Just give him back everything and be done with it. Then there's no more going over and all the ensuing thoughts about what's going on with him.


If you love somebody, set them free.
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I have done that, but he's holding into bits that are mine, he seems to want you to go round. I haven't been just going round, this time was the first since april. I organised a time, expected to pick up a box but got there to have to follow him round while he collected up items.

Deliberate painfulness on his side, to ambush.

The mediation is over joint property which is what he classified some of the items I wanted. He earns more than me, he can more easily replace items than I can. I had to work up to 3 jobs to get where I have, but the thing is he thinks if he treats people bad enough with enough disrespect. he will win and be rewarded as most will let it go.

Thus proving he can go back again and again for another bite. Hence I want it stopped, it will only stop if I don't back down. He looks at those who walk as weak and ripe to be picked off.

Some back story, he took my s16gun and the magazine( legally in his name) Twice he told people he didn't have the magazine, we didn't give it to him, my son was disrespectful and lost it and now is blaming him for the loss etc. he actually had it, when I confronted him, and stood firm it got returned.

I will not go back to his house ever. He knows I will call the police if he comes here uninvited as he has done.

Pearl you have no idea how resolute I can be once my mind is set. I went 100% nc still hold that, the only contact will be mediation. I have attended a funeral which he was at and still maintained nc. Things are better if I hold firm, me being to easy going was a complaint of his.

I'm really wanting the whole mediation out of the way, him dragging his feet is not helping.

Last edited by Ggrass; 10/02/14 08:13 AM.

M 46 h54
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I understand that he is being unfair and you are at a disadvantage monetarily. I'm all for going through mediation or any other legal avenue to get what is rightfully yours. A strong, independent woman doesn't take crap from anyone. She also knows that life isn't fair and sometimes it's better to cut losses than spend more time and energy on a draining situation.

Sometimes it comes down to do you want to be right or do you want to be happy.


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Yes, it is better to cut losses. In this case however h is banking on that fact.

He wants me to walk away with nil, which is what he said, everybody walks all over you and takes advantage of you financially . He did in the r and he is now. He wants the stuff to sell for the $, I will be using said items. He gave me a business in which I took all the things that cost $ in other words the liabilities (his words) he kept the assets. That is not a fair split.

He justifies it by saying gg contributed nothing not one cent, not one bit of work to the r.
I contributed plenty, worked 3 jobs and sacrificed plenty on his request.

Both those areas need to be worked on in my life. Standing up for what is mine will be a 180.

Sat I spent the day with a friend who hasn't know me more than 2 years. She commented on some of the visible changes which I cannot feel or see that easily.

She has said my whole outlook is such a huge change even the way i hold my self and my much easier mannerisms.

A customer commented she is surprised, my changes since I started working there at Christmas, seems she doesn't even recognise me from the person who started there 2 years ago. She could not remember me. Which surprised me, I feel the same person.

Back to my sat, my work mate said I hold my self different all the time, my thinkings happier lighter more relaxed, more able to deal with customers and more proactive. Her and I also went shopping, thank god the shoe shop was shut, otherwise we both might have been a couple of pairs heavier on the trip home.

Her biggest statement is how she thinks I'm still searching for answers. Thinking if I turn every stone every issue then I can figure out my lessons. That I need to be digging to sort them. She really pointed out in a great way that I'm doing things without knowing the pieces are actually coming together, I seem to be finding my way by instinct if that makes sense.

Yesterday was my Monday, and work didn't go terribly well, not enough staff, super busy.
The differences I noticed yesterday in me was I spoke up and made my points to the bosses rather than take the blame and when I came home the whole stress of the day did not carry over. I cared that the job wasn't done as good as it could of been but I wasn't as invested emotionally as I would have been in the past.

A bunch of rambling that may or may not make any sense, but this morning it's just those thoughts that are giving me joy. That things do change, even when you think they are not.



Last edited by Ggrass; 10/05/14 11:56 PM.

M 46 h54
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GGrass, thanks for giving me that advice on my thread!

Quote:
The differences I noticed yesterday in me was I spoke up and made my points to the bosses rather than take the blame and when I came home the whole stress of the day did not carry over. I cared that the job wasn't done as good as it could of been but I wasn't as invested emotionally as I would have been in the past.


This has been my experience, too. I used to stress so much over work, and now I'm like, "Meh. What happened today does not define me one bit. It is just one day." And I say "no" when I need to say "no." That's huge for me.

