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Joined: Aug 2014
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I have been depressed and anxious for 5 years after losing my retirement and not being able to find a job after I lost my last one a year ago. My wife has had it with my condition with Psychiatrists, Psychologists and drugs not helping my condition. I am trying to get her to get counseling vs waiting for divorce papers to be served. What should I say to her to hopefully have her participate in counseling that again, I hope will help the situation even though I am in bad mental shape. I thought "I love you and I know our relationship isn't the best but in praying about it, I know God would like us get counseling and I would like to do the same. Would you be willing to?" What do you think? Any suggestions?

Joined: Jul 2014
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Work on you, not your W. Get active, be social, and see what you can do about the depression.

I doubt words will change her mind. Effort and change might.

Hang in there, be patient, and everyone here is rooting for you.

Last edited by Joe1981; 08/21/14 10:57 PM.

Me: 34 W:33
T: 10 M: 6
S: 6 D: 5
BD: 5/14
Still together(ish)
Not giving up: 7/14
D talk has slowed, a lot.
Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms.
Slow and Steady wins the race.
Joined: Jun 2007
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Welcome aboard. Can you give more history about your M? What are your ages, how long married, have kids?

If you have not read Divorce Remedy, then that's the first step in helping your M.

Don't give up and be sure to post every day.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 276
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And, seriously, listen to the vets on here. ^^ such as ^^ They know what's up. Those of us still battling try to help each other all we can with our perspectives, but we're all struggling still too.

The vets have seen it all. sandi2, 25yearsmlc, mach1, labug...there are many more, but these are the first 4 to come to mind.

Post often, try to keep paragraphs short (advice I got from a vet), and try not to panic. Don't let your mind race to the worst case scenarios. Been there, done that...not good at all. It just makes things worse.

Again, nothing you say or do will convince your W to change her mind. At least not right now. You can't fix how she feels.

Focus on you. Become the best you possible.

We're all in this together man. We're rooting for you and want this to go well for you. Be strong.


Me: 34 W:33
T: 10 M: 6
S: 6 D: 5
BD: 5/14
Still together(ish)
Not giving up: 7/14
D talk has slowed, a lot.
Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms.
Slow and Steady wins the race.

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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