Have I any hope.... (Part 3)

[bashy]

Heh Mat. Thank you. Since the zoo we've had one correspondence when I asked how her kidney infection was and to say thanks for a lovely day. She responded saying thank you for treating her and D and she enjoyed also. Nothing since (that was Wed and today is Sun).

Collected D today. Usually go into house etc but rang and told WAW to send D out as I needed to go back home to get ready to go out. She responded 'oh, ok'.... sounded surprised. I waited on D and headed straight out. Little small talk at door.

The next few weeks should be interesting. I have D all week for the first time so WAW will have all the time she wants with OM. She doesn't need for anything now either bar D cus she's moved out of marital home. So she has no reason to contact. I will continue staying dark and GAL but just get the feeling that this is it. The process is beginning for her to move on with new life without me.

[Maybell]

Too soon to say, bashy, you never know what the future holds.

One day at a time. Enjoy your daughter!

[bashy]

Hi Maybell Ty. Had appointment with a doctor through work via video feed. Gave her all my woes. She says I'm in a bad place now what with WAW, loosing home, my dad etc but says I seem to be acting correctly with getting things in order.

I've been recommended to take another month or two off work and (something WAW always wanted) going in day shift for a while. Not sure if work can accommodate me but I'll try.

Feeling a little hopeless after. Just feel there is no way back for me and WAW. She has the new home, OM etc and life is rosy for her. There's no interaction anymore but I suppose I just need to continue GAL and detaching and hope she misses me.

Cinema today with D should be nice. Plus things to do with her every day this week. Need to keep my head.

[Maybell]

Things may be rosy with OM at the moment but you can bet that will change. Your signature line says she doesn't want to be a housewife anymore. What does she think the alternative is? She has a D. She has OM. She has a home. What's the difference? "housewife" is everyone's fate. Eventually she will notice that. And your nice day at the zoo, your history together, and your daughter are all points in your favor.

Enjoy your week and keep up the PMA.

[bashy]

Thank you Maybell. You know what I'm going through. Just one of those days.

[bashy]

Having a great week with D. Getting along great as usual. Missed a call from WAW yesterday. I replied: 'Sorry I missed your call'. She text back: 'Just wondering how D is getting along'. I kept my reply short: 'We're have a great time. thanks'. She texts back: 'That's good. Tell her I lover her and miss her.' I replied: 'K'.

Then had appointment with C. Told her about helping with move and zoo. She's says she doesn't like giving hope but the discussion about staying over on Xmas eve and asking if I had OW made her think there is unfinished business between us. Also asked me was I sure OM was still in picture.

Hadn't thought of that but don't really want to or my mind will go into overdrive. Just wondering what the vets think? Should I continue darkness? Ask WAW if she wants to join us on a day out at weekend or just carry on dark?

It doesn't feel right to ask her to join us. I want her to ask me to join her and D someday. That would be great progress. Any help would be great.

[bashy]

Some days I'm strong and others I'm not. Reading back on my thread I can see this then find I backslide on promises I make to myself.

WAW rang last night while I was in work sorting sick leave. She then text could I get D to ring her. I've no credit and ask her to ring. She rings and we chat and I tell her about the fun D and I have been having. She then asks to speak to D. I hear her a little asking D about our week. D is tired and gives one of two word answers. I hear WAW ask D what's wrong. 'Nothing' D says. Then WAW asks to speak to me. Asks what's wrong with D. I tell her we are all tired after swimming although I was upbeat on phone. I can tell it worries her a little that D is having a great time with me but then D seems off with her. She admitted before that D seems to enjoy time with me more than her. I certainly don't want that though.

So I email a photo of painting D has done later that evening. Email was titled 'Hairdresser and future artist'. No reply till this morning. Saying it's brilliant. Back and forth email about D then she asks is she awake. I say no. Says she's really missing her. I ask (big mistake) if she was up my way did she want to join D and I for Burger King/KFC. She says no cus it would be too hard to leave D again as she missed her so much. I say no worries. She then tells me she'll ring later.

She does so. Asks about D. Tell her we're going ten pin bowling. I put her onto D who proceeds to tell her all the fun we're having. Then asks D to speak to me. No real point to the start of our convo. but after small chat on D again on ground covered she asks how am I. She's done this before. Not sure y. From tone of voice it sounds like the time she told me of OM.... feeling sorry for me. But could be just trying to strike up convo. I say I'm good. I ask how she is then about her dad who is poorly again. She says he's gd and staying with her tonight to go to doctors tomorrow. Then asks about my dad.

At this point all our correspondence is about D. Suppose getting along good is great for D. Miss WAW like mad today. Just hope knowing D and I are having a great time is making her realise that we're a great family unit.

[bashy]

I'm reading DB for the second time but can't see were it talks about WAW script. I'm probably stupid. Can someone help me with what this goes like for her.

What are they thinking? To me, my WAW is loving her new independent life. She met me at 19. She never had a youth of holidaying with friends etc and dating numerous blokes. I was her second lover. I feel like she is thinking she missed out. But I know she knows I'm a good man. I turned my life around just before we married. I worked my ass off for her. But I neglected her needs ie spending time with her etc.

I feel so lost...

[Maybell]

Bashy, I think there's something in the air today, I raised the same question on my thread.

All I can say is, she's reached out to you a lot, so hopefully she's doing some thinking.

[bashy]

Heh Maybell. I've read your thread too but you seem so much more attuned to your sitch than I am. I hope you are right.