Saving my marriage by focusing on ME (Part 2)

[Starsky309]

I think you already know the answer to all of this, Ox. C'mon.

[Oxford1]

I will say that I am not pursuing, I am not "initiating" any conversation.

One thing I have learned is that I am pretty good at all the DB principles except the one about thinking to much about what she's up to.

But this always has been my nemesis it's hard to break that habit really hard.

[Starsky309]

That's why we're here to smack ya around when you forget.

[zew]

And forget the rings.

My W makes a point of wearing hers when she leaves our house, then immediately takes them off in her car, then puts them back on when she comes home.

It's all meaningless at best, or an attempt to jerk your chain at worst.

When she's back, you'll know it. You won't have to guess by whether or not she's wearing a ring.

[Starsky309]

And forget the rings.

My W makes a point of wearing hers when she leaves our house, then immediately takes them off in her car, then puts them back on when she comes home.

It's all meaningless at best, or an attempt to jerk your chain at worst.

When she's back, you'll know it. You won't have to guess by whether or not she's wearing a ring.

BINGO.

[Oxford1]

I think you already know the answer to all of this, Ox. C'mon.

Yup!

SHUT UP!!!!!
DON'T ASK!!!

[Cadet]

I think you already know the answer to all of this, Ox. C'mon.

Yup!

SHUT UP!!!!!
DON'T ASK!!!

Yea what happened to buying that duct tape?

[Oxford1]

So here's a new one . Someone put an ad on Craigslist and used my work cell phone number.

The add starts out about personal goods for sale etc. Then gets into some pretty raunchy stuff, stuff my WW would not even know about.

It also uses a modified version of my wife's name and claims she's making me sell all our stuff from my man cave.

It lists the address as a town the OM was hoping she would have rented an apartment in if we were S or Ding.

I find this all very interesting especially since the advertisement was placed about 5:30 last night when she was on her way home from work.

It could all be a coincidence or could it..Dunn duh. Dunn

[Oxford1]

Had an interesting conversation with the MC about control.

She said that the word controlling is extremely over-used in marital situations.
Even in a good marriage it can be over used.

Also pointed out that a lot of men don't realize they are being controlling.
a perfect example is when your wife won't tell you certain things because she is afraid you will get angry...that's not control.

But when your wife won't DO certain things because she's afraid of how you'll react to that, that is control. ( she does not mean with OM or even girlfriends)

[Ggrass]

Controlling is telling your wife that

I won't stay here all day in the motel while you sleep, and ruin my expensive over seas holiday.

It was no holiday, it was a trip to burry my nan and that gem was the day after! Supportive not, or threatening if I could not open my mouth and get my chit together he would force us in a plane to go home.

It's both controlling and punishing from the ic perspective. When I told her that story she pointed it out.

It depends on why and how you say things. If its all your way, then it's control. If your wife has a choice and you can go with her choice then that's not so much.

If I've explained that well enough.