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dawgy Offline OP
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The last night we were alone she said she wanted to go be with him and i said no . And I wouldnt let her . She was very upset that i wouldnt let her go . Maybe thats why she is being nice , to butter me up for friday night . I can handle the thought of her being with him a few hrs here and there but the thought of her spending the whole night with him kills me . Cant she see how much pain that causes me ???


Me 45 W 45
Son 16 Son 14
Married 23 together 27
W threatened sep several times
W still at home
A discovered Mar 17 2014
A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 309
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dawgy Offline OP
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The last night we were alone she said she wanted to go be with him and i said no . And I wouldnt let her . She was very upset that i wouldnt let her go . Maybe thats why she is being nice , to butter me up for friday night . I can handle the thought of her being with him a few hrs here and there but the thought of her spending the whole night with him kills me . Cant she see how much pain that causes me ???


Me 45 W 45
Son 16 Son 14
Married 23 together 27
W threatened sep several times
W still at home
A discovered Mar 17 2014
A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 309
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dawgy Offline OP
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Peter , Starsky , Mlp, Sandi , anyone please chime in and give me an opinion on what to do Friday night ?


Me 45 W 45
Son 16 Son 14
Married 23 together 27
W threatened sep several times
W still at home
A discovered Mar 17 2014
A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 10,326
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She isn't caring how much pain she inflicts on anyone because this isn't about anyone but her.

Why don't you try something new? You make plans for Friday night that do not involve her. Don't tell her what they are but keep yourself busy.

Right now I realize how hard it is for you, but you have to pull yourself together. You are a seperate person and no one controls your emotions but you. I went through this 6 years ago and it is so strange realizing what I know now. I feel awfully grateful that people stuck with me until I got it. I am trying to offer you a path, not necessarily a shortcut but a path to get back to you and a life you can be proud of. None of us can say your wife will come back but I believe we are all trying to give you the best shot. Work on yourself.

kat


Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
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dawgy Offline OP
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No disrespect Kat but thats what i want to do but i dont want to do it if shes gonna be with the OM all night long . I cant accept that .Im not ready for her to go that far . I get very up tight thinking about her staying the night with him I get very uptight . Now it may have already happened but i didnt know about it so it didnt bother me . But I would know this time


Me 45 W 45
Son 16 Son 14
Married 23 together 27
W threatened sep several times
W still at home
A discovered Mar 17 2014
A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 924
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Reading this article is very helpful.
Perspective.
Thank you


Me-45 W-44
S21, S18, D15
T-27, M-21
BD Jan 2014
PA revealed March 2014
In-house separation - April 2015
I filed - Aug 2015
She moved out Oct 2015
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 309
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dawgy Offline OP
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Your sitch seems to be similar . Your signature is almost the same as mine even to the OM revealed in march lets compare notes


Me 45 W 45
Son 16 Son 14
Married 23 together 27
W threatened sep several times
W still at home
A discovered Mar 17 2014
A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 10,326
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 10,326
Didn't she just go "live" with him about a week ago? (Yes, I know she came back...did you find out why?) How are you going to try and stop her?


Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 924
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It seems that we do have very similar feeling and situations.

Last week I went through the situation of W going out of town over night for business and knowing that it is a strong possibility of OM being there. It is so hard to let go, but I did (so far). The articles about MLC explain a lot and gives much perspective about what may be happening with her.

It's a hope that the pain ends quickly - but it seems unlikely.


Me-45 W-44
S21, S18, D15
T-27, M-21
BD Jan 2014
PA revealed March 2014
In-house separation - April 2015
I filed - Aug 2015
She moved out Oct 2015
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 309
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dawgy Offline OP
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Posts: 309
No she went to her sisters for 4 days and told her we had a fight them she came home . I believe she is not sure about moving in with him because she knows her sons will never forgive her for that . And U-Turn my brother , you are a strong man and you dont deserve this . I applaud you for keeping it together and protecting your family . You are a man of integrity Big time .Im doin the same and I will not give up > Like Sandi s list do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel


Me 45 W 45
Son 16 Son 14
Married 23 together 27
W threatened sep several times
W still at home
A discovered Mar 17 2014
A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
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