I've learned a lot from everything that's happened in the last year. I understand what you mean when you say it is giving you joy.


M:54, H:55
T:33, M:27
12/13 BD: EA
01/14 BD: PA, H leaves
03/14 H & OW break up
05/14 H says he will file for D
08/14 H initiates D
09/14 H wants to R
12/14 Still bungling our way through R
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Well I got a huge kick in the ego, customer service [censored].

I had a customer complain I didn't address her complaint and brushed her off. I validated her complaint minor explained how she could avoid it in future. There is nothing I can do about a key pad!

She was truly grump biatch. You know what even tho I was dragged into the office to be counselled I explained what she said. My manager was serving right next to me. I did ask her for feed back. She stated she heard nothing bad from me. I'm not concerned, in fact I up beat as I'm hoping one of my hotties will be in tonight.

A good perve does help to make the pma go further. Go me, grumpy people do not define my day!


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Well no hotties, but one of our regular customers came in and boy the double meanings were flowing.

He had been In the morning and I had made an innocent comment "about doing him next! " etc the morning conversation went down hill fast into almost benny hill wicked comments and laughing till it hurt.

So this afternoon comment was weren't you here already once? Then it was like the conversation never ended from the morning except about five of us ended up howling with tears and cheek aches!

My wicked humor and quick Witt my besties been complaining has left, is back!

It funny she kept saying I would know me when it returns. Look out world I'm back and feeling like I'm living in my very own skin and it feel awesome. It's actually happening far more often too.

Actually its more than awesome, it's fanbloodyastic.

To all those suffering just keep on walking forwards, one day you will just feel like your getting there. You won't really know how you got there, but you will arrive if you keep on moving.


M 46 h54
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That's rockin' good news :-)


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Bumped into ss25. He is working not with h anymore he cannot tolerate the lies being told about him and his standard of work, when the work stuff ups are not him.

He mentioned h has issues, well douh! Memory loss h cannot remember something said within the last hour. H can fly into temper over nothin in seconds flat. Manic working or not working.

A quote from ss25 is h has gone from normal fit fun 50year old to a mental basket case of 90! He is very concerned about dementure or other issue. Me, all I can do is validate what ss said and I offered support I did say if you need me or want anything please don't feel shy. It's not my drama. I felt sad to say relief for me being apart, that's not to say I'm not going to help out of asked.

My concern is that h assulted my son last year out of the blue, and that if h is suffering from a health issue then ss could be at risk because we live rural it's often not possible to get police or ambos. Distance of 40km to nearest services.

Works been awesome, spring is here. Breeding season too. Need to get mares organised. Still working on my original goals of fencing and filling my rubbish bin each week with clutter. Also looking a finishing my round yard that I started last year before I inured my knee in a major way. Studying for my truck licence (hoping to sit test after mediation next week) and haven't seen my gun licence come back yet either.

Mediation next week, my sons a bit touchy but far better. He's going to his dads tomorrow for at least the weekend. He's been up and down at night so I need a break from his non sleeping patterns. Given h possible undiagnosed health issues, I am now much more impatient for the sep agreement to be in place, as h refuses to admit he even has any issues.


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So an example of why my humor is so left field.

One of the Ponys have been in the house yard on diet, so last night he staged the great escape pushing the gate open.

That's fine but the dogs kept going off all night growling ad fighting, but any how it wasn't serious and I didn't worry too much and went back to sleep without getting up.

So it turns out the boy friend as he's called had a trophy, he had followed the walk about pony and found a sheep head attached to the skin from where we killed sheep about 2-3 weeks ago!

So by now it's full of wriggly rice ( aka as maggots) at 4.30am I'm trying to get out the door to work try grabbing the filthy wriggling trophy of a bf who refuses to hand his prize over. Rice was falling out all over the floor and a the biatch got involved and another dog fight broke out!

Then I tryed stuffing his prize int he wheelie bin, but it's full. So the whole sheep heads looking out from under the lid without eyes, boy it was a real laugh. By this stage I was late, smelly and laughing at how no one will believe what just happened.

So tonight it's about to rain, but I've had to rearrange the bin so I can burry Said head so s16 dog who can jump onto the bin can't find himself a massive trophy.

On the plus side tomorrow is bin day, so the smell will be gone by the morning. Now all dogs are installed on the couch while, the thunder and lightening flashes.


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OMG, were you taking out the sheep head when your H drove by?

