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Originally Posted By: Bent
Sorry for rambling on but I am so lost right now, why would she not take anything with her she doesn't take clothes or any other item she comes home and takes what fits in her purse my daughter made her a cup that said on the inside bottom Mamma please come home that is the only thing she brought with her.


Maybe she has an " away bag" clothes, toiletries etc in a gym bag or something so that you would " think" she's not taking anything.


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Normally I speak to them on Skype, no I did not encourage their help but they are very smart as I mentioned before and have their own ideas when talking to their mom.


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Hello Ox no she does not have one I know my wife she only takes stuff for one or two days she has a large hand bag that's it.


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My W came home today we spoke a little she burst into tears and I could see how torn she was. She told me that she does not now what to do, and that it is unfair to me to ask for me to hang on. I know my wife she is fighting a huge battle within herself, I will stay at her side and wait my kids and I have the better cards, I know and she said that she still deeply loves me but is confused with the OM.
As for the time apart we have been doing this for twenty years and it has kept our relationship alive and new we speak for hours every day on Skype and I often told my wife I would gladly come home and stay with her if she wants it.


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I think the is a very accurate description that you posted she acts like a emotional 16year old one, she has moments where she is full of guilt and she is totally aware of the damage she is doing to the family unit, but the urges of infatuation are still too strong.
She is also in her clear moments aware that she has a lot to loose and that the OM has had already displayed traits that she does not like.
So I guess due to the fact that no one can accurately predict the length of infatuation, I strap down for at least six month good thing is that she is much further ahead than a lot of WAW in other posts.


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Hi guys still would need some advise on how to behave when I go back to West Africa for the next six weeks please.
I can also see the withdrawals on our account that shows me that the OM is not spending a dime on her, she never wears her expensive jewelry that I bought her just some cheap crap, also never touches her expensive perfume collection, spoke with her best friend just to say hello did not mention anything about what is going on all her friend are oblivious that she has more or less left us.


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Well one more of a million questions if I continue my financial support and show my patients and take myself back will that not just give her more reason to prolong the A with the OM.
I read a book called break free from the affair which classified my Ws A as one of "I love being in love" calling it temporary insanity created by narcissistic flattery.
Two more days to go spending as much time with my children as possible to prep them for my departure, they are the ones encouraging me to proceed with my career.


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How are you doing Bent?


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Hello Sandi I am hanging in there have gone back to work no contact she has asked the kids about me but that's it. She is mostly staying with him neglecting my children. I am ready to throw in the towel I guess if almost twenty years of happy marriage in her own words can be turned off in a day, and all her love for me and my children vanish I question if there ever was any in the first place.
I promised my kids to give her time and I will honor that promise.
I am surprised that some people wait for a year for their spouse to return psychological execution that last for a year there are some very strong people out there.


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Originally Posted By: Bent
I am surprised that some people wait for a year for their spouse to return psychological execution that last for a year there are some very strong people out there.


Agree. I don't know that I'm one of those strong people. I have been waiting four months, and I know that's a drop in the bucket compared to most people on these boards. But we are probably a month away from entering into a four-month separation during which we have each agreed not to file for D. So I have to keep on...



"Don't look back, you aren't going that way"
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