I know I sounded bitter just then. I just want him to move out. I asked him again when he plans to go. He said he would move out rigjt away but as soon as he leaves he is not responsible for any of the back rent we have been paying off. I told him that wasn't how it worked and a judge would say he was still responsible. He was shocked. He really thinks this is just going to be a few amicable discussions and we are done. That may work for some but I don't see it working here especially when he makes comments saying I will not know where he is living and he can take s anywhere he wants.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
Unbelievable. I don't know how you are keeping such composure with ow. I loath the day I have to see hww. I don't even like to go to the store for fear of running into them. You are one classy lady. Seriously, I give you a lot of credit. I would not say you sound bitter. You are human and your feelings are totally being overlooked. Obviously you h, being in mlc, is not going to acknowledge them, but to say no one is hurt is annoying. I am glad you are not buying into his nonsense.
Reality will kick him in the rear-end when he is taking s wherever "he wants" and has to deal with s not wanting to be so accommodating. I am sick of these people and their disregard for their families. Sorry, now I sound bitter. I am just sorry he is being hurtful. That stinks.
I gotta give it to ya, though. You are handling it very well. I think what you said about seeing ow was perfect. The fact that your h says he does not respect you is laughable. You handled the sitch with her so respectfully! Well if he is finally being who he really is... that should make your detachment a little easier. Just keep that in mind through your tough times...
I have not read all of your posts. But I cannot imagine keeping my cool IF I had to talk to OW.
I often wonder if my H's OW is out of the picture...but stop snooping and asking months ago.
I give your A+ for keeping your cool with OW.
If I find out my H is still seeing OW then I will demand he move out ASAP! And would most likely file D.
My H also had A when he was not in MLC, blamed it on my not being there for him...this was years ago..but still wonder if he just has a cheating heart.
Now this OW he has never admitted to a EA or PA, continued to say it was not what I thought it was...when I threaten to contact OW H said OW did not know H was M...
That let me know then it was either a EA or PA , Hell sending flowers on valentine day red roses proved to me it was at least EA.(this is how he was caught)
Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015) H 51 (ring off 7/2013) M 2007 T 1996 S 14 July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
I'm sorry you are frustrated. You used one of my favorite words (a$$hat ) and I agree that does describe your h.
I feel very strongly about financial responsibilities. Does your h think magic fairies take care of stuff ? Happiest he's ever been, huh? So happy he won't leave ? Mmmmmm. Anyway, I think you are doing a great job!
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
His real self doesn't like who you really are. - that is hysterical.
These people act and speak like they are 15 years old and these other people in their lives not only provide sexual stuff but also enable them to have a juvienal mind frame.
Speak to your lawyer - you need to project you and your son financially
Last edited by BklynMom; 08/22/1402:06 AM.
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
No one got hurt? So, not only doesn't the "real" him not like the "real" you, you don't even count as "some one"? Yep, a$$hat says it all in a nutshell! If he leaves he won't be responsible for back rent? So, what does he think, D makes the past just go away? (I will say it seems like my W thinks that D will just erase the last 26 years like they never even happened, so maybe it's part of the script).
Be careful with this a$$hat and protect yourself and your kids!
GB I stole a$$hat from you! It was the absolute best word I can think of to describe him.
Mighty- you are right. Thinking that this is the real him and that he may very well never go back makes it MUCH easier to detach.
2bhappy- I find it funny/childish/ridiculous that to this day h had not admitted relationship with OW. Ss15 and I both at separate times saw texts filled with I love yous and very explicit sexuAL details. She admits that he spends every tues and Thurs night with her. But according to him they are just friends.
BK and Matt the financial situation is very frustrating. L said that as long as he is still living here we are considered 100% married and therefore equally responsible for debt. If it doesn't come from him it has to come from me. AND she said there is nothing I can do as far as setting a financial agreement as long as he still lives here. He now says he will leave as soon as back rent is caught up. We shall see.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
So I never posted how very unDB like I was when he said that Noone was in pain. First I listed who was in pain. He denied each of the kids and ignored me. Then I said the dogs were hurting which he laughed at. Then I went momentarily crazy and said I wanted mlc dog when he leaves. He goes for 48 hours without seeing and taking care of the dog and barely pays attention to him when he is here. This is a dog who loves cuddling. I really worry for him alone with h. H said that mlc dog goes when he goes and I have no idea how much they bonded on the 1x they went camping. Ridiculous. I even offered to buy mlc dog from him. H said that made him lose any respect he had left for me ???
Like I said I was clearly crazy to continue engaging.
Me 44 H 42 M 10 T 12 (at time of BD) Ss 20 16 S11 (special needs)
BD 9/13 H "unhappy for years" moves to seperate bedroom 10/13 EA/PA confirmed but denied S and I move out 3/15
It's okay. Sometimes we reach our tipping point. You have done remarkably well in some exceptionally trying circumstances. In regards to what your h thinks? Who knows? He probably doesn't know. And that caca line about losing respect for you for caring about the dog? .....grrrrrr. He would have said the same thing if you asked him to pass the pepper. He's bat$h!t.
You are one strong lady and a great mother :-)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