Haha! It's really something how the dogs don't care how much something stinks, they will roll in it! Nasty, maggoty sheephead? Yumm! Haha!


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OMG, GG!!!

Your post was freakin' hilarious!! The visual, tho.... I'm definitely going to have nightmares.

Skin-on maggot-infused wriggly rice covered head of eyeless sheep.

It's what's for dinner. wink

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It's just an Aussie saying round here, us farmers are weird and can find a joke in anything even death or drought.

So for those who might have missed my throw away comment in shinning thread.

I took the bins down the morning. I never thought I would be seen by anyone as we are out of town, I forgot I suspect to brush my hair and defiantly had no nice clothes or make up on. So I'm putting the bin right by the edge of the road and h drives by in customers vehicle. About 1m from me, shish how did he know to pick that bloody moment and why on stupid earth did I have some really bad visions.

As the vehicle past me I was facing the other way so I did not have to wave or pretend.
But the vision was of me throwing the head in the window at him wriggly rice and all!

My warped sense of humor thought it would be funny!
I know it's not, but the look on his face if I had would have been priceless.

Oh well mediation tomorrow, I had a really nice dress picked out so I could head out to lunch afterwards but it's forecast to be under 15degrees not dress weather. Sigh.


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Oh it was nittys thread.


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To be honest, I think I now regret mediation.

Seems h couldn't read the emails, that I sent. his reason iPads don't talk to normal computers, who knew. Considering he resented the email, refuses to use it. why i am I not surprised. He still thinks settlement entails a swapsies scenario.

In fact if I take any of the deals I will be no better off. I think I've had enough emotional washing and I will hand things over to a L! What I could get should have had about 5zeros he won't agree to a single cent. He will trade property $ for $. It really doesn't work, for me in any sense. He still complained bitterly I refused to acknowledge his text, but it's ok for him to take weeks in his answers. Double standard or what. I have 21 days to let him know a decision or choose an option.

He did however say he had signed all paperwork and lodged it for sons rifle. Gun dealer disputes that. in fact quite the opposite, he neglected to take the required paperwork when he lectured the dealer on law the gun dealer was surprised he was so neglectful, as that will get him into trouble. It's no drama to us, just a pointless lie.


Last edited by Ggrass; 10/14/14 10:34 AM.

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Well I think I've said on here before about s16 wanting to talk at times all night about nothing much. Won't let things alone and just will keep finding reasons to hold you in conversations.

Now last night another one he followed me round stood in door while I was in the tub, then followed me and hung in door way to bedroom. I thought he would talk all night.,

But,

But,

He turned the conversations back to when h hit him and how h was " retard" strange etc.

But the biggest shock was hi revealing h had assaulted him a few times. Always a sneak attack and always with no warning nor explaination

The one I knew about was in s16 room. The other one he reveled last night was in my lounge room. Hit hard enough to leave a red mark and knock him off balance. . Child has no evidence to back up his claims. He was adamant he had been hit.

I remember xh making a big deal about h hitting s16 on a few separate occasions to me. I said it would never happen. I'm guessing s16 had been confiding in his father these assaults.

S16 has been told, by me that I asked h not to have contact and so he can ask him to leave him alone. If h continues then I can have him stopped if necessary.

Last edited by Ggrass; 10/16/14 05:26 AM.

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That can't be a good thing to find out. It sounds like your s16 has wanted to tell you for a while and so its good he has.


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As its so long ago tho how can you be sure child hasn't re written history?

H made a big deal always that s16 told lies and fibs etc. often people didn't believe s16.
H is the poster child for community service, belongs to service club and is big. Was a churchy man in the past, supported church in a way of agisting cows for them to sell and the church took the money. H does however put on a show, a front if you will. One way in public another in private.

I am slightly concerned now tho, why h said he was going to do 6 trips over 3 days of stuff to my house. It's making me think he now is trying to come to my house even after he's been told he's not welcome.


H doesn't do anything with out a reason and something being in it for him. He's all about h. No one else.


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Given how you finished that last post, why would you doubt your son?

And what reason would your son have to lie?

Ggrass, I can't stress enough how important it is to treat your son's claim seriously. His following you around talking shows him trying really hard to connect and get your attention. I would give a lot for my kids to make that kind of effort with me.

