Just looking for more information on pleasing my wife. Read She Comes First and very informative about the women anatomy and oral sex. Just looking for information as one of my W complaints was that our sex life was not up to what she wanted. I am committed to saving the M and will try anything to please her and make her feel loved. Any other books you recommend?
Yes, I've read that book. Very informative. But you also have to ask your wife what she likes -- the details and what overall style. Does she want to be ravaged? Or does she want to be in control? Does she enjoy fantasy, role-play? A little Fifty Shades of Grey stuff? Did she read any of those books?
...one of my W complaints was that our sex life was not up to what she wanted. I am committed to saving the M and will try anything to please her and make her feel loved. Any other books you recommend?
I will echo the comment about asking your W what she meant by not up to what she wanted. That could mean a whole bunch of things and might also take some introspection on your part as you might not get completely honest answers from her.
Do you need to loose weight? Do you need to get in better shape or more limber? Do you need to become more romantic? Do you need to dress better, smell better and look more like a magazine ad? Do you need to learn certain sex techniques (CAT, different positions, oral sex)? Does she have fantasys that she would like to explore? Does she crave sexual variety that she isn't getting from you? Does one of you always initiate or do you mix it up? Do you schedule sex, or argue over when it happens or doesn't?
Since this is the SSM area, perhaps the most important questions have to do with frequency and how often she orgasms, or whether she feels good about what she is asked to do for/with you. My wife told me that sex made her feel like a failure and that was the only thing in her life that she felt like a failure at. (In therapy she eventually admitted it was other issues, but she clung for the longest time to her belief that she avoided sex because it made her feel like no matter what she did it was never good enough.)
I think that "she comes first" is a great book. Moregasms from Babeland is a great introductory book. Some of the books that did the most for my relationship were on couples massage and reflexology foot massage. Also Michelle's SSM book and Chapmans 5 languages of love really taught me a lot about what I could do differently.
Good luck.
>43 years of marriage--My wife and I are now closer than we have been in decades. I believe that my SSM is over.
