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A quick update. I learned my W spent a long weekend with someone else. I had my S12 this weekend, and he slept for most of it bc of a weird sleep pattern he is in. So no fun for me this weekend.

So today I dropped off my dining room table to W (I got a new one, and she liked the old one) when I dropped off my son. It was unassembled, and she asked me to put it together. I just looked at her quizzically and just said "no". But I hate this. I would have put it together for anyone else in the world, but I also know that my being her friend for the past 13 months has done nothing. Let's hope a better week.


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
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I don't think you should have put it together. Let her feel the consequences of her actions. I would have taken advantage of the quite time and read or rented a movie. I have Roku and love not having to go renta movie and worry about returning it. I have hardly see any movies in the past few years do even older movies are new to me. smile

You will have a better week.

Kat


Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
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Kat you are great. Thank you for the reassurance about the dining room table. I just feel like instead of acting "indifferent", I am acting more like a SOB.

And yes, after the encounter with W I went out to enjoy a movie. Although I think the movie I watched ('Blended' with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore) was more for self-flagellation than for enjoyment. A movie about two "blended" families, and issues dealt head-on like divorce, cheating, failed attempt at reconciliation, etc. It had some tough scenes to watch. But perhaps I am just too raw right now.

Kat, I hope you had a great celebration of your birth. Have a great week too.


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
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I did thanks. I did a survey this afternoon and ...darn, I had to check the box 50-59. Felt it for the first time. Lol

Sometimes having the WAW see you not be the old you can have an impact. One of my good friends was really done with his marriage. He had found a new job, was selling the house, had really thrown in the rope. Just before the divorce hearing, she kind of snapped out of it and worked to get him back.

from what I can tell this is the kind of situation that works. The left behind spouse isn't playing games but is just getting to a better place for themselves.

Relationship movies are hard at first. I will admit the first divorce movie that I just loved was "it's Complicated". I laughed so much and it felt really good. You will get there.

kat


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S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
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Relationship movies and music were really hard for a long time. It's been about 2.5 years and I'm now able to watch/listen to anything. I still get emotional, but it's tolerable. In fact, sometimes I listen to relationship/love songs because it helps, now, to get out the feelings. I can't, though, listen to music that meant something to us as a couple. Bad Company is a NO NO.


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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Bad Company, hmmm. The only song I can think of is the classic 'Bad Company' ('til the day we die') song. What are the other songs that stir up your feelings? For me Journey's 'Separate Ways' is the one that strikes my heart.

A quick update, last night W called me to let me know that D17 in Argentina had to be seen by a doctor because of lung asthma problems. But she's ok. We actually had a nice 5 minute conversation, which we haven't had in several weeks. I told her about an interactive theater experience (which I emailed to D18) in town where there is a chained up zombie with a group of 12 theater goers. The zombie's chain is slowly extended while the theater goers search for clues on the location of a key to escape the room. If you don't locate it in 1 hour's time, its curtains for everyone.

My W said that sounded like lots of fun. I didn't go for the bait, instead I quickly changed subjects. Anyway, my W made clear that she is visiting friends and family for this upcoming week (instead of going out on dates), which sounded like a baby step to me. But NOOOO expectations here.


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 10,326
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Good. Keep those expectations low. It isn't what she says that you need to "look at" but her actions and what those are telling you.

Any luck on the job front?

Kat


Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Joined: Jun 2014
Posts: 942
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So it looks like I get to take my son12 and go up north to my brother and sister's cabins on a lake. My Mom and Dad will also be there. We will get to boat and fish, and hopefully eat and drink a little too much, and enjoy family. It should be fun!

Kat, I had a good interview last Thursday, but they won't get back to me for a few weeks. Seems like everything moves a lot slower during the summer.


Me-54 yrs; W: 50 yrs
4 kids- D: 22,20,19; S:15
"Trial" Divorce: 04/14 - 6/14
Separated: 06/2013- divorced 08/2016

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” War and Peace
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Hi Wet,
At first, acting "indifferent" feels like you're being an SOB because you are so used to being this persons H and taking care of them. I also felt (and sometimes still do) that way but have learned to let it go. You'll get used to it, don't worry.

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I just wanted to check in on you. Do you have plans to keep busy this weekend? Hope all is well!

kat


Me-53(and learning!)
S24, S21, D18, D17
Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
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