With regard to your H's public persona... Our former neighbor was charged with sexually assaulting two little girls at his daughter's slumber party a couple of years ago. He was tried, convicted, and sentenced to 22 years. He also was highly respected and very, very visible in our community. Something like 75 people wrote testimonials to his good character based on his community activities. The testimonials were excluded from his trial, which was used as grounds for a successful appeal. Less than three months after his release additional detailed complaints surfaced based on a girl's conversation with a mandatory reporter. There is no doubt in my mind that he is guilty, though when the initial charges were filed we were all pretty stunned. 75 people were sufficiently impressed by his public persona to write testimonials... Do you think it was harder for them to do that than it was for those girls to describe, over and over, the ways in which he'd hurt them?

What I'm trying to say is, your son has very good reason to find it hard to tell you someone you care about hurt him. That is going to make it hard for him to confide in you -- as you can tell by how hard it was for him to get it out. Protect your son and your relationship with him, take him at his word. The things you've shared about him show that he loves you very much.

Last edited by Maybell; 10/16/14 01:44 PM.

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I don't doubt he was assaulted on the quiet. I don't doubt his words.

I do know h always went to great lengths to prove s16 totally untruthful he did the same to a degree with me to others.

I do know s16 has memory issues as add. S16 is very good at turning issues where he should be held accountable to something he's done to being totally innocent. Ie hanging out with smothers while smoking but s16 is very anti smoking as his grandfather died of a hole in the Kung smoking related traumatic for a 7-8yo.

So my logical side knows there will be 2 sides plus the facts. Which were always very muddy, given al, the gas lighting going on my head is spinning to a degree more of indignation not rumination.

I do know the whole stigma of being branded the craze one. One of my besties of 30 years long before h came along tryed to tell me I was crazed when I wanted someone to talk to about what ss25 said about h crazee memory loss and out right fibbing. Her response he was fine at Saturdays charity do.

What I saw at mediation of h was a man who used to take pride in his appearance walk in dressed in second hand jumper belonging to his son, shirt with collar disorganised under jumper, this time clean jeans, last time jean were dirty. Presentation was off!
This man would make a big deal if I had a crumb on my face. Volatile blaming, others anger, memory loss, frantic doing, jumpy demeanour, unable to focus, forgetting minor stuff, being unable to express him, self violent outbursts are all a part of early dementure along with depressive moods. While I now really am not feeling like I want my h nor have my feeling of romance towards him I am more concerned for what may happen for his son, who lives with him.

If h is sliding down into dementure related problems, his son will have very little idea what he's letting himself in for. One friend has just gone down this crazed road for the last 4 years. The police nearly charged her for assaulting her mum and dumping her in a shopping center. Real story mum ran off got confused and told fibbers.

Another is in the stage h seems to be at with her h, he is total dementure at home when relaxed no need to put out an act. Then when out he can fool his own dr, about how well he is. Walk out door and say "who was that and why were we here again" with no idea at all. It concerns me being their neighbour.

Those facts are what makes me uncomfortable amount other things with h Big Bang plan.
The Big Bang plan is h delivers my property etc from mediation settlement in 6 trips over 2-3 days. He knows I am very uncomfortable with h being on my property.

Last time h was here inside my house he used it to check up on me! Ie go thru my bedroom and enter it. Blerk.
I have been inside his house once at his request, to have coffee. It was an awful experience, will not do it again.

Enough of the crap, might be going out with my oldest bestie to a cow boy event,
* Fans self*
Blushes
The guy I've dubbed hottest thing on legs at work I suspect will more than likely be there.
He now openly greets me, and will oogly me like Wednesday after work. That old saying turns heads applies. So if he asked me out need to practice but he's scarey younger than me.

"Hell yeah,"

Other dude that was from the past just a omg I wish I was good looking enough for that! Past
He's been separated and divorced nearly 2 years. He's a might for being there too. So at least I will know a couple of friendly blokes to chat to.
a fear of mine turning up to things not knowing anyone and feeling fish outta water.


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Well what do db say about the real story could be vastly different to the truth?

I went to the cow boy school, turns out the location wasn't where I thought so I still went but it was for total novices, in other words kiddies! Sigh.
Oh well.

Went and saw L she said its damn complicated compared to most, even still she says I contributed a lot more than h ever gave me credit for. Even down to him keeping some stuff like and av when I did the courses she's a loss to explain his position on those. She also said h figures just don't stack up, given his savings and spendings

She is going to write and ask him for his records and then we figure out what is true and what is not.

