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I joined Match.com. I decided to try it for a month and see what happens


This is one thing you don't need to spend money on. I once joined and found all the same people I was getting on the free sites, so just join a free site. (I had the best luck on OKCupid, although I also found my first date on Plenty Of Fish. Overall, in my area, POF seemed to be a little more blue collar, OKCupid folks seemed a tad hipper. )

Online dating is not for everyone, but it has worked great for me. The important thing to remember, is it's just a way to meet - NOT a venue to conduct a relationship. Once you think you might have something in common, go directly to a coffee date. It's too easy to have a semblance of a relationship online, then you meet in person and there's no chemistry. Better to get a brief meet and greet out of the way sooner.

And don't give out personal information (like email addresses and phone numbers) until you've met someone - don't need any stalkers or anyone sexting you pictures of their junk wink

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To add to Ellie's pointers, I'd say that going to MeetUp events that resonates with you is a great way to meet people as well as volunteering. My aunt volunteers at her local food bank once a month which is a great GAL activity!

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Thanks for the tips Ellie and Wonka. I am not too impressed worth match but it's only been since Friday. So we will see how it goes. I'll try out OKCupid. I've heard bad things about plenty o fish.

So D had her tournament today. Games did not go well at all. We were slaughtered. But D played well. She got a participation trophy so she was thrilled. S won his game and he was really pumped about it. I dropped D off at J's so she could spend some time with him before I picked her back up and I dropped S off at youth group so I could chat with him.

It was a debacle at J's house this morning picking up D before her game. J called me and asked me to pick her up at 10 so I did. But in the meantime S was texting me and Telling me he couldn't find his shin guards. Hello...I don't live at dads anymore. Can't help you kiddo.

Got to J's and OW was packing up to head back to wherever she came from. Since her mom passed there is lots to do. I gave her my sympathies and she thanked me. She started talking to me about it, but I really didnt have time to listen so when D came outside I switched my attention to her. J came outside like a tornado shouting that he didnt have D's jerseys so I must have them. I explained that I put them in her backpack Wednesday morning so he would have them for this weekend. He swore up and down he couldn't find them. I swore up and down he had to have them. This went on for ten minutes. Finally he asked me to come into the house and look. I am not exaggerating when I say it took less than 30 seconds to find the bag with her uniform. If was hanging on the coat rack by the garage door behind her backpack.

I left soon after and S called me wishing I was still there. He said J kist screamed at him telling him how disrespectful and unappreciative he was. He made S feel horrible. I told S to let his dad know how he felt and to tell his dad how he hurt his feelings. S told J how he felt and said his dad said he was sorry but S didn't think he meant it.

I got to pick up D early tonight since J had to pick up OW's brother at the airport. That house stinks. It smells. Apparently OW's dog is having bladder problems and has peed all over the house. It looks and smells trashy. It's gross. And btw two photos of me are still on the wall. A pic of me with S on his first trick or treat and a pic of me and J's mom and my stepson. I wonder if OW is bugged by that? Hee hee.

What a huge bag of crazy. I wish my kids didn't have to deal with that.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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More crazy. Please bear with me while I vent.

So OW's mom died and J called to get my opinion on him taking the kids out of school to attend the funeral. I think it's unnecessary, J thinks it's a good "learning experience" which is bull...he is just saving face because OW wants them there. He is taking the kids out at 2:00 pm tomorrow and all day on Thursday. I told him I did not want them missing more than one day of school. Any more than that is ridiculous.

I read OW's mom's obit online and wasn't shocked to read that J and OW are engaged, but highly annoyed to read OW listed my kids as her mom's grandchildren. I know OW wrote this obit for her mom because it is sentimental and emotional and because J told me her dad is not doing well with all this. I doubt if J has seen this but he wouldn't say anything about it anyway. But I am p*ssed she mentioned my kids. But I am trying to remain calm and remember it doesn't really mean anything to anyone but OW. I know the truth and that is what is important. My friend said OW is probably thinking I will read this obit and put that in there to get a reaction.

I thought about telling J that I think it's inappropriate, but he will just defend OW and possibly do more stuff to annoy me if he knows it gets a reaction. It doesn't hurt anyone and it doesn't mean anything. It is just highly inappropriate.

