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raliced #2478309 08/12/14 09:05 PM
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Hi, I am sorry for the situation you are in. One of our Divorce Busting Coaches can really help you navigate those conversations regarding your daughters. Divorce Busting coaches will give you the best guidance on how to save your marriage and get things moving in a more positive direction. Please call me to discuss our coaching program 303-444-7004.

Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004


A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.

Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Cristy #2478446 08/13/14 04:36 AM
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Is it weird that I'm not jealous of the OW at all? I do wonder about her (does she have kids, if she is some sort of drama queen etc...) and what her situation is - but strangely I'm just not jealous. Maybe I'm living in a complete fantasy land - but I just can't believe that a relationship that starts under these circumstances is going to have any kind of positive future.


2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
raliced #2478651 08/13/14 05:56 PM
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Tomorrow is is first day of school for D6. Hate that it will be just me taking her. Last year when she started Kindergarten, H and I walked on either side of her, each holding a hand. Breaks my heart to think of how much her life will be changing. I feel physically ill every time I try to visualize sitting her down and explaining a divorce to her. It sure makes me wonder if H has even thought about things like this. I was going to text him a picture of her tomorrow in front of her new classroom.

I guess I should say since I haven't before - that I do want to save my marriage. Sometimes I wonder if I will still feel the same way in 6 months. I spend so much time hoping that H will come out of affair fog and want to work with me that I haven't really thought if I would ever be able to get past all this.


2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
raliced #2479088 08/14/14 07:39 PM
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H is picking up girls for a few hours tomorrow night and then taking them for the day on Saturday. Dreading that he will inevitably take them out of town again on Saturday.

Hope I can get past that discomfort soon.


2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
raliced #2479099 08/14/14 07:56 PM
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raliced,
So sorry to hear you are in this situation. Whatever happens in your M, you are in good hands here. This forum has been a true life-line for me. Someone told me early on here that, even though we start DB to try to save our marriage, it becomes clear that whatever happens with our M, we will save ourselves through this process, and be able to be strong, healthy role models for our kids.

Hang in there.


Me 38 H 40
D 3
T 8 M 6
BD 10/2013

claire7 #2479300 08/15/14 01:12 PM
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Sometimes - its the little things. Yesterday I got the official notice from the post office that H has forwarded his mail. This morning - I realized that he has actually taken the time to rename my email address. Instead of just "Ruth" - it now reads "Ruth-girls mother". I guess now that he's a bachelor again, he has time to consider and make all these practical and symbolic changes. Shouldn't really surprise me but does feel like a fresh gut punch.


2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
raliced #2479307 08/15/14 01:44 PM
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I know exactly what you mean, raliced. My W created a e-mail address using just her maiden name. Changed her last name in her Linked in account too.


M: 15 years
BD: 6/25/14
EA/PA: starts 5/14/14
11/30/14 - A ends
5/15/15 - D is finalized.
11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!
mindsin #2479429 08/15/14 07:54 PM
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Had 2nd appt with IC today. Not sure I find any of it comforting - but I suppose it's good to talk about things with a neutral third party. Told her how my husband had changed my email address from "Ruth" to "Ruth- Girls Mother" and she actually said "Ouch! that was really a decisive statement from him, wasn't it?". Told her a little bit about my approach with DB and I'm preferring to only believe about half of his actions right now :-)


2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
raliced #2479590 08/16/14 03:25 AM
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Sigh - I know I'm supposed to detach in thought as well as action - but when I drove to pick up D6 from school today - I saw H's truck in a parking lot in between the Post Office and the park an hour and a half before he was supposed to pick up the girls (he lives in a different town now) and my heart and mind both started racing wondering what I was doing.

When he brought the girls home - I wasn't here yet. As soon as I parked the car, he immediately rushed out to his truck and drove away. You'd think I was the one who cheated and left, based on what I guess is his hostility to me.


2 Ds: 7 and 4
BD and Sep: 7/14
Divorce Final 2/16
raliced #2479593 08/16/14 03:29 AM
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Or his guilt?

Remember that flipped thinking thing? If your mind runs to a negative interpretation of something you flip it and think of a positive interpretation.

Then you don't believe either one -- you just acknowledge either is possible.

Detachment takes a while. Just keep at it.


Me42, H40
D12, S8, S7
A revealed: 7/13
Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15

She believed she could, so she did.
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