Looking at doing what ggg is doing and getting help for the horses, although I can't afford to pay in $ so I might do a knowledge trade. Get someone to teach me some of the skills I need to expand, teach another trainer some of my specialist skills.

Oh and I found some Christmas money ( that i had saved) as I came thru the city shops a little patent leather red hand bag may have followed me home. Also with bestie I bought some Lacey singlets to wear for summer, very cute 4x $20 a sheer bargain., how could I not?

Cleaned more things that don't fit any more filled a bin bag, but failed my goal of filling the wheelie bin each week with de cluttering. Re organised the undies and bra
Drawer. I now have enough lacy stuff to wear every single day found some bras that fit now as well. Lined them up from biggest to smallest, also found my real stockings, hidden in the draw. whistle Went to a friends for coffee and we ended up have 2 wines, that inspired me to clean the draws seeing her way of organising.

We also acquired a poddy lamb over the weekend it was pretty quiet and we thought it missed its first drink. So we gave it 48 hours max on Saturday, it's now day 3.

Oh and one of my tops I've been changing into at work to go out in famous. One of the dudes from work was telling my friend "ggrass was at work in this top... Insert spluttering and eye popping! " so my friends quote went! Yes, it's a bit low cut.


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So ok, s16 comes home with a story yesterday.

That h has accepted a mare to service with his stallion (still in studs name and mine) . Problem is stallion has issues with both fertility and DNA. Fertility issue is causing defects on the sperm thus defects in foals. I do know horses fertility as of feb 12 was so low vets were surprised he had foals at all. He has sired some last year, but as his cough splutter jewels have shrunken to the point he looks like a gelding, there will be almost a zero chance of a foal.

So I have no faith h will not lie about stallions issue and collect the fee, so I phoned mare owner who I know, to ask. To be given the same lecture I have been given by all those that hear h side. Leaving me as the bad party.

I have a bad taste in my mouth, I will not lie or let h lie using my stud name. Althought he hasn't, which is ok. I felt the need to check, but I can't help feeling that I was baited to a degree.


So after work as per normal, I get into my hot going out gear whistle just to give me a real boost. S16 didn't attended school again, his reason i wasn't bothered to go!
Sigh at least me spotty dogs love me and the lamb!
That's a joke Joyce!

Friday tomorrow and I'm back to weekends off! Nice grin
Oh and one of my gay bf left me some pma quotes as he hasn't seen me on nights for a bit, he's soooooo lovely.


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Oh dear, really really angry yesterday, pms irrational for no reason just a bad mood.
Started to get the whole pitty party happening.
Felt really over whelmed. Questioning why is that every one else's needs and feelings always need to be considered first and as more important. Just mostly bitchy bitchy panties feeling.

Ended up at a mates place for coffee, and we both needed to offload and vent work crap.
Came home with her to feed lamb and get wine to have dinner at hers. Stayed out til stupid o'clock and feed lamb at one am when I got home. Had a really nice salmon dinner. Not sure her hubby is very happy with his estrogen filled house last night but he was good about it.


s16 has pad bolted his bedroom to lock it. After he has broken the lock which I have repeatedly asked him not to use. Locked in his room my cordless phone and most of my kitchen crockery. So todays job was out with screw driver and locks are removed. If he re installs I will be removing the door. He has been warned about doing as asked and respecting my wishes in my house. I think that solution is fair, I have talked enough time for the action. If anyone has thoughts?

I've been thinking about his refusal to attend school but as I'm at work when he is supposed to leave I cannot I force that. The only solution I can think of is if he continues to "miss the bus" or "sleep in" he will have to board with his dad Monday thru Friday or at the least Tuesday to Friday.


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Ok, so as mentioned in Claire's thread and a couple of others I kicked my self in the a$$ and went and filled the wheelie bin. It's recycling this week too.

Seems you can save $ real easy if you do have a massive sort out, I found in the book shelf a couple of books I was sure I owned and could not damn well find.
Don't give up Paul Hannah
The dance of anger (one I had no idea I owned but do now recall reading it when my h1 was really angry)
And the kicker from h1, boundaries in marriage, complete with underlines and all!

Oh dear oh dear! On the upside I don't have to buy anything to read.

Just glancing threw the boundaries book, might start the anger one.


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Boundaries. That's something I really don't know anything about.

I enjoy reading your thread gg. Just thought I'd let you know.

And now for a joke.

How did the hipster burn himself with his dinner?

He ate it before it was cool.

(Not so) Old Dog xx


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Hands old dog a home Made snag roll.
Lines them up for the other visitors.

