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Last edited by Gotan74; 08/11/14 12:29 AM.

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My W and I spent the day together we went to several places and enjoyed each others company. Starting to get use to letting her talk and start conversations. She said that she needed to get a birthday cake for me and she did. The kids were outside playing so we ate dinner together on the couch watching tv. She then invited the kids down to watch TV together this was one of my first goals to get her out of the bedroom where she isolated herself.


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W and I had a talk and she told me that she is having a hard time with talking about our R. She said that the areas that allow her to talk have dried up. I told her I understand and that if and when she was ready to talk she it would be there to listen.


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Hi Gotan, you handled the talk with your W well. So tell us, did you confront the OM?


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
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No, I did not. Did a lot of reading on it and it was 50/50 on what to do. She never cheated so I am just taking it as her talking to a friend. On another note she called and asked if she could come home today after we went to the gym. She has a business trip and wanted to spend time with the kids and I before she leaves.


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Picked W up from the train station yesterday. We went to the gym and after she asked if she could get a pedicure
. I said sure and took her to a place near where our son was practicing football. After her nails were done we picked up our son and headed home. We got home and I fixed dinner. We talked in bed until she fell asleep. We slept close to each other and she didn't tell me she was hot and to move over. Got up this morning and took her to the train station. She told me she loved me and she went to work. I have been trying to be patient with her and I think it's working. I have also tried to be a gentleman with her and that also seems to be having good results she allows me to help her in and out of the car which requires me to touch her. I have been getting more intimate with these gestures bit not going to far, trying to stay out of the friend zone.


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W is back home for the night and she seems to be in a bad mood. I asked her if she is alright and she said that she was tired. I left it at that and didn't push, I stayed in the room and read and talked with her when she talked. She also seemed a little upset when I said that when the kids go back to school I will also be going to work.


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So, I am noticing that my W has cut down on communication last week. I am hoping it's just because she has been busy with work. If it was just me then I could understand but she has only spoken to the boys when she is at home. She also has been a little snippy in some conversations. Therapist. Thinks that she may be thinking about what she has done to her family and is starting to regret her decision. I am trying to stay positive and don't show her that these things are affecting me. Following DB and 5lls seems to be making progress but it's hard to tell with no feedback from W.
Kids are starting fall sports and trying to reconnect with W and keep the kids happy is a struggle to do alone.


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Hi Gotan, so what made think there was an OM and an EA taking place? Your W left you, and you think there is an EA, she is the bread winner, why did she ask you if she could have a pedicure? Maybe you could give us a little more detail here.

Also, maybe you could put a little more detail in your tagline so others can more easily follow along. Any progress on cutting back with your kid's sports?


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 188
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As far as the OM and the EA there is a guy at work she texts and talks to. I know that it is rarely about work but she said it is. I guess she turned to him because I was less then receptive in the past.

As far as the pedicure I should have said she asked if I could take her to get a pedicure.

It's football season son the S that played the most sports is in high school now. It's less travel for me and all I have to do is drop him off. He is still going to play club lacrosse.

The younger S is not playing club lacrosse which is now a problem we are dealing with. I explained to the boys it was a lot but they said they enjoyed it and no matter how I phrase it the older of the two blames his mother and is also influencing his younger brother.

The sports was a lot in the spring but it would have been a lot better with help. I am not blaming her for this but she never really realized the things she wanted to do with the kids is not the same thing the kids wanted to do.


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