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Originally Posted By: Oxford1
Ok, so here we go again...I need to really GAL, I get to focused on my WW.

This morning she says to me you just need to let me go through this...I promise when I'm done we will work on us.

I said work on us? Hopefully you'll stop seeing OM.

She says I just don't know? What is she so afraid of. She's actually dragging this guy around like a puppy, he has it worse then me...I don't get why he puts up with her.

Why would a guy fight so hard for a married woman!

Yeesh...

It's time for me to just not even speak to her...

What happened to saying stop and refusing to let her talk about OM? Boundaries?

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Originally Posted By: Oxford1
Originally Posted By: Maybell
Why would a guy fight so hard for a married woman?

Because he values her, finds her desirable.

Do you not see your wife that way?


Of course I do, why do you think I am fighting so hard for her.
But he is single, no ties to anyone, lives in another country etc...

Thinks he's Gods gift to mankind...etc..

Still focusing on him.

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Originally Posted By: Maybell
If you don't see her as someone who is desirable to ANYBODY, regardless of marital status, then you're not fighting for HER. You're fighting to WIN.


Just the opposite. I have been accused of putting her on a pedestal. I have always seen her as a wonderful woman, who is smart, empathetic and very beautiful.

I just feel that this guy has focused on her looks and the fact that at 53 he has never been happy. But it's not about him it's about me and my wife.

I am not " fighting " to win, he is...

Everyone feels that as soon as she divorces me, goes with him, possibly marries him, the minute those early romantic feelings start to fade, he will cheat on her or leave her...he has a history of having affair after affair, but my WW says " none of those stories are true" despite evidence and proof to the contrary.

I Have been with her since I was 19 and she was 20 and only her. I never even considered myself remotely attracted to anyone else.


W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21
33 years M 28
DD 3 Feb 11, 2014
S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
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Some great advice given by Train and Starsky on Sho's thread!

I am going to have to follow it the rest of this week and from now on myself!

Shodan's Thread

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Went out yesterday and got my self a new suit some shirts and ties. I had been putting this off for a while and decided to take the day.

Then took s16 to dinner and had a nice Lobster.


Today went a bought some new supplies for my workshop....I need to start my hobbies again.


W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21
33 years M 28
DD 3 Feb 11, 2014
S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
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Originally Posted By: Starsky309



PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE.


So I came back from the gym at 9:30. My WW was in the basement using the home gym.. Probably doing P90X.

I figured I had time to take a quick shower. She comes up and asks me how long I would be, I told her the truth I just got in and would be out in five minutes.

Her comment " oh that's not passive aggressive"

Wtf, first off I jumped in the shower to stay out of her way.
Secondly she's rushing me because she told her special friend she would meet him at 10. I know if she's a minute late he yells at her.

I asked her how is getting in the showers before you passive aggressive?
( I was thinking " so I should sit and wait for you to shower so you can go see OM on time?).( What was I thinking?)

So she apologizes and tells me they went to far away yesterday and she did not drop him off until 1 AM.

I told her your the one who told me you won't be home past midnight, 2:30 AM the night before was way to late.

At first she was preparing to start with me about bringing up the time. Then she said she realizes OM is trying to make me nuts. She fell to sleep in the car and when she woke up he was driving 40 miles an hour!

Then she tells me their conversations are getting boring and redundant.

Then she says the OM is so damn controlling and it's. A problem, but he's well aware of that!

When she got in the shower I got dressed and left for the day...by the time she left I was long gone...

Then I realized she had told me where she was going, she's way behind on work and has to catch up...she and OM must have been nervous I was going to "hunt" them down....
Like I have nothing better to do!



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Originally Posted By: Oxford1
Originally Posted By: Starsky309



PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE.


So I came back from the gym at 9:30. My WW was in the basement using the home gym.. Probably doing P90X.

I figured I had time to take a quick shower. She comes up and asks me how long I would be, I told her the truth I just got in and would be out in five minutes.

Her comment " oh that's not passive aggressive"

Wtf, first off I jumped in the shower to stay out of her way.
Secondly she's rushing me because she told her special friend she would meet him at 10. I know if she's a minute late he yells at her.

