Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Sorry the phone bill was opened. I didn't see that it was yours when I opened it. (Rrrriiiiiiiiiggghhtt.....) Do you have time today to talk about the realtor and sell prices?
I can after 5:30.What did you have in mind?
Talk and let you know my thoughts and you can let me know if you agree or not
I asked him to call my cell. This house thing is his problem. He wanted to stay in it, he wanted to S, he wanted to sell it..... BUT. He is irrational and impatient. He has threatened to just walk away from the house if it doesn't sell. His frustration level is high. I have let him sit in his tantrum for several weeks, including during repairs for the house. I did nothing to help.
I decided the thing that would benefit ME right now was to be accessible. Not to do anything for him, but help this get done since it benefits me. I also considered I'm not willing to just be difficult for the sake of throwing this responsibility in his face. I want to look at the facts, and do what's best...for me. If the new realtor is a better option....for me, then agree.
And he is better. The first one wouldn't do open house, and would only schedule showings by first calling him directly....very old school and not tech savvy. I'm hoping to have the house gone soon. It won't bring H back from lalaland. But it will be one more layer of the onion....one less thing he can blame his problems on. One less distraction from himself. He will find others, I'm sure. But this one has my name on it. As beautiful as it is, I'll be glad to see it go.
M44, H44, both M before M4 yrs, T6 BD 7/13 ILYB something isn't right with me H att suicide 2/14 S 4/14 OW disc 5/14 D final 4/15
Haha...I'm sure some must be imagining how I must look in person.... It is seriously the most random thing! That's why it doesn't even bother me. It's like saying I have duck feathers and a tail. Umm, ok.
I'm no supermodel, but I can still cause a double take, if you know what I mean!
M44, H44, both M before M4 yrs, T6 BD 7/13 ILYB something isn't right with me H att suicide 2/14 S 4/14 OW disc 5/14 D final 4/15
LOL. If he can't blame the house or you, then what? He'll find something to blame until..he dies or can't blame anything else. That's how it works. He's an avoider. It is what it is, right?
Quote:
Sounds like we have quite a long "sentence" to serve.
From you last thread: No, you don't. You have to serve that sentence for only as long as you choose. He made his choices. You make yours. When you're ready, you'll choose to not serve that sentence any longer. Again, it is what it is.
The thing is, you feel emaciated when this stuff first happens. You try to reclaim the "balance" and get your "power" back. Its not about power though. It's about him. Period. You are what you are and who you are. He can't change that. Only you can, if you need to.
You have the key. It's up to you. It doesn't have to be out of anger, and I don't suggest that it should be. You can and should lovingly let him go. Completely. For your own sake and his.
When you're ready.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
My S18 just got accepted into a prestigious high-level program out of state. He would leave in about a month. H has no idea S18 even applied. After we S, we all reevaluated our goals, life, future.... And this opportunity came up. S18 is beyond the moon excited!
So my question...without expectation of an enthusiastic or any particular response from H, is it appropriate to at least communicate this new thing?
H is basically out of our lives for the past 3 months, although we live 1/2 mile away. I'm spinning a bit on this one.
I can argue both sides of the coin.
I'm just not sure where it falls in DBing.
M44, H44, both M before M4 yrs, T6 BD 7/13 ILYB something isn't right with me H att suicide 2/14 S 4/14 OW disc 5/14 D final 4/15
Update... As I submitted last post, H sent a text asking , "how are you and the kids?"
Holy buckets. That was weird.
I was planning to put him off. I only responded "we're good. Lots to update if you are interested."
H replied "sure"!
I told him it was too much to text, and he could call later.
He said, "or we would meet for a soda?"
Not overly encouraged, nor am I thinking he wants me. This means nothing other than touch and go, curious, looking for validation he made right decision, fishing... Idk.
Right?
Either way, this is a new thing for me. Idk what to do.
M44, H44, both M before M4 yrs, T6 BD 7/13 ILYB something isn't right with me H att suicide 2/14 S 4/14 OW disc 5/14 D final 4/15
