I won't stay here all day in the motel while you sleep, and ruin my expensive over seas holiday.
It was no holiday, it was a trip to burry my nan and that gem was the day after! Supportive not, or threatening if I could not open my mouth and get my chit together he would force us in a plane to go home.
It's both controlling and punishing from the ic perspective. When I told her that story she pointed it out.
It depends on why and how you say things. If its all your way, then it's control. If your wife has a choice and you can go with her choice then that's not so much.
If I've explained that well enough.
You have explained it well.
My plan the next week is to be on my best behavior.
I am avoiding starting any and all conversation with WAW.
The biggest thing I have to avoid is shifting the focus to me. I realized that sometimes the WAW has a thought about what is happening, I comment on it and the focus ends up now being on me instead of on what she's doing or what the OM has her doing.
W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21 33 years M 28 DD 3 Feb 11, 2014 S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
I guess I was trying to illustrate in a story, if you expect total compliance with out question on your choices, then you are trying to control.
I wouldn't comment on her om or turn the spot light onto you, if you turn the bright lights on you she can focus on your faults. Just be a friend. Let her lead and talk on anything other than those 3^^^^ up there.
Weather, ice cream, kids, work shopping etc.
Last edited by Ggrass; 07/30/1407:23 AM.
M 46 h54 Both married before T 11y Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads! Ms 18 hs 26
I guess I was trying to illustrate in a story, if you expect total compliance with out question on your choices, then you are trying to control.
I wouldn't comment on her om or turn the spot light onto you, if you turn the bright lights on you she can focus on your faults. Just be a friend. Let her lead and talk on anything other than those 3^^^^ up there.
Weather, ice cream, kids, work shopping etc.
That exactly what I am doing. She got home around midnight last night. I was sleeping. This morning she went to our basement gym to work out I was up but faked sleeping ( really not to bother her etc..). Then when I got back from the gym she and S16 were gone to work.
What worries me is that she took clothes to go out during the day. This tells me she's cutting out of work AGAIN...I can't afford her to get fired.
The other thing is , I know she changes into street clothes in her office, but she changes back to work clothes when she comes home....where does she do this?
I know she has already made an appointment for a lie detector test at the MC office after OM leaves for his country.
W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21 33 years M 28 DD 3 Feb 11, 2014 S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
She changes her clothes because her knickers get in knots? Or they become Russian up her bottom! your right. It's just that she never ever cut out of work for me. Could never stay up past 10 always wanted to be home by 12AM. I know I am still to focused on her. But Ox has for to get more of a life. It's like I am the only responsible adult at this time. Think crazy, he's nuts, she's nuts they're both nuts. you are so correct even the MC says there is something so dysfunctional about this A You cant control her job, but you can get ox another job. Or a second job or a third job.
Think what is my plan a if she is gone or fired? Plan b?
The emergency life raft should all those go to custard? Step one is get the little ducks all lined up, so ox is ok.
Steps to take with children should she leave the country? Ask all the questions is get on the front foot.
I doubt she's leaving at least not until S16 graduates high school.
If she decides to go to his country right now then she's absolutely nuts. If she tells me she's going again I am filing for divorce and getting a restraining order. My s21 says he's done with her at that point and S16 is goin to become an emancipated minor .
I start out the day in a great mood then end up On an emotional roller coaster!
W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21 33 years M 28 DD 3 Feb 11, 2014 S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
"I know she has already made an appointment for a lie detector test at the MC office after OM leaves for his country."
I don't get it. Your W asked for a lie detector test? For who? You? Her?
It's actually both . For some reason she wants to prove to me they never got physical and that she never went near his hotel.
She wants me to prove I had nothing to do with her Cheaterville posting!
W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21 33 years M 28 DD 3 Feb 11, 2014 S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
She's going to attempt to prove to you what "is" is, Ox, by pretending that a DEEPLY-entrenched EA -- even one that her husband knows about, is anguished about, her own SON knows about, but yet she refuses to give it up -- is somehow morally okay so long as it's not a PA.
