one day at a time

[Ggrass]

Tough, really tough.

Maybe look at what you want? And what he is prepared to do?
He does need serious runs on the board.

[kml]

Until he's willing to go to counseling and do the work it's all b.s.

[Starsky309]

Until he's willing to go to counseling and do the work it's all b.s.

Yep.

[Georgiabelle]

And this would be some SERIOUS work.

[twinmom]

I think he **might** be making some progress in realizing the mess he created but I don't think he is ready to clean up the mess...

He went to church today. And it just so happened father asked us to take the gifts to the alter today.

He has been in a rather grumpy mood today so I spent most of the day getting my nails done and relaxing outside with margaritas.

On a side note, H and I decided to go see Sex Tape last night and they wouldn't let us because I had Lilly with (wrapped in a Moby wrap) they said she couldn't see a rated R movie and asked if we wanted to see a PG13 movie. SERIOUSLY?!? She can't even see the screen!

[twinmom]

Just journaling my feelings....
Having such a hard time pulling away.
As soon as H walked in from work yesterday he picked Lilly up, about half way through dinner I made the comment that he totally screws me by holding her all night (she sleeps on his chest or in his arms on the couch) and most of the evening. He said he didn't mean to and I just replied that I couldn't hold her all day and that when he moves out I am totally fuc&$ on sleep.
Then I left to run errands.
H has been very grumpy/cold/distant both Sunday and Monday.

[claire7]

I really really feel for you. Having a baby is hard enough in a healthy R. In your sitch, with toddler twins, and a WAH... I honestly think you are amazing for coping the way you do.

Can you get some help during the day or overnight? Friends, relatives, a babysitter or a baby nurse who can give you a chance to rest? Who is watching you for PPD symptoms?

I hope you are able to get some support. Anyone in your sitch would need it...

[twinmom]

Claire H is still here for now, he refuses to move out. That's the "problem" he sleeps with Lilly and only brings her to me when she needs to nurse. I get a decent amount of sleep right now, but if OW decides to take H back or after our court date (September 3) he won't be here anymore but Lilly will be used to sleeping with him (she already is) and I will be so screwed. Right now during the day Lilly doesn't like to be put down and H picks her up as soon as he gets home and holds her all evening. Makes it hard for me to cook/clean/take care of the other kids.

[twinmom]

Sitting here nursing so nothing else to do but read/journal on my phone.......

I am really trying hard to live the no affection/friendship just be co-parents as long as your in contact with OW boundary I have decided on. H says he has only been in contact with her when she asked for him to repay her for car seats she purchased and for cell phone bill $$ (because H is still on her family plan)

I have no way of confirming this as we have not agreed to even working on the relationship (actually the opposite)

I just know for my sanity I can't interact with H on a friendship level while he still has ties to OW. I had an emotional evening a few nights ago and asked H to please tell me he wanted nothing to do with me, that I needed to hear the non sugar coated truth again, he refused to tell me he wanted a divorce.

Trying my best to be out of the house in the evenings or be in my room after the twins go to bed. Avoiding his calls/texts today. I have fallen into the trap of answering his calls/texts immediately and sharing funny kid stories with him throughout the day :o(

One freaking day at a time! Today he went into work at 10 and I spent the morning in bed and then slowly showering/doing my hair and make up. I ignored a phone call and didn't reply to a text for over an hour. When he gets home I have coupons that expire today so I will go shopping.

[twinmom]

Ok Train and Starsky (and the rest of you I know I am forgetting) be proud of me....

H just sent a text saying his mom wants to know what the cheapest place to purchase backpacks is right now....
1.) why didn't she just text me???? (she texts me all the time)
2.) it drives me INSANE that she buys/donates school supplies and Christmas gifts THEN asks to borrow $$$$

I ignored H's text and instead replied directly to his mom with the wanted information and left it at that...

This is accomplishing 2 things I am working on.
-Ignoring H unless about kids/absolutely have to
-My 180 of not complaining to H about stupid crap his family does, as normally I would have sent H a text saying "Why do we loan your mom $$$ why can't she realize she has her own bills to pay and stop donating so we don't have to pay her bills?"