Saving my family - Part 12

[Scorp7]

Thanks for all the feedback! Slow and steady, I need to constantly remind myself of that. My W and I are getting together with our kids each time we do the switch so we're generally sitting down together and having a meal. It's a great opportunity for me to just be myself, keep things relaxed and reconnect with my W.

I'd love to propose doing more together as a family. I'll just have to wait, give things time. My kids and I are doing so well together and my W sees that and hears all about it. Over time that may be what brings us back together.

[Scorp7]

Well, things seem to have hit a stand still with my W. She is for sure involved with another guy. I don't know that it's physical at this point but she is definitely very involved with him. That to me is kind of a deal breaker. Obviously there's no chance of a R if she's with someone else.

My life is very full and busy. When the kids are with me every other week we have an amazing time together and we are all very happy. When they are with my W for the off week I've got a million things going on so I can't say I can fit much more into my life right now.

I still very much want my kids to have both their parents with them again someday. That is out of my hands it seems. I've come so far from the person I used to be and that counts for a lot. My kids have a great Dad, we'll always have each other.

So, here I am, 10 months into this thing. The relationship with my W is night and day better than it was when this started. We can talk about the kids on the phone, text each other and sit down together for a meal and hang out every week. I want to believe that it can still improve, that there might still be hope for us. I admit though that my hope is fading. I was totally responsible for my part in the breakdown of the M. That is the past. I'd hoped that my W could see a new future, a new start for our family and at least give that a shot for our kids. It would seem that isn't in her plans.

How long do I wait? Another 10 months? 2 years? I just don't know. How can I abandon any thoughts of a R when that would be closing the door on our family?

[MrBond]

"Obviously there's no chance of a R if she's with someone else."

Not true. The majority of success stories had another person involved. All of that depends on you.

If it's a deal breaker for you, then you're going to have to just sign the papers and move on.

[Scorp7]

You're right MB. I was thinking more if she stayed with this guy then that would be all she wrote.

I would still want her back even if she had been with someone else. If we didn't have kids I don't that I could say that. We do, three very young ones at that, so I will do anything to reunite our family.

[Drew]

How long do I wait? Another 10 months? 2 years? I just don't know. How can I abandon any thoughts of a R when that would be closing the door on our family?

This is a marathon, not a sprint.

[Scorp7]

Thanks Drew, I keep telling myself that.

In the mean time, do I date? Having someone else involved in this doesn't seem right and I really can't imagine being with anyone else. My kids are so young that I wouldn't want to put them through that either.

The right thing seems to just continue to get used to being on my own. I have my friends and that helps although I don't have a lot of time to see them right now. My band is about to get busy this fall so that will help as well.

[Ss06]

Scorpio, if you want her back you don't date other people. Date yourself. Find out more about you. You're in this for the long haul and dating undermines that.

[Scorp7]

Here is another one I struggle with. I now Sandi's rules say to not pursue and I agree with that for the most part. What I'm wondering is, at what point is it ok to ask her if she may like to do something together? Even to do something as a family?

I asked her to be a part of my D5's birthday a month ago and she agreed to that. It was a big step and we had a great time together. If I hadn't asked she wouldn't have come. Considering that, should I not continue to ask her to do things together going forward?

In some ways, Sandi's rules seem to almost indicate that I should just sit back and wait for her to maybe someday have a change of heart and then she would pursue me? (When I say sit back, I mean not do anything to try to initiate but still working on myself and the GAL).

[Drew]

You know the right answer Scorp.

However, having women find you attractive is not necessarily a bad thing ....

Just stay true to your goal.

[Drew]

Squirrel, Scorp.

Squirrel.