I am giving this to God and hoping a swift dose of karma is served up piping hot.

WH

Last edited by wishing, hoping; 09/09/14 05:10 PM.

AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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Wishing, she is simply gross. Just gross.

But, I agree that by making mention of it...you will be giving her what she wants...a reaction. YOU are their mother. Ain't nothin she can do to change that.

And, as far as Karma...you are already seeing J is gettin his. Faster than we all hoped too!! He's got himself a load of an OW and she has a serious AGENDA. He is going to hate his life soooooo much in the months and years to come. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy!


"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
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WH,

A lot of the times when Affair Partners get engaged or marry, they tend to try to legitimatize their R by assigning labels as if everyone was okay with their relationship and accepts it. Also about the obit, it is all how she presents herself and her 'family' to outsiders. Appearances are terribly important to them....because they know what they did was wrong.

That is why you see a lot of the OWs/OMs post pictures of them with the LBS' kids on FB and other social media. As if Jabba the Hut can make himself more cuddly by posing next to the LBS' kids. Crraaaazy!

Too sad.

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It is crazy. My friend told me I should kill her with kindness. Like offer to make a casserole or something. I considered it but I don't have the energy to spend on her.

J called me tonight and told me plans have changed and he will not be pulling the kids out of school on Thursday. I was secretly happy but feigned disinterest. He is still pulling them an hour early tomorrow but is coming back with them tomorrow night, sending them to school and coming back after the funeral so he can be there when they get off school and take D to soccer. I don't know what happened, I didn't ask. But either OW told J the kids were not welcome or J decided he didn't want to be around the chaos.

D picked out her Halloween costume tonight. I can't believe this year is nearly over. Crazy.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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And again J called me this morning. It seems like he always has an excuse to call. You can almost set a clock by his phone calls. He is so predictable. I don't always answer or I let it go to VM but he keeps redialing. Honestly it is old so most of the time I answer just to get the conversation over for the day. Ugh. But on a funny note, I usually know what he's going to say because he constantly repeats himself. It's sad. So I just hold the phone away from my ear and pop out a couple "uh huhs" and "yeahs" just for good measure.

But this morning just reminded me how the more things change, the more they stay the same. J thanked me for dressing D so nicely yesterday and that everyone thought she was adorable (which she is). She said OW's SIL used to be involved with dance and was impressed with D and her form and dedication to dance (I take all J's words with a grain of salt - he lies). He then went on to tell me how the kids are "so much like him" because they are perfectionists and so is he and how it is a "blessing and a curse to try to be perfect in everything you do". BLECH! I don't know if he was trying to bait me with that comment or what, but I just let it slide and didn't say anything snide or complimentary. I just let it sit. Uncomfortable silence.

So he still thinks he is the greatest thing since sliced bread and that all women are just begging to get a piece of him. Please. That's why he picked OW? Because she is the pick of the litter? Right. There's a huge line waiting to get to him. NOT.

What a huge bag of crazy. And it's leaking. I just keep eating my popcorn.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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What a huge bag of crazy. And it's leaking.

LOl - thanks for my first laugh of the day!

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So I just hold the phone away from my ear and pop out a couple "uh huhs" and "yeahs" just for good measure.


Guilty as charged! I've done that too. Then I just quit answering calls, let them all go to voice mail and then answered them with texts or emails. Now I've got all communications down to email only. (Although, thank goodness, my kids were much older than yours, so there was less need for daily communication).

I can't wait to see how he spins out once you actually start dating.

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Well I am still on Match and I've been talking to a few guys. I found one from my home town and his stepdaughter (ex) is one of S's friends. Small world. He seems nice. I don't know how much we have in common but it's nice to have someone to talk to.

I tried plenty o fish and hello Cupid (or whatever it is) and I found the questions they asked to be far too personal. I feel like it's a meat market. I signed up for eHarmony and you have to pay before you can even see someone's picture. That's just not for me.

So s calls me he is at the soccer field watching a soccer game and he calls me to bring him a jacket because he's freezing (it's only 50 degrees here). At least he can depend on one of us I guess.

WH


AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012
Two kids, one dog
D Final 6/18/14
J marries OW 1/24/15
"No matter where you go, there you are"
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