Just some more Info my W has full access to all our accounts and I can see that the OM does not spend any money on her at all, she buy her food her clothes everything.
She knows I take care of the house I take care of our children so the perfect solution for her for now. That is I believe why she puts up with him not being good looking so so in bed and cannot properly communicate either.
Wait, you mean she's having an A with her therapist?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
No not the therapist she is a women the OM is a civil engineer she met online I guess I never snooped just what she told me. I just don't understand that she does not care about our daughters anymore my little one is crying everyday and it breaks my heart. I have not confronted her about that to stick with the DB rules, plus I don't think it would make a difference either in the state of mind she is right now.
I also would appreciate some insight in what she said to me like 80% she will be back, and she just needs time I have way more to offer and so on, is she just saying that out of guilt or is there any truth to it, she was never angry at me and always said it was all her fault (which it was not I made plenty of mistakes which I always deeply regretted and I told her that)
I just don't understand that she does not care about our daughters anymore my little one is crying everyday and it breaks my heart.
It's not easy to explain. It's not that she has stop loving her children. She is so caught up in a selfish, unrealistic world of nothing but dreams. She is fogged out of her mind. She is not rational. She is emotional. All she focuses on are her needs and desires. Everything......everybody gets pushed way back on her priority list. Anyone who hinders her getting what she wants, she will fight or neglect. Great mothers have forsaken their children b/c of this mess.
It doesn't help your pain when you see your children suffering. They need your love and attention more than ever. Try to assure them that they are not the problem. Their mother is not herself (and she's not).
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thank you Sandi for your kind words I tell my children all the time that their mother is a good person and they should keep her in a special place in their hearts as I do, that she is not herself and with our help she will be back to normal again hopefully soon.
I have to leave in two week to go to work for 42days to West Africa my mother will try to help with some of the household and my oldest daughter is very capable and caring about her younger sister. I will speak with them every day on Skype should I go silent with my wife or will that push her closer to the OM.
tell my children all the time that their mother is a good person
But sometimes kids don't see it as being a good person when they are getting hurt by that person. Maybe tell them that Mom is human. She messes up big time! But she still loves them. They really need assured she hasn't stopped loving them.
Kids need to be allowed to feel their anger, disappointment, and hurt. They need to talk about it, if they can. I don't approve of children showing disrespectful behavior toward parents. But they have to learn how to deal with their feelings, just as we do.
I'm so sorry your family is going through this painful experience.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
My children are very mature for their age and I have tried to explain to them that their mom is going trough a tough time and I believe she is in a lot of pain and turmoil, they try to cope and understand as do I. My wife has been gone for almost a week now and has not called the kids, me I am used to it, I think she is feeling a lot of guilt that is the reason. I have kept my end of the deal, I do things with my children I cook for them everyday I clean do laundry and keep going to the gym to stay fit and focused. Some days are good most of them bad and very hard, I miss her very much, I hope from the bottom of my heart that she will find her way, and if my children and I are lucky that road will lead her back to us. Thank you Sandi
Should I post questions about her A on the other forum, I would like to know if the dynamics of an affair are different when the OM is single. My W me tend that she told him that she does not know which man she should pick and his reply was do whatever makes you happy ????? I guess she likes that because she has no pressure to deal with, but I doubt very much that he will take over all the financial responsibilities if she decides to go with him.
