I vote yes on the text, I would just keep it simple and short and not get into a long exchange.
I also wanted to weigh in about your house in winter. I live out in the woods on ten acres, and when I met with my husband post-BD, I made it very clear that I still expect him to do some upkeep around the house since it is his children's home as well. he needs to do things like clean the gutters, clean the chimney, dig us out if it snows and finish the treehouse he started for D6. It's entirely appropriate to expect his help with these things - because it is still the family home as long as the kids are living here.
Finally - just have to be nosy and ask - was the TV show "Outlander"?
It's not so much that the upkeep itself is so much, I always did that anyway and we outsource most of it because of the size and shape of the house and grounds. Just the sheer weight of being snowed in constantly, losing power frequently, etc. My H missed most of it last year before we separated because he was traveling for work, but at least I knew he felt badly about it and appreciated my resourcefulness in keeping things together. I don't know what I'm actually afraid of anyway, except that being left with it all by myself feels heavy.
Silly me.
I guess I'll go to dinner. He's asked four times now, he must mean it.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Why don't you do an either/or. Pick either the text message or the dinner- whichever you want to do more.
You know - I was a little worried about watching Jamie Fraser in my current state of mind - thought it might be too hard to watch such an idealized male figure. Think its a good sign that I said - "Screw it, H isn't ruining this for me - I will watch and enjoy!"
I haven't responded to his invitation yet. I think I should not go, but I don't know how to reply to him the best way. I welcome suggestions if anyone has any. Thanks!
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
What would be your pros and cons against having a family dinner together? Obviously you know your sitch better than anyone, but as you mentioned earlier, it seems like a family dinner might be a nice thing. Plus, it gives you a chance to show up looking awesome and rocking the PMA.
M:35 W:31 S: 9 D: 5 M: 11.5 yrs BD: 5/13 W moved out: 7/13
Hi Maybell, I get that you want one on one time with him and I also get that you don't want to play happy family just to please him.
I think when the WAH does this kind of thing they miss that comfort of your relationship and want to have it again. And that is why he is asking. It could mean more or not.
But if you don't feel like going then don't. Just tell him you need time to yourself to do some things today. Or whatever. Perhaps you could even be a little honest and say "not tonight but maybe we can have dinner another time". If he really wants to see you maybe he will understand you mean have dinner just the two of you...?
I like the proposed text about the big meeting. Friendly, not clingy. Just nice.
Hugs, LisaB
Me: 34 H: 30 M: 4 years BD: 6/15/14 He moved out 6/30/14 OW1: EA then PA after BD Now he's dating multiple OWs I'm over it and moving on.
Jamie Fraser is the bomb. 