Is ok I gal with some exercise today!
Well I jumped to a conclusion, very easily done. H cousin is getting my son to work for him this week on his farm. When he rings to organise the pick up he said "h first name" will pick up s16. Well as you guys know I'm not comfortable with h having contact due to the assult and h crazed behaviour. So I said instantly I'm sorry I'm just not comfortable with that!

HCousin then realised what he had said and stated he meant his manager same first name! blush oh dear me. Innocent mistake, but I guess i should have clarified.

There are a bunch of book about boundaries on different subjects. Marriage kids etc.

Now I'm going back to the program of 15-20 per day pma reading. Personal growth reading. All the stuff I was reading before h and in the beginning. He kept dising me on the books and gradually I just let it go.
Dale carnage etc dozens of titles. Need to just get in the habit.


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So so it seems the trend of the talking teen bucking the trend of the moody teenager who locks them self away is still happening.

Last night I hardly got any sleep, but I'm going to have work on that one in the future, as s16 wanted to talk. Strange thing is it was after I sat him down and read him the riot act ( well my version) of what I expect around here. Some boundaries in a nice way, calm and with all of things I've been working on. He was told no and a temper tantie ensued. Then after a while he got control and we sat down and really talked thus the boundaries.

Later he then came out with major pester power to make me change my mind, which didn't happen, but he wanted to connect and talk just in general later which is a 180 for him.

Today he got his food, for camping trip with his mates, but no mention of the alcohol he was pestering for. Which I said no to. Things I noticed was he pestered less, and when the issue was finished yesterday he didn't try to re open it. Also something he would have continued on.

Both things are a change, guessing I'm finally doing something right. I'm finding it easier and he's responding better.

Oh and the big spotted dog stole the egg plant I bought to put on my pizza. Guess his love handles were hungry. grin yes he ate the lot!

Got to focus this weekend, need to really get on horsey chores, need to continue the de clutter, do some bills, continue the yard clean up, get studying for truck licence and building my yards.

The sawn off ponies (aka as minis) need the starvation yard again, they have not been on the divorce diet and are fatter than ever so they need to be cornered as well. They do know however when they might be going on a diet and so run as soon as they see me of late. wink

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?




A piece of a$$ that brings a tear to your eye!


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Great job with the kid. I've been having discussions with my older S who still lives with me. They continue to test the boundaries, they never seem to give up.

Quote:
A piece of a$$ that brings a tear to your eye!


Haha! Good one!

If my dog ate an entire eggplant, the house would reek for days! His butt would become a battlezone!


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Well this morning the biggest spot was eyeing off the ' nanas on the fruit bowl. That's just what you need to go with egg plant 'nanas! The lambs been dubbed sheldon as he was quiet special when he was less than a week sucking with his tounge out the side of his mouth. grin

It's just the teen child, he's difficult at times. This week I also had a long conversation with xh1 turns out s16 has been telling him the reason why he never has any money to spend is because mum takes his $. Um not true, I expect if s16 wants to choose expensive stuff he needs to pay.

Eg, if s16 wants a phone I will buy cheap supermarket model. If s16 wants iPhone and is prepared to pay that's ok, I will buy it, but I expect to be repayed. Um nope hasn't happened yet, the repayment. Hence the limit has been set, money up front.

Which was what the long conversation was about, I set limits. No more I will pay and you pay me back, then the cycle continues with s16 promising to pay and not doing so.

He also thinks its his right to tell me in a partner sense how to and what to with my life. It's gunna change. I need to just gently gently push things that way.
Now I have been reminded of how.

And nitty the joke just appealed, to my warped side.


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Well, guess setting boundaries didn't work. Seems someone thiefed the 'nanas.

Bugga, anyone got tips for waywards hounds! wink


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That's a whole different expertise required there.


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It's alright, I didn't see him do it but just noticed when I wanted one the whole bunch of 6 was missing. He then wanted an egg later so stole one of those off the bench too. Oh and someone had a number 2 accident on the floor and I suspect another someone cleaned up! Eeeeeeeeewwwww! The wrong doer I have no idea I but don't need to guess who cleaned up. The spotty biatch. sick sick


Cinnamon scrolls anyone? That was tonight's little treat, as it was far to windy to head outside and do outside stuff. Filled a bin bag (for the wheelie bin challenge) and filled a box with recycling as well. Dining room is now fit for a db dinner party. Home made from scratch pizza for lunch as well. Threw a few things out of the kitchen and cleaned the dust and grease off the spices. All that cleaning was procrastination for not vacuuming the house, well I feel I should do behind everything once or twice a year. It was bd in feb when I did it last so it's well and truely due. Dusted lots of stuff found a couple more books like another boundaries book another by Florence littauer and the magic of thinking big.