I asked her how is getting in the showers before you passive aggressive?
( I was thinking " so I should sit and wait for you to shower so you can go see OM on time?).( What was I thinking?)

So she apologizes and tells me they went to far away yesterday and she did not drop him off until 1 AM.

I told her your the one who told me you won't be home past midnight, 2:30 AM the night before was way to late.

At first she was preparing to start with me about bringing up the time. Then she said she realizes OM is trying to make me nuts. She fell to sleep in the car and when she woke up he was driving 40 miles an hour!

Then she tells me their conversations are getting boring and redundant.

Then she says the OM is so damn controlling and it's. A problem, but he's well aware of that!

When she got in the shower I got dressed and left for the day...by the time she left I was long gone...

Then I realized she had told me where she was going, she's way behind on work and has to catch up...she and OM must have been nervous I was going to "hunt" them down....
Like I have nothing better to do!




What happened to saying stop and detaching?

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Rolls eyes, it's all about them, not a reflection of you ox! crazy

They are completely nuts, just take my pop corn sit down and enjoy as much as you can the train wreck that's coming. It's so completely wacky and the players cannot see the reality.

Think of the om like this he's dosed in petrol holding a box of matches, either you will light him up (which is btw what he wants to make ox the really really bad guy) or you can wait till he accidentally does it to him self.

Option b will be far better for you. Keep your eyes on option b.


M 46 h54
Both married before
T 11y
Bd 2/14 I must see where ow leads!
Ms 18 hs 26
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Originally Posted By: Ggrass
Rolls eyes, it's all about them, not a reflection of you ox! crazy

They are completely nuts, just take my pop corn sit down and enjoy as much as you can the train wreck that's coming. It's so completely wacky and the players cannot see the reality.

Think of the om like this he's dosed in petrol holding a box of matches, either you will light him up (which is btw what he wants to make ox the really really bad guy) or you can wait till he accidentally does it to him self.

Option b will be far better for you. Keep your eyes on option b.


Thanks!

You and my MC are on the same page. A friend of mine told me that she believes my wife is about to implode and I am going to need to pick up the pieces.

By the way it's 9:30 PM and she has to be in work by 7:30AM and guess what, she just got home!

She told me she is feeling sleep deprived. Missed an exit today ended up not getting as much work done etc.

She said something about OM not seeming to care about her well being, he is sucking the life out of her.

I on the other hand helped her deal with the 20 bug bites she got the other night and helped her get ready for tomorrow.

I brought up the reason I jumped in the shower and she said she did not want to talk about it...I know it's mind reading, but if can guess it's because she really was not upset with me she was upset that OM was rushing her.

She also asked me why I was not home when she left this morning, she was really prying to find out what I did.

She also reiterated that she is planning on taking a lie detector test to prove that there has been no PA at this visit.


W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21
33 years M 28
DD 3 Feb 11, 2014
S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
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Originally Posted By: gabbysmom23
You do realize even if she passes this lie detector test about having a PA, she is still full on in a EA, right. I mean every night she is out with him. I just hope you know this. You can spend money on semen analysis, lie detectors, or whateve, but she is still having quite the EA.

What happened to your boundaries on listening to her talk about him and complain about him to you? How utterly disrespectful . You can't stop her from doing that, but you can say " I am not going to listen to you talk about him" and walk away.



That's exactly what I did. She was telling me that she was really nervous that she though her meetings today started at 11 but they started at 9 AM.

She started saying why she got nothing done yesterday as soon as she said "he" I said, wow, please don't mention him, if you want to talk about your issues fine but just don't bring him up. She said well he was part of the reason I got nothing done so of course he's in the conversation.

So I replied well then I guess we are done talking about it.

This morning when I went to wake her she whined to me, " is today Saturday" I said no it's Monday. An hour later she was up but whipped out her computer and began reviewing some stuff.

Her entire world is about to come crashing down on her.


W 53 H 51, S 16, S 21
33 years M 28
DD 3 Feb 11, 2014
S21 and His Fiancée move in with us 8/14
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...965#Post2477965
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