Fatal Attraction is particularly gratifying at the end
There was a cheesy TV movie I watched the other night called Betrayed where the H had an affair with his wife's best friends daughter. His world didn't implode quite as much as he deserved but some.
The Other Woman, whish is relatively new, is HILARIOUS. The wife actually teams up with OW (who is duped as well bc she doesn't know she's an OW) and gets back at the H. I've watched it like 4 times.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
H invited me to the beach again today with the kids. I said no again. I actually have legit plans, friend coming over to help me trim some hedges.
So that's basically the 3rd time he's invited me to do something and I've declined. Two beach invites and lunch yesterday. Should I invite him to do something at this point or continue to let it be? Of course I did initiate the hockey thing but left before we actually got to spend any time together.
Thoughts?
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
You had a legitimate reason not to be able to hang today; you had plans. Don't stress over it.
I would also encourage you (again) not to fret over a possible negative impact to the kids re: you guys hanging as a family. Carve out time when possible to spend with H, sure. But the family is a dynamic I'm betting he's missing. So I think you should feel free to pitch an idea that involves all of you.
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
Unbidden, I think mdu is trying to make sure cake eating doesn't happen and trying to create a slight sense of mystery while keeping her pma up. It seems her pma takes a nosedive when spending too much time together.
Mdu, good for you! I would think maybe something asking the lines of the hockey game would be good (but I am no expert) a little bit of time together but without expectations
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
K, thanks everyone. I guess I'm hesitating around doing things with H primarily because of the whole pursuit/distance dynamic. I want to be sure I don't present myself as just waiting around for him to spend time with me. Also, I'm working on being more patient. Especially once we hang out together I want him home and I want it NOW. I'm trying to force myself to slow it down.
But I've got some things cookin (literally and figuratively)...
H will be dropping off the kids shortly after their day at the beach. I have lentil soup cooking (which he loves and makes the house smell yummy) and will invite him to eat --- or at least take some home with him.
Also, the kids both have school appointments on Wednesday. I'm not sure if he is going but if he does I think we have a bit of a break in between appts so I will suggest we get a little lunch in between if we have time.
Had a really good, productive day so far. Went for a run, did a bunch of errands then my friend came over to help me in the yard. We hit some road blocks --- found a giant wasps nest right where we were hoping to do some pruning! --- but now that she's advised me what to do I'm psyched to handle it on my own once I conquer the wasps nest. Yet another adventure!
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
H dropped the kids off and had a bowl of soup. We did not sit down all together to eat bc kids were bathing and not yet hungry but H at least had some. We chatted a bit but he did not hang around long.
Interestingly, he mentioned that everyone in his family went out to dinner last night to say good-bye to his eldest daughter who is headed back to college. He said he would have invited me but felt uncomfortable after I said no to going to lunch yesterday. I think I have to be careful about possibly sending him mixed messages and maybe should accept offers unless I really, truly have a conflict.
He seemed a bit off but frankly, I'm feeling a bit tired and probably come off as a little 'off' myself. He sent me a text after leaving thanking me again for the yummy soup.
Overall, not fantastic but basically a good encounter.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