The re ordering and de cluttering is still under way. Decided to put some good stuff out into the kitchen so I can start using them, like the crystal salad/dessert bowl. I use my crystal wine glasses all the time, as its like good tea tastes better from china so does wine.

Washed make up brushes, did the washing as well. Was going to hear work pants but decided it was in the vacuuming pile too hard.


Last edited by Ggrass; 11/01/14 10:28 AM.

M 46 h54
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T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
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grin grin whistle
Ggrass runs into thread flapping Arms speaking Italian. ( you know fast English with wide had gestures) grin grin

Omg, today my golly gosh..... Just very excited.
It turns out ss25 has been half making conversations that concern r and settlement, while working with s16 on work experience. So I confronted him, in a db sort of way. Unfortunately by text as that is the only means open. So ss25 gets uppity starts to draw I didn't, i wasn't etc. I said I wanted his side. He talked big, in the fact he almost stated I'm Sweden I don't take sides.

I stated my expectations and told him if the topic comes up he's to shut it down he's the adult. He also without saying anything too much told me more than he ever realised too.
For a 180 I stood my ground, without being drawn. Whoooop whoop.

Then s16 tryed his hand, by being defiante. He was told, um no you promised this, didn't happen there is no discussion, no requests you need to be where I say when I say or I will not be collecting you. He then swore and so I acted. The phone was hung up (action) rather than endless talk.

And he was there. He was also told miss one more day of school and your staying within walking distance of school.

Which is a very long way from his new gf! Oh dear so sad!
He was very mature admitted he was fing up. Instead of dropping swear words on me and abuse.

So around a great day, but I was having a flat mood, but the good far outweighs any flat mood.

Got so many invites this weekend to Do stuff, I'm not sure how to fit it all in.


M 46 h54
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T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
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I can see why you're excited. smile


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I know, small very exciting things.

Oh I also paid my retainer. H who was supposed to be doing the no disputed returns in the last 30 days didn't bother, but did however find time to email this morning crazy grin wanting to know what mediated deal I wanted.

Not sure he like his reply. My l will be in contact! wink grin

If I go to dinner sat at work mates place she has organised me a partial blind date. Well I saw his pic, poor bloke has no clue he's being set up. blush grin
Given last week I kept dreaming of cough splutter romance! This poor bloke could be I serious trouble!


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Be gentle with him..... wink


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Blind date? Can he have his vision corrected?

smile


Me 54 Him 63
M 23 T 29
0 Kids
Funny Farm of Rescues
12/12 OW--
5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied
9/13 Proof OW: ENDED
2/14 Got D papers on my BD
I kicked him out for my sanity
9/14 He wants to "talk"?



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That would be more of an only in focus at a distance date surely....


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Bloke lives hours away. So distance is not my thing, but I will go as I like food and company. wink the dinner will be fun.


M 46 h54
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T 11y
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Seems son missed bus again, yet again there was a valid reason.

This time aged pony was stuck in the plain wife fence upside down! Sish. He went to a job with a mate. Completed his chores from yesterday after our words.

So I guess the actions will show, when I get home. Have some paperwork and stuff to organise this arvo. Need to get stuff for L. Oh and it's 12 months since h started acting angry, he was weird all last year, but only towards nov did things get really bad. The phone calls in the yard, the texting while we were shopping, the temper tanties and the accidental camping trip! wink completely innocent right!


M 46 h54
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Oh dear me, h1, there's becoming an issue there.

I'm not kidding but I think he's been waiting 11years for the break up from h2. He's now suggesting Christmas lunch as a family at his house. Please some body Poke me in the eye with a fork, it would be far more fun!

I think I made a huge mistake of trying to be more generous and co parent more, this with a man that held me hostage, used my child as a lever to stop me from leaving him at a cafe after the break up, threats to kill me funeral arrangement for his funeral, threats of suicide the list goes on.

He creeps me out, but after 17 years it seems he's trying to be a parent albeit I very permissive one who rewards bad behaviour.

He most certainly isn't strong man material and still plays a door mat type role.

