Have I any hope.... (Part 3)

[bashy]

Thanks tarheel. It's gonna be hard but I needed to do it. I was waiting by the phone when not busy. It was killing me. There were definite positive things between us recently but she's obviously in a different place. She admitted herself that her head is all over the place but I needed to make a stand. I can't be the person to be used as the great family man that she enjoys but then has OM to enjoy other things with.
If she does come back then I can worry about that then but I've made a stand. I'm moving on. Time will tell.

[Maybell]

Bashy, I'm sorry you got to that place but I'm also kind of proud of you. It takes real strength to come to that kind of decision and I think you're doing the right thing.

That said, I also think Tarheel is right. When you're ready to throw in the towel on NC be sure you've lined up your support team here, and make sure it includes Mr. Bond and Starsky. I'll be here. I know others will be too.

Keep us posted on how you're doing in the meantime!

[bashy]

Thank you sooo much Maybell. Your words mean a lot. This decision wasn't a ploy to win her back. This is real NC. No more helping her. I'm scared but feel a little liberated but tbh as much as I've seen real warmth from her recently it all feels definite. I won't be filing for divorce though. She can do that which I don't think she will. Onwards and upwards

[Maybell]

I know it's not a ploy. It was self-protection. But life is long and often takes unexpected turns.

[bashy]

I really hope you are right! Ty

[Old Dog]

Hey bashy, this just means you have the opportunity to leave all this mess behind and rebuild your self belief.

With this decision will also come relief.

And we'll be still here for you should you need to vent.

Old Dog xx

[bashy]

Thanks old dog. It means a lot!

[bashy]

D just told me WAW has new flowers in her living room... they're the ones I got her. She either just likes them or they mean something.... mind reading again. Today is difficult. Got a text from WAW asking was I collecting D from school. She knew I was. I told her two days ago in our final contact that I would collect her every Friday. I responded politely by saying yes and could she bring my stuff to my dads when collecting D. She replied 'ok will do'.
NC will continue but it's hard on days when you are alone about thinking 'have I done the right thing' or 'if only I'd done this or that different'.
One thing I forgot to mention I think in the previous post during out final chat was she said she loves spending time as a family and family unit but when we are together she doesn't have 'those' feelings for me. I suppose that's why I said above about doing the right thing.

Funny how I said I was done yet I'm back within a couple of days lol

[bashy]

It's been nearly two weeks since I told WAW we were done and in that time nothing from her bar D talk the odd time. D told me the flowers I bought WAW are in their living room but that mummy's friend bought them.

I'm getting on better than I have been. Getting out with friends Ty . Actually going to join a soccer team even though I'm 36. D says she'd love to come and watch. So I'm feeling a lot more detached but can't help thinking most days that my marriage is definitely over.

[Maybell]

Do you remember Thornton? He went no contact for 6-8 excruciating weeks. Every day, sometimes a couple of times a day, he had to be encouraged to stick with it. We never hear from him anymore because his W was willing to baby step back to him.

And if you want a cautionary tale, check out Tarheel and also DBinSF in infidelity.

You went NC to protect yourself. You are worth it.