I'm not surprised that you've been cut off from the checking account. Did you set one up for yourself and take some money and move it over to the new account?
When was the last time your AC was serviced? Do you have a yearly contract on the AC for service, etc.?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It's sad that he sent his nasty gram. What where you suppose to do? Any way, I'm glad you are in the frame of mind not to care at this point. He should have either notified you that you were no longer on the account or put money in your account or ensured that you had money to operate with.
I'm sure you are more than ready to see this move along and get on w/your life w/o worrying about him shutting down accounts, etc.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Oh he did notify me, through a very passive aggressive letter to my attorney.
That's why I wrote a check and deposited into my account. Since I don't have access to know the balance...
He told her in writing that I no longer have " permission " to write checks on the account and that he's shutting it down.
In the letter he stated that he was going to start depositing money into my account. Well he said that back in 2013 when I opened the checking account... we'll see if he does it this time .
Right now I'm trying to get a list done
One was service the SUV, next
Have A C looked over
Get mammo
Get colonoscopy ugh!
Jiffy Lube
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
Be sure to add on that list any other home repairs that you think you may need to have done in the next month or so. At least that way you'll have some idea what is coming down the pike.
I'm very sorry he's acting like this...but not surprised as they all follow the same handbook.
Take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Wow, yesterday was busy , stressful, and exhausting. Most of it was in the attorney's office. His interrogatories finally came in. Reading why he left me was something I probably shouldn't have done, but I did. It made me laugh and I was truly shocked that he'd lie. I expected the rewriting or amnesia, but to lie really floored me. He said I refused to get a job. Well this was not true. There were so many times I asked him if I needed to go back to work. The replies at the time were : No It wouldn't make a difference It would cost more in work clothes, gas, childcare...
When he first got Riffed from Sun Micro, I again asked him. He replied in the negative. When he needed me to go to work, a year prior to bomb drop, that was when I said I should go back to school. This way I could make a decent salary. I then immediately looked into what I could do and was most gifted in doing.
The other part was , I never cooked or cleaned. And I didn't contribute to the marriage. W O W ! Now a disclaimer... the last five years I had two teens, and when they didn't like what I was going to prepare for dinner, their fall back was to call daddy to bring something home. There was food in the house, just not junk food, and it required preparing. I was not going to make crap nor be a restaurant, and cook everyone something different. Especially after working in the yard for over eight hours... The Winter was different, I ALWAYS had something in the crock pot. It sickened me to see that everything I did was discounted or not seen. I guess that shouldn't surprise me, for I never felt appreciated, and when the oldest was at home, she sucked the life out of me. She wasn't doing it on purpose, she just had SO many issues, and needs.
When I did work part time, I would use the money to either purchase plants and trees, or enhance the house and make it a home. When something cost too much, I would teach myself how to make it and save money. He didn't see that as contributing. According to him, he was " financing my country lifestyle ". All three of us were confused about what that meant, my attorney, the Para legal, and myself.
Then I looked at the bank statements..." Holy, spend all you can Batman. "
Here I was feeling sorry for him, not flushing toilets , to save on the water bill. When the propane would run out, I'd wait a week or so before asking for it to be filled. I was terrified to by any presents at Christmas, made them all for our family and his, because he said there was no money. Worried about how to celebrate our daughter's birthdays etc. UUUUUGH!
Meanwhile, remember the one receipt I found for Julie? Weeeeell , he has been taking her on trips all over the country. I've lost over sixty pounds and needed new clothes, purchased them at outlets, or with my daughter's generous discounts. He would take out six hundred dollars a week from the ATM, go golfing, go on fishing trips and playing poker. Eating out at restaurants, He has been purchasing clothes at department stores, jewelry, and dining her. They went to Key West! Then he'd text me nasties about my fifty dollar a month gym membership , which I'd use every day of the month or my dance which cost 110.00 every two months @ two lessons a week! The dances I paid from my ladies coming to me for waxing or facials.
He has also opened two more credit cards in his name, and has over 10,000.00 dollars on them, since January! Stopped paying the mortgage and owes the IRS over one hundred and fifty thousand dollars!! Yup, I don't know this person and was Job ever right!
I am SO glad I was emotionally detached when I read all of this. I laughed and at times I felt like a sucker. He is NUTS. He is in the land of no return, and at least I'll no longer feel guilty or afraid . TEN THOUSAND dollars in six months, and he isn't paying them either! I never would have ever thought he'd go this insane..... W O W !
The house will probably go to a short sale, and then after the PL.. hearing onto the divorce.
Still in shock, and awe.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
Ambivalent, I warned you many, many months ago that the was just starting in replay and to watch the bank accounts, etc. Boy, the man is spending money like it's water.
He is looking at your life style as that of someone living in the country w/a very quiet and peaceful time. He's living the fast track and is not thinking of slowing down any time soon. Poor thing, if and when he crashes, it's going to hurt like h@ll...but you won't be there to catch him this time.
I do hope that you are doing okay. Have you found another place to live, just in case the house sells quickly?
Document and keep your records in good order. Sounds like you'll need to mark sure you name isn't on anything that involves him when the divorce goes through.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Edit first sentence to read: "I warned you many, many months ago that he was just starting in replay and to watch the bank accounts....it's water."
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Spent over six hundred dollars speaking with my attorney today...UGH!
She's preparing a counter to a settlement. The hearing is on Thursday morning. Today I found out more about our finances... he has stolen and used all of the IRA, 401k, and a Fidelity Investment account.
This man liquidated 65K May 1st 2013, the bomb drop was....... May 14, 2013. Koinkidink? I think NOT!
So all that spew about getting a mediator, spending money where we could save, I'm not thinking of how this is going to affect us financially? Yup... bull cocky's.
This man did NOT want me finding out what he was doing. How much money he was spending. How far back it went, and wanted me to feel like I was the bad guy.
Edited - content not allowed.
Someone please SLAP me and HARD! I need to wake up from this nightmare!
Job, I didn't know about the accounts. I never knew there was an IRA, or Fidelity Trust account. I only knew about the 401K.
As for HIS checking account, I did not have access to the statements.
All of his past checking account statements are in a box in my attorney's office. I looked over them. YUP! He is trying to make himself feel better, and is only getting in deeper.
I'm absolutely SHOCKED that he took out to new credit cards in Jan. and has racked up ten grand! Holy Jesus Mary and Joseph!
God , I am SO thankful I don't have any feelings for this guy anymore. To have this and where I was? Sheeaht!
My goal is to get this settled, bank as much as I can. Find a place before it gets cold, so I don't have to pay propane. However, staying here even with propane , would allow me to bank some bucks. I'd only be paying utilities.
I'm going to try and get a cc through my bank. With a security against my savings account. Purchase dog food on it, and pay it off every month, to develop some credit.
I'm in over my head, for I'm learning everything from scratch. I'll be back to making lists again. This is mind blowing.
Last edited by Virginia; 07/30/1411:48 AM.
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