So pease cancel Christmas! crazy I just don't want to play.

Last edited by Ggrass; 11/05/14 09:22 AM.

M 46 h54
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T 11y
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I think there would be a bunch of support for cancelling Christmas round here.

He might genuinely want to be a better father and that's great. You don't need to play along though you just need to be prepared to give him the opportunity (father not happy families)

Treat him like you would a wounded wallaby with a hangover. (Trying for Aussie animal references)


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Put to sleep is what happens to native write offs! While I would love to hit him in the face with a shovel and burry the remains under my tank stand, that would be illegal. wink

I would gain too much pleasure to do it just once! He's welcome to Christmas Day Boxing Day too! grin
I will not be part of the deal. I can earn $ on Boxing Day if I am forced to work my contract $50ph for 8 hours, yes please.

Oh and without h2, I will get to actually see my family. He expected I would put his family first every year, his mums a widow you know wink

Mine was too, he would never allow or make his siblings take turns at having her.

Last edited by Ggrass; 11/05/14 09:37 AM.

M 46 h54
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I know that feeling. Haven't had a holiday in 4 years without MIL and yet apparently I was driving a wedge between them. Last year was the first Christmas not at MILs - maybe that's why she left me.


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H1 hated Christmas he hated traditional food he hated present he hated shopping he drank everyone else's beer.

Guess what his first complaint was when he missed the first one at separation?
What am I Going to do for christmas?
To him even tho he complained bitterly about it enjoyed it, and when it was taken away his view changed.

He has been a changed human. He hasn't made a death threat in 5 years. Although I cannot hold a grudge it's so weird the r is so damaged I won't trust him period. I'm so done on that I cannot work out why I stayed so long.

I so related to shinnings first h.


M 46 h54
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Omg I'm sick, dreaded vomiting and the other. Haven't eaten since yesterday's lunch.
Slept 15 hours fit fully.

Blind dates off, appears he heard he would be graped, well grape a single and grapeds a bunch grin wink they are coming on a flying trip, arrive midnight leave dawn. So to bad, looks like he avoiding the big meet up. His loss.

Going to a horsey event on weekend, hopefully some hawt cow boys to chat too. If this dreaded bug leaves me alone. My stomach is still hurting and tender to touch on the outside of my skin.
Mate from interstate is coming for 2 days as well, got Sunday out with her. Busy busy.


M 46 h54
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What does "would be graped" mean?

I've been out of the dating world a LOOOONG time.

Good luck with the cowboys and feel better soon. Good thing about a stomach bug? Better than Spanx. smile

Feel better! And maybe see a doctor? Tender to the touch on the outside is not a good sign...


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Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

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Drop the g on graped! Lol wink
I would hardly say dating, but boy the dreams could sell a million DVD of the x rated variety. Rolls eyes.

It was just super bad cramps all night Wednesday and yesterday. I think my stomach was worn out. Feeling cautious about tummy. So far breakfast has not be returned for a refund.

Might be time for a second coffee.

Bestie will go with to see the horsey thing, so at least if I freak out she can either nail me down or distract me or drive me home if I need it. I was hoping to see one of my customers, who's wife did same thing to him as my h did to me. He's in a far worse place than me, and been separated far longer.

As a farmer he a risk for sucide, they do tend to opt for guns when things go crapola. His openly visibly depressed, in public, I would hate to see the train wreck in private.
I feel a couple of is from work have helped him each time he comes in, just to, listen.
I'm hoping he's doing better.


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Wow. That story makes me feel really lucky.

Have you offered him the book? I try to keep an eye on people who might be open to it when they cross my path. Not everybody is. There's one woman in my town who went scorched earth on her H and as a result she's starting to burn her own bridges. She and I have a lot of mutual connections but she clearly has no liking for me. I'm part of the scorched earth policy even though I don't know her H from Adam.

Interestingly my ...desires... have not yet returned. I'm impressed you're ...bouncing back... so nicely. The idea of sex is NOT a turn on at the moment.

Glad you're feeling better. Enjoy the cowboys!!


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
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It's not a day time thing so much. Happens in my dreams ever Tuesday night, almost like clock work.

Hmmm.... Threads at 99 suppose we should change hands, lol to stop cramps.... Or at least start a new one. Have new title that occurred to me a couple of posts ago.


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Doesn't sound like you've had much fun. Hope you're feeling better.

It certainly would have been memories for him...


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This ones gunna lock jim!


M 46 h54
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T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
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